TG Tour Guide Tracy
[Inside Lactose Farms, a tour is going on.]
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the one, the only Lactose Farms! If you will all gather around me, we’ll begin our tour and head into the heart of the farm.
[She carefully watches surveillance footage for any robbers.]
I know you’re here. I can feel it. Show yourself.
TG Tour Guide Tracy
[Back in the tour...]
Today, you will discover the answers to all of your dairy questions. Including the most-asked dairy question of all time, “Are curds the way?”
[We see Garfield, Odie, and Vic going incognito as backpacks.] [on com]
Bullfrog, Chipmunk, Roadkill, do you copy?
Are you kidding me? They actually work? You should take this to Shark Tank.
[on com]
Now remember, the only way to get the keys to the milk truck and free Ethel undetected is by sneaking to the path I’ve mapped out for you. If you deviate from that path, you will trigger security and all bets are off. Understood? Alright, look alive. The electrical answers door should be coming up on your left.
TG Tour Guide Tracy
[offscreen]
Okay, this way.
[He spots the door to the electrical room.]
Hey, look! There it is!
[The three animals sneak off to the electrical room without being spotted.] [on com]
Okay, we’re in.
[on com]
Continue through and locate the air vent at the end of the hallway. That will take you to the refrigeration room.
PA PA Announcer
[They spot the air vent at the end of the hallway.] [via intercom]
Factory workers, your 15-minute break begins now.
GV Garfield, Vic, Odie
Ah!
[They run off as employees come out the door. They walk past a janitor, not knowing it’s actually Vic, Garfield, and Odie.]
Blech! Ugh, your feet need a deep rinse!
[They remove the disguise and open the air vent. Odie and Vic get in, but Garfield gets stuck in between.]
What’s the hold up, Junior?
How did you get through this? You’re bigger than me!
[his stomach gurgles]
Am I?
Well, the vent don’t agree. Try sucking in your gut! [He and Odie start pulling at Garfield.]
Try sucking in your butt and your gut!
[They pull Garfield off and they end up sliding down three separate paths. Soon, Garfield falls on the vent and plops down in the middle of a big platform. Vic and Odie arrive nearby.] [on com]
Bullfrog, what’s happening now?
We fell out of a vent, into a room that looks like it was full of heavy machinery.
[on com]
Son of a cud. You’re in the pinecone.
[She spots Garfield in the security footage.]
Jiminy Davis! The perp is a cat, and this one looks like it could eat us out of business!
[Cut back to the animals, Garfield spots the loading dock in the distance.]
Oh, Vic, Vic! Look! There’s the loading dock!
We’re in the middle of the pinecone! Otto told us to stay out of the pinecone!
Oh, stop. There’s no pinecone. Otto’s a bit of a worrywart. I can walk to the loading dock from here. [He tries to walk, but the floor opens beneath his feet, and he falls in.] AAH!
[Then, he rises out on top of a big slice of cheddar cheese, eating part of it.]
Mmm. Oh, cheddar. Probably one of my top 26 favorite cheeses. [Vic stares at Odie, who shrugs. He notices a timer ticking down.] What do you think happens when that gets to zero?
[It hits zero and the cheddar cheese is moved out with Garfield on it!]
AAAH!
[on com]
Bullfrog, what’s happening now?!
[on com]
Roadkill got carried away to the pinecone!
[on com]
Listen to me. You have to carry on with the mission. Get to the loading dock before the workers return from their break or you’ll miss your only chance to get that truck.
[As he rides down the cheddar cheese...]
No, no, no, ah! [It gets onto a grater slide.]
C Computer
Shred sequence initiated.
[The cheddar cheese slides down, shredding bit by bit by the grater slide. Odie barking]
Odie! Thanks, buddy, but I’m already full from the cheddar. [Odie barks to Garfield to jump off the cheddar he’s on.] Oh, jump off? Good idea! [He jumps off and grabs onto another piece of cheese hanging next to Odie.]
[However, Garfield’s cheese piece is moving away from Odie's.]
Uh, hang on. Wait, where am I going? [He spots a sign saying, "FONDUE AREA".] Fondue?? [He sees approaching some giant pots of boiling melted cheese!] Oh, no! [He tries to get away by jumping from cheese block to cheese block.]
