Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes

View Quote Clarissa: Damn! You sank my battle-shit!

View Quote Harold: Back off **** boy, what I said him goes double for you.
J.D.: **** boy? You just call me **** boy?
Harold: Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling 'cause you're not quick enough to think of a comeback.
J.D.: You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well I got news for you. I am quick enough! **** boy! (raises index finger in sad attempt to flip Harold off)

View Quote Extreme Sports Punk #2: Wo-o-o! Extreme Cheddar!

View Quote Dr. Patel: I will not tolerate this business from you any longer. You have one more interview tomorrow morning, and if I hear from Dr. Wein that you are anything short of spectacular, I'll completely cut you off.
Kumar: Dad, come on.
Dr. Patel: Daddy is not coming on anything!

View Quote Officer Palumbo: Bullets--my only weakness! How did you know?

View Quote Male Nurse: [wiping Kumar's lips with a little too much admiration] Soft, chocolate lips.

View Quote Kumar: [walks up to a bush and starts peeing] Ahh.
[Creepy Guy walks up out of nowhere and starts peeing right next to him]
Kumar: 'Scuse me, I just--
Creepy Guy: Huh?!
Kumar: I have to ask you, why'd you--wha--wha--why are you peeing right here?
Creepy Guy: What?
Kumar: I mean... why'd you pee right next to me when you could like, choose that bush, or--?
Creepy Guy: Well, this bush looked like I should pee on it. Why are you peeing on it?
Kumar: Well, no one was here when I chose this bush.
Creepy Guy: Oh, so you get to pee on it and no one else does? Huh?
Kumar: No, it's just--I just--
Creepy Guy: This your bush? You have a special bond with this bush?
Kumar: No, I just thought that--
Creepy Guy: You the king of the forest?
Kumar: I'm sorry?
Creepy Guy: What? You ****in' tree-hugger. Is this your special bush?!
Kumar: Never mind. Forget it, I really don't feel like gettin' stabbed tonight.
[they pee in silence for a bit]
Creepy Guy: [quietly] Nice pubes.
Kumar: [pauses, creeped out] Thanks.

View Quote Harold: I want that.
Kumar: What? A Hot Dog Heaven super chili cheese dog?
Harold: No. I want that feeling. The feeling that comes over a man when he gets exactly what he desires. I need that feeling!
Kumar: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Harold: We gotta go to White Castle.
Kumar: Yes! Yes! I knew you had it in you dude!

View Quote Rosenberg: Boobies, boobies, boobies!

View Quote It's gonna take me a while to fix up your car there, so if you boys like, you can go on inside, get yourselves something to drink, warsh up, **** my wife, watch TV - anything you want. Mi casa mi su casa. Just don't do anything the Good Lord wouldn't do.

View Quote Goldstein: This movie makes no sense. She's possessed, she's not possessed; that rack had better be stacked. Oh! Tits! Those aren't real. Yes, they are!

View Quote Officer Palumbo: I'm not a ****ing racist, okay?! You mother****er, so run away, and those black mother****ers won't get away with this, okay?! So suck my ****ing ****!

View Quote [Kumar is licking Harold to wake him up]
Harold: What the **** are you doing?! God!
Kumar: Well, you were out cold, I figured if I started doing some gay shit you'd wake up.
Harold: Didn't we come here on a cheetah? Where's the cheetah?
Kumar: It ran away. Listen, I got some bad news and some worse news.
Harold: Okay, give me the worse news first.
Kumar: I was looking at some of the roadsigns, and it looks like the cheetah took us in a completely different direction.
Harold: What's the bad news?
Kumar: Your laptop's completely destroyed.
Harold: [shouts] How is that not the worse news?
Kumar: [calmly] The laptop situation really only affects you, whereas the White Castle situation affects us both equally.

View Quote Cole: Extreme kayaking!

View Quote Roldy! Roldy! Dude, you gotta come quick. There's these two filthy pussies just aching to get boned by us! [total silence] I mean--duh--that there are these two lovely young pussies who would like to have a chat with you and I.