Gremlins 1984 quotes

18 quotes · 5 characters
Gremlins (1984) poster
Characters
Billy Peltzer Zach Galligan · 7 quotes
Randall Peltzer Hoyt Axton · 5 quotes
Kate Phoebe Cates · 3 quotes
Sheriff Frank Scott Brady · 3 quotes

Most scenes together: Deputy Brent & Sheriff Frank (3), Randall Peltzer & Billy Peltzer (2), Billy Peltzer & Deputy Brent (2)

Gremlins quotes

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Chinese Boy

Keep him out of the light. He hates bright light. Especially sunlight - it'll kill him. And keep him away from water. Don't get him wet. But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget - no matter how much he cries, or how much he begs, never, never feed him after midnight.

Murray Futterman

Goddamn foreign TV. I told ya, we should've got a Zenith!

Rockin' Ricky Rialto
[as Pete tries to tell him about the Gremlins]

Kid, this is Christmas, not Halloween! Listen, gang. Rockin' Ricky's getting fed up with all this Orson Welles crap, so cool it, will ya?! [crashing is heard] What's that? Kitty, what's that, I said? Some of Rockin' Ricky's fans? [a Gremlin is heard cackling] Hey, you're not a Rockin' Ricky fan! [screams]

Rocking Ricky Rialto

Hey, gang, It's been a rough night for Rockin' Ricky, but he's still on the air!

Gerald

If it isn't Captain Clip-on! Guess who almost filed for unemployment today?

I give up.

Gerald

You! But Mr. Corben had other ideas. He gets so sentimental around the holidays. I would've fired you in a heartbeat.

And a merry Christmas to you too. Excuse me, Mr. Jones.

Now I have another reason to hate Christmas.

Kate, what are you talking about?

The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were, were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. Couple hours went by, Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So, the police began a search. 4 or 5 days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so, I went to try to light up the fire. And that's when I noticed the smell. Firemen came and broke through the chimney top, and me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird, and instead, they pulled out my father. [Gizmo gasps in shock] He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve, his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck, died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

Murry Futterman
[drunk, looking inside his car]

Gremlins... [turning to Billy and Kate] You got-you gotta watch out for them forgeiners cuz they plant gremlins in their machinery. [climbs inside the car] It's the same gremlins that brought down our planes in the big one.

[laughing]

The big one...

Murry Futterman
[turning round]

That's right! World War Two! [salutes] Good old WWII. [tries to start his car] Y'know, they're still shippin' 'em over here... They put 'em in cars, they put 'em in yer TV, they put 'em in stereos and those little radios you stick in your ears. They even put 'em in watches, they have teeny gremlins for our watches!

[after seeing the Mogwai]

I've got to have him! He's incredible. I'll give you $100 for it.

Mr. Wing

No.

Look, I've got to have it. It's a present for my son for Christmas. It's exactly what I've been looking for and I've been everywhere. I'll give you $200 for it. That's $200!

Mr. Wing

I'm sorry. Mogwai not for sale.

I thought you said everything at your grandfather's store was for sale.

Chinese Boy

Grandfather!

Mr. Wing

With Mogwai comes much responsibility. I cannot sell him at any price.

Billy, you're familiar with the Bathroom Buddy? I have made an improvement. Now, let's say, you're about to walk into a big meeting. It's very important. You reach up and you forgot to shave. Now what do you do? Under normal circumstances, you are in trouble! But not if you have the Bathroom Buddy. Now watch [produces a shaver] Voila! What do you think?

That's pretty neat. What does this button do?

No, don't touch it!

[Billy sprays shaving cream in his father's face]

Sorry dad.

No, it's okay.

No, I'm really sorry.

It's not your fault. I was going to get to that. I'll fix it tomorrow.

My god, Frye, that was Mrs. Deagle.

[A gremlin under the police car pulls out the brake wire from the car. Meanwhile a Santa Claus comes out of his house attacked by gremlins.]

Jesus, Frank, that's Dave Morris! He does Santa every year!

Yeah, but what the hell is he doing now? What's that stuff he's got all over him?!

Tell me something, Billy. How does a cute little creature like this turn into a thousand ugly monsters?

Well, this is before it enters the pupal stage.

The pupal stage?

Yeah, right. Plus it multiplies with water.

Aw, Christ!

Brent, why don't you give the kid some water?

I wouldn't do that, sheriff.

[The phone rings. The sheriff answers it]

Sheriff's office. Yeah, speaking... What?... Oh no... Yeah, we'll be right over.

Who was that?

The Futtermans. Something about a snowplow, a freak accident...

It's the creatures! The creatures are making it look like an accident! Sheriff! WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?!

Sherriff Frank

You listen to me, kid! Go on home, take little Gizmo, sit by the fire and open your Christmas presents, okay? Atta boy!

[as he and Frank leave]

Let me drive.

No, you're drunk.

You always get to drive!

Cause I'm the sheriff, asshole!