[Odie barks in fear before spotting some cheese sticks being made. He grabs one and peels it to make rope. Garfield falls and is about to enter the hot fondue, but Odie lassos his friend away. However, Garfield ends up on a big block of butter. Knives drop down to cut it and Garfield dodges the blades. Odie rushes over to grab Garfield, but they're about to be cut by the blades.]
Junior! [As the two dodge the knives, Vic jumps to the rescue. He walks across some steamy fondue, bounces off a hot pot, and walks on more fondue. Just as the knives prepare to chop up Garfield and Odie...] Junior! [...he jumps in and saves them as the blades come down. As they pant, Vic holds up his severed tail.] That was too close even for me.
I couldn’t let you have all the fun.
PA PA Announcer
[via intercom]
Workers, your break ends in 5 minutes.
[Later, Otto draws up a plan on the ground.]
Now pay attention. Here’s the perimeter of the plant and here are the two places you need to go. First, the truck with your milk is back here. And this delicate buttercup is my Ethel. My north star and reason for living is being kept by those barbarians in...a petting zoo. Located here. This cricket represents the electrical room. This snail, the refrigeration room. This toadstool is the loading dock, where you’ll find the keys to the trucks. [He sets a pinecone in the middle of the square.]
Hey, what’s the pinecone?
The pinecone is the cheese and butter room.
Ooh, [As he rubbing his tummy] cheese is my love language.
Now, for this briefing, I’ve done a quick reading of your personalities and have chosen tokens to represent each of you. [points to Vic] You are the majestic bullfrog. [A bullfrog appears, croaking.]
Oh, yeah. That feels right.
[points to Odie]
You are the curious and clever chipmunk. [A chipmunk appears; points to Garfield] And you...
[He sets down a roadkill opossum.]
...are roadkill.
Huh? What? Oh. [laughs] No, I get it. That’s a good one, Otto. Giving your new best friend roadkill. [pokes at the possum with a stick] Seriously though. What’s my real token?
That is your real token. Now, if you have any chance of...
Excuse me. Can I switch to something living like a snail or a cricket?
You should’ve spoken up sooner. At this point, it would be too confusing to switch.
Sooner? But you just told me this five seconds ago.
Come on, Roadkill. Focus.
Oh, really? You give Vic the majestic bullfrog, you give Odie the curious and clever chipmunk, and then you give me, your new BFF, roadkill? I mean, it feels disrespectful, not gonna lie.
What makes you think he’s dead?
My eyes. I have eyes and can see.
It’s a possum. They’re masters at playing dead.
Well, then little Daniel Day Possum here should do Shakespeare in the Park.
Things aren’t always what they seem.
You’re right. But in this case, they are.
What’s the big deal? Possums play dead.
Oh, do they, Otto? Do they play dead? Do possums play possum? Is that what they do?
Yes. Possums are very clever.
Well, I’m sure he was until the day he ate a pick-up truck.
Uh, just ignore him. Please continue. I’ll just put this back where you had it.
The straightest line to the loading dock is through the snail here. Then the cricket there. Cut through the toadstool and armed to the rock. Each of these rooms have their own set of unique challenges.
Well, why can’t we go straight through the pinecone?
You don’t want to go through the pinecone.
Looks like the straightest shot is through the pinecone.
You like walking with those feet, do you? You a fan of unimaginable pain and misery? Then go through the pinecone.
Stay away from the pinecone. [clicks tongue] Got it.
Once you’re inside the facility...[Cut to a 2D-animated rundown of the plan as the Mission: Impossible theme plays. Voiceover] You will enter the electrical room. There you will locate the air vent. Pop the grate and climb up. Then you'll crawl through a maze of vents and drop down to the refrigeration room. Next, you will need to hurl your body over a 30-foot drop to a series of hand rungs. You'll propel yourselves hand over hand and drop down directly into a loading dock. From there, you'll locate the keys to the milk truck. Drive that truck to the west pasture of the complex, cut the lock on the gate, and find the closest thing we have to an angel here on earth. You'll escort my sweet Ethel onto the truck and drive her to freedom. [Cut back to reality] It’s going to take mad skills to get that milk and free my dear sweet Ethel. [refers to Odie] Clearly, this one’s qualified for the mission. [refers to Garfield] But I have some serious doubts here about all of...this.
He’s pointing to you, Roadkill.
[The others leave and Garfield pokes the opossum with the stick.]
Stupid roadkill.
