Aldous
Good morning, beautiful. Fancy an orgasm? 'Cause I knock them out, like, for free.
Jackie
I told you not to come here.
Aldous
It just happened.
Jackie
Get in here, Aldous.
Aldous
Don't be so violent.
...
Jackie
I gotta stop now. We're done. All right. [Aldous takes off blanket]
Aldous
Hey. Steady! That's not fair. I haven't finished. I got a busy day!
Jackie
What, you want to have a wank and then just rub my tits or something?
Aldous
No, I don't want to.
Jackie
Please?
Aldous
I'm not 12.
Jackie
Please?
Aldous
I don't want to rub your tits and wank.
Jackie
I'll tell you a sexy story.
Aldous
Jackie! Darling. That's not fair. That's not equal. Reason within.
Jackie
What about a BJ? Just a quick one.
Aldous
Will you do my balls as well?
Jackie
Yeah, ****, all right.
Aldous
Will you put your fingers up my bottom?
Jackie
All right, yeah. Later. What are you even doing here, Aldous? Why are you in LA?
Aldous
I'm here because I've been thinking about you the last few days. I want to be with you, Jackie. I know that now.
Jackie
You on a Jeffrey?
Aldous
Yeah.
Aldous
I'm not partying anymore. I'm in a clean zone. I have been for a while.
Jackie
Well, that's perfect, because... I'm actually a different person. A very different person.
Aldous
I want to be clean with you. You're the love of my life.
Jackie
Aldous, I've been doing kabbalah. It's an ancient religion. It's brought to light all the mistakes that I've made. For all those mistakes, I am sorry.
Aldous
Don't be sorry. Let's get married. I love you.
Jackie
Yeah, and I was going to get married, but then you went to rehab for methamphetamine, I was taking a lot of E, and we had to reschedule.
Aldous
Come off, 'cause that's not important.
Jackie
Aldous! This has been the best four months of my life. I've realized you aren't capable of happiness. It's why your music's so shit. It's been years since I've seen you laugh or cry in a real way. You just numb yourself with drugs.
Aldous
I was clean for seven years...
Jackie
And you did yoga for five **** hours a day! That's mental. There's nothing in this world that you can't turn into heroin. The other day, Lars cried for three hours.
Aldous
Bit indulgent.
Jackie
It was beautiful! And cleansing! And more intimate than anything you and I have ever shared.
Aldous
We share a son. That is a bit more intimate than a crying drummer.
Jackie
Naples is not your son.
Aldous
Yes, he is. Yes, he... Jackie, why... Don't say things like that in an argument, 'cause, like, you can't come back from that. That's horrible.
Jackie
He's not. Do you remember that photographer, Fernando? Do you remember when Fernando and I went and spent that month together in Naples? I'm so sorry, Aldous. I was 19 at the time, and I was so in love with you, and I thought you would break it off with me, and then you turned out to be such a good father. And then he just kept looking more and more Italian. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so glad we finally got to have this conversation, darling. Namaste.
Aldous
This is not an appropriate time to say namaste.
...
Aldous
Yeah. Naples?
Naples
Yeah?
Aldous
One day you'll have to find a wife or a partner.
Naples
Yeah, I know that.
Aldous
Don't choose a woman like your mother.
Naples
What do you mean?
Aldous
I mean, your mother is a wonderful mother, but she is a terrible human being.
Naples
Are you sure of that?
Aldous
Well, yeah, because if she wasn't terrible, Naples, why would she have torn my heart up?
Naples
Why are you so moody today?
Aldous
I'm not moody. I'm just... I'm all right. Do you love me?
Naples
I do love you, Dad. I do love you, Aldous. Why do I have to call you Aldous? You are my dad. Aldous. Dad. Aldous. Dad.
Aldous
Right. I'll see you later. [They hug]
Naples
See you tomorrow, Dad.
Aldous
Good boy.
...
Naples
You gonna be okay, Aldous?
Aldous
Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. I'll forget that the last seven years has happened.
Aldous!
Aldous
Hello. Enter Sandman.
Babe? We should really get back to Naples. He's waiting back there for us.
Aldous
So why don't you go and sue Napster, you little Danish twat?
