Gremlins (1984) · 18 quotes
Most-quoted character in Gremlins (1984): in 7 of its 18 quotes
Most scenes with: Randall Peltzer (2), Deputy Brent (2), Kate (2)
If it isn't Captain Clip-on! Guess who almost filed for unemployment today?
Billy I give up.
You! But Mr. Corben had other ideas. He gets so sentimental around the holidays. I would've fired you in a heartbeat.
Billy And a merry Christmas to you too. Excuse me, Mr. Jones.
Billy, you're familiar with the Bathroom Buddy? I have made an improvement. Now, let's say, you're about to walk into a big meeting. It's very important. You reach up and you forgot to shave. Now what do you do? Under normal circumstances, you are in trouble! But not if you have the Bathroom Buddy. Now watch [produces a shaver] Voila! What do you think?
Billy Peltzer That's pretty neat. What does this button do?
No, don't touch it!
Billy Peltzer Sorry dad.
No, it's okay.
Billy Peltzer No, I'm really sorry.
It's not your fault. I was going to get to that. I'll fix it tomorrow.
Gremlins, huh?
Billy Yes.
Little monsters?
Billy Right.
Hundreds of them?
Billy I don't know, maybe thousands. Look, I know it sounds crazy. I know it does, but in a matter of hours, this town's going to become a major disaster area! You have got to warn people!
You think the kid is drunk?
No, but you are!
Tell me something, Billy. How does a cute little creature like this turn into a thousand ugly monsters?
Billy Well, this is before it enters the pupal stage.
The pupal stage?
Billy Yeah, right. Plus it multiplies with water.
Aw, Christ!
Brent, why don't you give the kid some water?
Billy I wouldn't do that, sheriff.
Sheriff's office. Yeah, speaking... What?... Oh no... Yeah, we'll be right over.
Who was that?
The Futtermans. Something about a snowplow, a freak accident...
Billy It's the creatures! The creatures are making it look like an accident! Sheriff! WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?!
You listen to me, kid! Go on home, take little Gizmo, sit by the fire and open your Christmas presents, okay? Atta boy!
No, you're drunk.
You always get to drive!
Cause I'm the sheriff, asshole!
Now I have another reason to hate Christmas.
Billy Peltzer Kate, what are you talking about?
The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were, were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. Couple hours went by, Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So, the police began a search. 4 or 5 days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so, I went to try to light up the fire. And that's when I noticed the smell. Firemen came and broke through the chimney top, and me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird, and instead, they pulled out my father. [Gizmo gasps in shock] He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve, his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck, died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.
What're they doing?
Billy Peltzer They're watching Snow White. And they love it.
Honey, this is the gentleman who sold me the Mogwai.
"Sold". An interesting choice of words. You have taught Mogwai to watch television?! I warned you - with Mogwai comes much responsibility. But you didn't listen! And you see what happens?
Hey look, I didn't mean it.
You deal with Mogwai just like your society deals with all of nature's gifts! You do not understand! You are not ready.
He has something to say to you.
Billy Peltzer You mean you understand what he's saying?
To hear, one has only to listen.
Bye Billy!
Perhaps one day, you will be ready. Until then, Mogwai will be waiting.
Sir, before you go, I want you to know I am truly sorry for all this. I want to offer you this. There's one. There's one other one but it's an invention of mine.
Ah, smokeless ashtray.
How did you know?
Man at gas station try to sell me. Latest word in technology. Very generous of you. I'm sure it will come in handy.
Bye bye, bark bark woof woof.