R Roadkill
[Suddenly, the possum springs to life and grabs the stick.]
Hey! [whacks Garfield with the stick] I’m working here! [resumes playing dead]
[groans]
Definitely a Monday.
[Odie leads the injured Garfield and Vic to rest by a tree.]
Can’t believe I’m out in the middle of nowhere getting beaten up against my will by a former celebrity steer.
Odie, can you tell my son to please stop whining?
Odie, can you tell Vic that I collapsed on this tree first and that he needs to find another one?
Odie, can you tell my son that I’ll gladly find another one when I get the feeling back in my leg?
Odie, can you tell my father that he wouldn’t be lying in pain if he led a better life and didn’t create problems for himself?
Could you please inform my son that he should focus on fixing his own issues?
Odie...[He notices that Odie has tied both him and Vic to the tree with vines while they were arguing.] Odie, what’d you do? [Odie harrumphs and walks away.] After all I’ve let you do for me.
What is this? [He tugs on a vine, springing Garfield's foot up. Garfield moves his foot on the vine, making Vic's hand smack himself.] Hey, watch it!
[He snickers. Vic pulls on the vine to make Garfield smack his hand on his own face.]
What’s the problem, Vic? Is this bothering you? [He proceeds to tug the vines to make Vic hit himself.]
[strained; angry]
No. In fact, I don't mind it at all! [He moves the vines in a boxing motion, making Garfield punch himself.]
[Vic and Garfield pull at the vines to hurt each other.]
OW!
Ah!
Vic/Garfield: Ow! Oh! Ow! Ah! Ugh! Ouch! Ah! Ow! Ugh! Ah!
[Odie and Otto are seen sitting on a branch, with the former eating popcorn.]
I could watch this all day.
[Back on Garfield and Vic, they try to get out of the vines.]
Stop pulling!
If I was pulling, you knew it! [grunting] Why does everything you do always end up hurting me?!
Hurt you?! All I ever did was try to help you!
Oh, you sure? Cause every time you're around, it ends up with me in pain. [as he get hit by a branch] Ow! Odie, these ropes are not funny anymore...[as he get hit by a branch again]...OW!
[Odie and Otto fist-bump.]
Maybe, if you were a little more open to seeing me, things might be better between us.
Oh, you do remember you were the one who left me in an alley, right?
You don't know what you're talking about!
[clears throat]
Then please enlighten me.
[Vic sighs in sadness. On Otto and Odie...]
This is about to get real.
[Back on Garfield and Vic...]
Oh, that's right. You're normally never around to actually defend yourself. No back door to slink out of this time. First, you abandoned me. Years later, you pulled me into a life of crime. Well, classic "Father of the Year" stuff, Dad. You know why would I ever think that seeing you could be anything other than a train wreck?!
[enraged]
I DID NOT LEAVE YOU IN THAT ALLEY!
[bitterly]
Oh, you did! You told me you'd come right back. You never did!
[solemnly]
No! That is not what happened.
Oh, please! You're probably on the run from someone like Jinx and I was in the way.
No...No, that...that night...[sighs] That night was different...
FM Fish Market Worker
[In a flashback, Vic sits by a bookstore called "Jim's Comic Books" while cradling Garfield, as a kitten, as people walk past them. Garfield's stomach grumbles. Vic spots a fish market across the street. They approach it, and stare at the fish.]
Hey! Shoo, shoo! Get out of here!
[The worker chases them out. Vic runs off, then sees a hot dog stand. However, an angry dog growls at them. Vic quickly retreats down an alley, then stops by a dumpster with the wooden crate from the beginning of the film. Vic spots a food worker coming out of a restaurant to dump out garbage before re-entering. Vic looks over his shoulder, then places Garfield in the crate while petting his head.]
Wait here, Junior. I’ll be right back. [approaches the garbage can, only to be scared off by the worker]
FW Food Worker
Hey, get out of here! [Vic waits by as the food worker talks on his phone; on phone] Hey, how are you doing? Yeah, yeah. Ah, I had to shoo a cat. Yeah, yeah. Digging in the trash. Yeah. So what you up to now, huh? Still taking it easy? Uh-huh. Yeah. [Time passes. It’s raining, but the worker is still on the phone; on phone] Oh, no, you're kidding. Really? [chuckles] Oh, yeah, yeah. It's been raining here for a while now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll see you then. OK, bye.
