Chubbs Spoken like a true asshole.
4th most-quoted character in Happy Gilmore (1996): in 5 of its 55 quotes
Most scenes with: Happy Gilmore (4)
Scenes with Chubbs
5 scenes Chubbs Chubbs Golf's no different from hockey. It requires talent and self discipline.
Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbour the accountant, probably a great golfer, huge ass.
Chubbs Hey, I'll bet your neighbour the accountant, can't drive the ball 400 yards. I'll bet your neighbour the accountant doesn't have a shot to get on the Pro Tour!
And how would I do that?
Chubbs You win the Open tomorrow, and you're automatically on the Pro Tour. Then who knows, maybe you'll win the Tour Championship. Get that gold jacket that I never got.
Gold jacket, Green jacket, who gives a shit.
Chubbs Back in 1965, Sports Illustrated said I was going to be the next Arnold Palmer.
Yeah? What happened?
Chubbs They wouldn't let me play on the Pro Tour anymore.
Ah, I'm sorry. Because you're black?
Chubbs Hell no! Damned alligator bit my hand off!
Chubbs Yeah. Tournament down in Florida. I hooked my ball in the rough down by the lake. Damned alligator just popped up, cut me down on my prime. He got me, but I tore one of that bastard's eyes out though. Look at that.
[after hitting a hole-in-one]
He shoots, he scores! Oh, man. That was so much easier than putting. I should just try to get the ball in one shot every time.
Chubbs Good plan.
Chubbs It's all in the hips, yeah, it's all in the hips. It's all in the hips.
Get off of me.
Chubbs Just easing the tension, baby. Just easing the tension.
Yeah, well ease it on someone else.
