How sentimental. You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat!
Played by Matt Frewer 
Hercules (1997) · 104 quotes
Hercules (1997) · 104 quotes
Tied for 7th most-quoted character in Hercules (1997): in 8 of its 104 quotes
Most scenes with: Pain (8), Hades (4), Phil (4)
Scenes with Panic
8 scenes Panic He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there.
You mean if he gets out of there.
Panic If? "If" is good.
Panic Hercules. Why does that name ring a bell?
I don't know. Um, maybe we owe him money?
So you took care of him, huh? Dead as a doornail. Weren't those your exact words?
This might be a different Hercules.
Panic Yeah! I mean, Hercules is a very popular name nowadays!
Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?!
Panic Hades is gonna kill us when he finds out what happened.
You mean, if he finds out!
Panic Of course he's gonna-- If... if is good.
Look, it wasn't my fault, it was this wonder-boy Hercules!
Panic [Hades freezes in shock; Pain and Panic look nervous]
Hercules... oh... why does that name ring a bell?
I dunno... maybe we owe him money?
What... was that name... again?
Hercules.
[continuing seemingly without noticing Hades]
He comes on with this big 'innocent farmboy' routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.
Wait a minute. Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to--?
Both
(They both spot Hades reaching for them)
OH, MY GODS!
Run for it!
(grabs them)
So you took care of him, huh?! Dead as a doornail. Weren't those your exact words?!
This might be a different Hercules!
Panic Yeah, I mean Hercules is a... [Hades chokes him] very popular name nowadays!
"Remember like a few years ago - every other boy was named Jason and the girls were all named Britney?!"
I'm about to re-arrange the cosmos... and the one schlemiel... who can louse it up... is waltzing around... IN THE WOODS! [literally explodes with rage]
I can't believe this guy. I throw everything I've got at him and it doesn't even-- [notices Pain wearing Air-Herc sandals] What are those?
Um, I don't know. I thought they looked kinda dashing.
I got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo, or the entire scheme I've been setting up for 18 years goes up in smoke, [up in flames] ...and you... are wearing... HIS MERCHANDISE!?!?!
Panic [suddenly the sound of slurping can be heard and Hades turns to Panic who is drinking a Hercules drink, Panic then notices that Hades is angry] [chuckles nervously]
Thirsty?
[Hades, entirely up in flames, screams; a big explosion far away and the whole stadium rumbles]
Mmm.
and then that, that play, that, that Oedipus thing. Man! I thought I had problems.
Panic [Both chuckle and such, two little birds sitting near turn into Pain and Panic to speak to Meg]
Psst! Stop foolin' around!
Yeah. Get the goods, sister.
[Hercules turns back and they turn into birst and tweet innocently]
I didn't know that playing hooky could be so much fun.
Yeah. Neither did I.
Thanks, Meg.
Oh.. Don't that me just yet. Oh! [She falls into Hercules' arms]
Oops, careful.
Sorry. Weak ankles.
Oh, yeah? Well, maybe you better sit down for a while. [carries her on a bench and they sit down]
So, uh, do you have any problems with things like.. this? [She stretched her leg and holds her foot right before Hercules' face]
Uh.....
Weak ankles, I mean.
Oh. Uh, no. Not really.
Uh—
No. I'm I'm afraid I'm, uh.. fit as a fiddle. [He finally stands up from the bench]
Wonderboy, you are perfect.
Thanks. [He sends a coin jumping on a water in a fountain and it breaks the arms off the statue of Venus] Whoops.
It looks better that way. No, it really does.
You know, when I was a kid I, I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.
You wanted to be petty and dishonest?
Everybody's not like that.
Yes, they are.
You're not like that
How do you know what I'm like?
All I know is.. You're the most amazing person with... weak ankles I've ever met. [Meg steps back and gets pricked on an arrow of a tiny statue of Amur] Meg, when I'm with you I-I don't feel so... alone.
Sometimes it's better to be alone.
What do you mean?
Nobody can hurt you.
Meg? I would never ever hurt you.
And I don't wanna hurt you, so... let's both do ourselves a favor and.. stop this... um.. before... we--
[Their lips met for the kiss, but the moment before it happens bright light flashes into their eyes. It is Phil, on Pegasus, impersonating police helicopter]
All right! Break it up! Break it up! Party's over! I been lookin' all over this town!
Calm down, mutton man! It was all my fault.
You're already on my list, sister, so don't make it worse
[Pegasus snorts at Meg, she snorts back, turning the light off]
And as for you, ya bum, you're gonna go to the stadium and you're gonna be put through the workout of your life! Now get on the horse.
Okay, okay.
I'm sorry.
Ah, he'll get over it.
[He bends a huge tree casually and picks a flower off it, gives it to Meg and kisses her in the cheek]
Move! Move, move, move, move, move! Move! [on Pegasus] Whoo! Ya-eee! Hey, watch it, watch it! Whoo! Watch it! Keep your goo-goo eyes on the- [A branch finally hits Phil and he falls on the ground] That's it. Next time, I drive.