[The worker goes back in the building. Vic comes over to find a sardine in the trash can. He grabs the lid as a dish, and runs back to the crate where Garfield was, only to find out that he'd disappeared. He looks around until he finds Garfield in Mamma Leoni's with Jon. Vic narrows his eyes as he walks over to the window. Through the window, Jon holds out a finger which Garfield waves his paws at. Vic watches Jon feed Garfield a slice of pizza. He looks over at the sardine on the lid, then looks sadly over at his son, who nuzzles with Jon. Dropping the lid, Vic smiles warmly, then looks alarmed as Jon chases Garfield around the restaurant. He then runs off to hide. Jon exits with the take-out box. The lid pops open, revealing Garfield, who looks up and down the street, seeing that there's no sign of Vic. As he stares sadly, he then smiles at Jon, who smiles back at him. Vic comes out from behind a mailbox to watch Garfield kissing Jon on his nose, then nuzzles him. Vic watches sadly as Jon leaves with Garfield. He ducks down behind the mailbox with a sad expression. In the present, Garfield stares wide-eyed about what happened.]
[shocked]
I… I never knew.
Why didn't you ever come visit me?
I did. A million times I… came to knock on your door, and I'd see what a great life you've had with Jon. So, I just...thought it would be better if I kept my distance.
[appears before Garfield and Vic]
I sense a positive breakthrough in your relationship, am I wrong? [Vic shakes his head.] Good. After an extensive evaluation, I have concluded that you two are, in fact, ready to move forward with this mission.
How is that even possible?
[Odie cuts down the vines with a pair of scissors.]
Mathematically, it isn’t. But given your present levels of incompetence and overall lack of basic skills...
I have determined it would take roughly...17 years to get you both properly ready for this job. And since we have..less than 48 hours, you passed. Congratulations.
[Odie shakes their hands and hugs Garfield. Up in the tree, Roland and Nolan are spying on them while disguised as birds.]
[On the next day, Garfield walks up to Jon, who is sleeping in bed.]
Wakie, wakie, eggs and bakey! [lies down on Jon’s face] Good morning!
[In the kitchen, Jon puts some vegetables in a blender. As Odie barks for Jon to pet him each time, Garfield secretly puts in some bacon, a T-bone steak, three pizza slices, two pies, and a piece of cake in the blender. Jon closes the lid, and starts blending. Garfield walks on the ceiling, and opens his mouth. The blender shakes and smoothie bursts out, shocking Jon and Odie. Garfield lands down on the counter, having eaten the smoothie. Cut to Jon reading Romeo and Juliet until Odie pushes in Garfield with a fancy chair.]
What? Where’d you get that chair?
RC Rom-Com Woman
[Garfield presses a red button on the arm and the chair becomes a recliner with stereo systems. Odie brings in a tray of food and a TV. The TV set shows Catflix, a streaming service that shows cat videos. One shows a cat playing the piano. Jon is in confusion while Garfield eats some popcorn. Suddenly, the channel switches to a romantic comedy film.] [on TV]
I think I was meant to be here tonight because I was meant to meet you.
RC Rom-Com Man
[on TV]
I think we were meant to be.
RC Rom-Com Woman
[on TV]
That’s what I meant to say.
RC Rom-Com Man
[on TV]
You had me at the word “meant.” [they both kiss]
FB Fitness Bike Instructor
[Garfield sees that Odie has the remote. Jon and Odie cry some tears of joy at the scene while Garfield is not amused. Cut to Jon riding a fitness bike.] [on phone]
We're going to ride like the wind! Faster! Harder! More exciting!
[Jon pedals faster and faster until he slumps over, exhausted. Garfield comes in and puts a slice of pepperoni pizza in Jon’s mouth.]
Odie! Yeah, can you put this back to normal? [to Jon] There you go. Just let the pepperoni’s healing powers work its magic.
[Odie hangs some shirts on the fitness bike. Then, Jon is asleep by his drawing board. Garfield points at this then rolls Jon over to bed. He positions him right, puts a blanket over him, adds an eye mask and Sony headphones, and gives him Pooky. As Garfield leaves, he sees Odie having watched him rest his owner.]
You saw nothing. [jumps off the bed as Odie sleeps with Jon, he turns off the light]
[Soon, Garfield and Odie are back home!]
