[walks up to a bush and starts peeing]

Ahh.

[Creepy Guy walks up out of nowhere and starts peeing right next to him]

'Scuse me, I just--

Huh?!

I have to ask you, why'd you--wha--wha--why are you peeing right here?

What?

I mean... why'd you pee right next to me when you could like, choose that bush, or--?

Well, this bush looked like I should pee on it. Why are you peeing on it?

Well, no one was here when I chose this bush.

Oh, so you get to pee on it and no one else does? Huh?

No, it's just--I just--

This your bush? You have a special bond with this bush?

No, I just thought that--

You the king of the forest?

I'm sorry?

What? You ****in' tree-hugger. Is this your special bush?!

Never mind. Forget it, I really don't feel like gettin' stabbed tonight.

[they pee in silence for a bit] [quietly]

Nice pubes.

[pauses, creeped out]

Thanks.