That’s right! I’m back, baby! [rushes over to his favorite chair] I was just talking about you, wasn’t I? [presses the button to put it in recliner mode] Oh, I’ve missed you, too. [turns on the TV to watch Catflix, then rushes over to Pooky and his bed] Pooky! I have a lot to tell you. You’re never gonna believe it. Crazy stuff happened. I slept outside twice! I know. Oh, and I made you this commemorative pin. [gets out a pin and puts it on Pooky]
Talk later! [kisses Pooky and runs off]
[Garfield gets on the stair railing, slides down, jumps off, and floats down with an umbrella. He dances over to the dinner table, where Jon serves up lasagna for dinner. Garfield takes in the smell and Jon grates cheese on top of the food.]
Say when?
Never, Jon! Bury me in cheese!
I have two more in the freezer. Let me know when you want them. [timer dings] I’m gonna go check on dessert. [runs off to check on dessert]
Oh, I apologize in advance. [gets out a fork and a knife] The eating you are about to see will not be pretty. And if you have young children, this would be a good time for them to leave the room.
O Olivia
[Garfield prepares to dig in until he notices a giant oak tree across the house.] [voiceover]
He’d just sit across the street from his kid’s house in a giant oak tree.
[He gets up from his seat and walks away. His stomach growls and tries to steer him back to the table.]
I know, I know. We’re coming back. [his stomach growls.] I just need to check something out first. [He leaves the house and walks to the oak tree, causing a bit of traffic along the way.]
S Snickers
[voiceover]
He put a notch in the bark. Every time he was there.
[He climbs up the tree and looks around for a notch.]
He left a notch. [sighs] Yeah, right. [He looks up to see one notch followed by tons of notches scratched everywhere on the tree.] He was here. He saw me grow up.
[Odie barks from below and Garfield uses his claws to slide down the tree.]
Oh. Ow. Wow. That really stings. I don’t know why I didn’t think it would. Give me a second. [gets off the tree and hugs Odie] Vic loves us! Me first, of course, but then you too, but me a lot. At first. [Odie scoffs.] Wait, wait, wait, wait, but if he loves me, us, why would he let me, us, get captured at the dairy? Unless...[gasps] he wanted us to get captured! [As he walks down the street, he causes more traffic.]
Yes! He knew that Jinx wasn’t going to let him off the hook, but if we got caught, we get sent to the pound, and Jon would come and get us! [Odie gets him off the road.] Don’t you see, Odie? He was trying to save us!
D Driver
[offscreen]
Losers!
We have to go save my dad.
[Back in the kitchen, Jon wheels in a big candy volcano.]
And here’s your favorite dessert, Mount Candy-toa! [notices they’re gone] Uh, guys? [He sees the two pets leaving and the volcano erupts, covering the entire kitchen and himself in candy.] Oh, come on!
[The next morning, Garfield, Odie, and Vic arrive at Jon’s house.]
Uh...[sighs] Well, this is us.
Right. Your home. I just..
I just wanted to say I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. What are you sorry for?
Oh. Well, thanks. Well, I just wanted to apologize to you for…
Everything bad that happened to us the last three days?
You know, you had your hand in a few bad decisions back there, too, but...[sighs] Yeah, I’m sorry for dragging you into my world. This is where you belong here. Here with Jon and...[to Odie] what’s your name again? Odor?
Huh?! [growls then pants happily before hugging Vic]
Yeah, yeah. I mean, unless you want to come in.
I don’t know. I don’t think that would work. I’m...I’m an outdoor cat.
Right. Sure, sure. No, I just...I figured...
No, no, no, I get it. But you know, I got this thing on the other side of town I gotta go do, so...
No, I’m very busy, too. Yeah.
You know where to find me.
In the kitchen. Well, take care. And remember, [imitates Otto] stay out of the pinecone. [He leaves the two alone and Odie barks at Garfield.]
What? You heard him. It’s for the best.
[They go inside the house and reunite with their owner.]
Oh, you’re back! What is going on? Are you okay? I was so worried! I was gonna add more locks to the door. You know, try to keep you in, but then I thought, well, what if they wanted to be outdoor pets? Do you want to be free range? [They shake their heads “no”. Sighs in relief] I really missed you, guys, and I gotta say it’s great to be together again, the whole entire family. You have no idea what the last few days have been like: phone calls and hold times and tears...
[As Jon talks, Odie barks to Garfield.]
Don’t give me that. I asked him to stay. [Odie grumbles.] He wanted to leave. [Odie groans.] You heard him. He said he had to...[Odie growls.] Well, I-I...[Odie growls again; groans] Fine. I’ll be right back. [He heads out of the house.]
Wait! Wait! What?! Am I using trigger words that I’m not aware of? [Odie pats his shoulder.]
[In outside, Garfield running far away and he stops and he look sideways of the neighbourhood, and then Garfield approaches the oak tree where his father is.]
So, you coming in or do we have to bring food up there to you?
I’ll come to you. I just need to finish something up here. [He comes down, Garfield hugs him in embrace, and they head back to the house.]
You know, those notches show how much you love me.
Is that what you think of me?
Nah, I was just counting how many slices of lasagna you ate.
[The next morning, Garfield, Vic, and Odie are ready for training.]
Alright, gentlemen, I’ve made a list of skills that you’ll need to master in order to break into Lactose Farms. Number one, develop lightning-fast reflexes.
You tell Garfield there's a plate of pasta on the other side of the wall, and you will see lightning reflexes.
Yeah, no, no, no. Depends what kind of possum.
[holds out a pebble]
This pebble represents danger you may encounter. You need to grab it, before it grabs you.
Snatch the pebble from my hand. [Garfield tries to grab the pebble, but Otto moves it away.] Too slow! [He whacks Garfield with his horn.]
Being able to grab the pebble could be the difference between life and death.
Alright, let me try that again. [grabs the pebble] Ha! Got it! [Otto whacks him again.] What was that for?!
It’s never just about the pebble.
Come on, Junior. Everyone knows that.
Your head’s got to be on a swivel at all times.
You gotta be ready for anything.
I was ready! He changed the game!
Sounds like someone’s making excuses. [Otto rolls a boulder, and it collides with him, flattening him like a pancake.]
And what was that about being ready for anything?
[pops back to normal]
You were distracting me!
Might I suggest putting your head on a swivel?
You should've seen that coming! [as he hits Garfield and Vic…] Toes on the line! Watch your grip! Cover your side! There are surprises around every corner at Lactose Farms. You need to stay alert. [squishes Garfield and Vic from above] Too slow! A baby could've seen that coming. Too slow! Too slow! Too slow!
[As this goes on, Odie gets out a chair and sits down while drinking soda.]
You'll never make it through Lactose Farms if you can't survive this training. [He throws tree stumps as Garfield and Vic try to dodge them.]
What kind of dairy is this?!
The kind of dairy that requires teamwork to survive. Danger could be anywhere gentlemen. You gotta be ready to outrun it! [He lifts up a big tree and charges toward them. Garfield and Vic run away.] Here comes the pain!
Left, right, left, right.
You’re confusing me!
[They trip and tumble downhill, sliding on some mud, through the prickly field, jumping into a curvy looped log before coming right out of it, then getting their heads slammed on a beehive, breaking it before seeing their faces covered in bees. Garfield and Vic scream when sliding down. When they slide by some sleeping rabbits, a mother shushes them as the cats cover their mouths from each other. Once they’re past the rabbits, they scream again before crashing into a tree.]
I think I'm gonna need a wring-out.
[The tree falls and crushes them. Otto and Odie approach them.] [to Odie; sighs]
If this is going to work, these two have to be on the same page. I’m out of ideas. You got any?
[Odie gives him a thumbs-up.]
[The scene starts off on a phone screen, showing an image of Garfield, a grumpy, frowning, orange tabby cat, and his owner, Jon Arbuckle, wearing sweaters with their faces on them.] [first lines; offscreen]
OK, it's time to eat. [types in the password 061978 on the phone, unlocking it] Let's see, open the app. [opens the Mamma Leoni’s app to make his order] I’m gonna get a double pepperoni pizza, uh, an order of breadsticks, and...Well, lasagna. Yeah. Ooh! A new item alert? Jalapeño breadstick quick bites. Huh. It might be nice to add something in the salad family. And do I want dessert? Oooh! [chuckles] I’m gonna be naughty! Butterscotch budino. OK, I’m gonna have five. [The app screen slides to the side to show the orange tabby cat himself.] Delivery? Goes without saying...[hits NOW] now, please.
Mamma Leoni's App: Mama mia!
Alright. That oughta hold me 'til breakfast. [notices the audience] Oh, hey! Are you guys early or am I late? No matter. I have got a real treat for you today. [Odie, a yellow dog with brown ears and Garfield's friend, jumps and barks excitedly.] No, not a treat for you. [Odie whines sadly; sighs] OK. [He gives Odie a biscuit and he eats it before licking him happily, much to his disgust.] Anyway, about that treat...[pushes Odie down] Can I just say, you will not be disappointed. [laughs] It’s a story about me...[the doorbell rings.]...that no one’s ever heard before featuring someone in my life you’ve never met. I don’t know about you, but color me intrigued. [A drone enters the house, delivering Garfield’s order.] Oh ho yeah! Drone delivery. Welcome to the future. [opens the box for his double pepperoni pizza] You know, to really understand everything, I’m gonna have to take you back to where it all began. [notices a small basil on his pizza] Don’t want anything to take away from the flavour of cheese. [flicks it off, stretches his mouth open, places the pizza in, and munches down] And like every great story, it all started... [He moves his mouth in a sucking position near his drink. Odie tips the cup to Garfield’s mouth and Garfield sips his drink.] ...on a dark and stormy night.
[Odie holds up a cardboard thunderstorm cloud and mimics thunder and lightning. Cut to black. In a flashback, a silhouetted cat looks over at something.]
Wait here, Junior. I'll be right back.
[Garfield, as a kitten, looks up at the silhouetted cat, who walks away, then hides. Garfield, sitting in a crate, reaches out with his little paws as if motioning for the cat to not leave him. Moments later, rain pours. Garfield looks over the side, seeing that the cat isn't coming back. He jumps back in fear as he hears various noises, then covers his face protectively. Suddenly, he sniffs the air, then spots an Italian restaurant called Mamma Leoni’s across the street. Garfield watches as Vito, through the window, holding two steaming pizzas on trays. Jon sits alone on a table. Garfield glances over the path where the cat went, then runs out of the crate. He crosses the street towards the restaurant as three cars pass by, narrowly missing him. Reaching the window, Garfield sniffs the air again. Inside, Jon sits at his table as Vito serves him pepperoni pizza. Grabbing a slice, he sees one family playing Heads Up on their phone.]
[A girl feeds her brother, Jake, a meatball. Jon smiles, then frowns and sighs sadly. He sets his head on his hand. He opens his mouth to take a bite of the slice, then gets startled when a thud is heard. Garfield, with his face pressed against the window, stares at the pizza, then pulls it back as Jon stares at him.]
Aww! [leans in, then holds out a finger] Hi there, little buddy! Hi! [Garfield paws at his finger, then looks over at the pizza and licks the glass. Jon glances over to see no one coming, then secretly opens the window to let Garfield in. Garfield, despite his small size, hops into his hand. As the duo stare at each other, Garfield licks his cheek as Jon chuckles, then rubs his back on his chin while purring. Jon sets his little friend on the table beside the pizza.] Are you hungry, little guy? [As Garfield nods in agreement, Jon feeds him a pepperoni, then chuckles and offers another.] Do you want a little more? [Suddenly, Garfield quickly eats the entire pizza, then the slice that Jon was about to eat, then finally eats the pepperoni.] Whoa! You are a hungry little guy. [sees Vito coming, then grabs a menu, hiding Garfield behind it]
V Vito
That was a quick dinner, Signore Jon. You must’ve been very hungry. [chuckles as Garfield peeks out from under Jon's wrist, but Jon himself pushes him back behind the menu] Can I bring you anything else?
Uh, yes. [looks at the menu as Garfield rubs his paw on a picture of a single piece of lasagna]
M Musician
[offscreen]
Grazie! Grazie! Thank you very much!
V Vito
Si. Lasagna for one.
Uh, yeah. [looks at the menu again as Garfield points to a picture of a 6-piece family-styled lasagna] You know what? No. Uh, make it family-style.
[as Vito walks away]
To go, please, Vito.
M Musician
[offscreen]
Okay! Everybody! You all know this one!
[lifts the menu to find Garfield gone]
Huh? What? Where'd he go? [he spots Garfield slurping spaghetti and meatballs as a birthday party commences.]
P Patrons
[offscreen]
Hey!
M Musician
[offscreen]
Stand up and sing. Join us.
Oh, no! ["Tarantella Napoletana" plays as he moves through the crowd.] Oh, no. Excuse me. Pardon me. [He moves under another table, and tries to grab Garfield, but finds marinara sauce on his fingers. He notices Garfield eating cookies. As he goes to eat a slice of pizza, Jon grabs him, still on the plate, and hides him behind his back as Vito walks by with a big birthday cake. Once Vito is gone, Jon pulls out the plate from behind his back, but once again, Garfield has disappeared. He spots him walking through the birthday cake with a big bite on it. Jon scrambles on all fours to search for him.]
M Maria
[offscreen]
Jon! Take-out for Jon! [As Jon looks around, Maria comes in with a to-go box for Jon.] Your take-out is ready, Signore Jon.
M Maria
One familia-style lasagna to go! [opens the box, revealing Garfield eating on the top middle of the family-style lasagna] You eat alone too much, Jon.
M Maria
You should get on the dating apps.
M Maria
There's Bumble, Tinder, Gluten-Free Singles...
M Maria
Hot Sauce Passions.
M Maria
And you should spend serious money on premium memberships.
Bye! [quickly leaves the restaurant, and the lid pops open, with Garfield still in the box] Huh? Oh, hey. [chuckles as he sets the box down on the ground, and puts Garfield on the lid] Well, that was an interesting dinner… that you had. Well, I guess, um...this is where we say goodbye. [Garfield **** his head.] Oh, you’re really cute, but I can’t have pets in my apartment. So...I’ll see you around, OK? Go on. [As Garfield sniffles sadly, he cries, shedding a lot of tears.] Oh, no. No, no, no, don’t cry. Don’t cry. [The tears make a river that leads to a storm drain. Garfield waves goodbye to him.] Oh. Oh! No, no, no, no, no! No! Oh, no! Oh, no! [scrambles toward Garfield, and grabs him, just as the box enters the storm drain. He then stands up while holding the tiny pint-sized kitten in both hands] You don’t have a home, do you?
[Garfield looks away sadly as if to say, "No.", then he stares at Jon, blinking his big green eyes. Jon smiles, and so does Garfield, who kisses him on the nose. Jon smiles as he nuzzles his little friend. Garfield pulls the screen up, bringing us back to the present while eating some breadsticks.]
And that's how I adopted Jon.
[Odie facepalms and brings down the screen to show the title card of the film.]
[They all rush out to the loading dock.] [on com]
Okay, Otto, we’re in the loading dock. Where are the keys?
[on com]
They should be hanging on a pegboard on the far wall.
[Odie barks to Garfield.]
What do you mean we have a problem?
[Odie points to the pegboard, empty of keys.]
The pegboard is empty!
Now would you look at this? Three misguided stray pets trying to steal a truck of milk. Never a dull moment at this dairy, is there, Margie? You were looking for these, aren’t ya? Oh, here you go then. [She throws them the keys and Garfield tries to get them, but they reel back to her.] So, how’s this gonna play out, fellas? The easy way or the hard way? And just so you know, I’m up for either.
[He spots a chair and nearby gets an idea.]
Follow my lead.
[Garfield rushes to the chair and charges it toward Marge. Unfortunately, the guard binds Garfield's ankle with some restraints. Vic groans in dismay while Odie shakes his head.] [cracks her neck]
Who’s next then? [She chases after Vic and Odie.]
[on com]
Otto, that security guard has the truck keys!
[on com]
Crazy eyes? Tragic sense of fashion?
[on com]
Yeah. How did you know?
[on com]
Marge Malone. [Cut to a flashback showing Marge towing him away from Ethel. Flashback] Ethel!
[Cut back to present day] [on com]
She’s not just my nemesis. She’s also my… enemy.
[on com]
Love to hear about it, but right now, what do we do?
[on com]
Get those keys. I’ll create a distraction so you can get out of there. [As he runs off]
[She tries to get Vic and Odie.]
Come here, you!
[Garfield hops over to a janitor's bucket and uses the mop to row across the floor. Marge is about to capture the two when the mop hits her head, obscuring her vision. Garfield grabs the keys from her.]
You see that? That’s indoor cat style!
[As the three rush to the truck, Marge gets the mop off her head and blocks their path before electrocuting Garfield with an electric rod.]
AAHH!
[As Garfield lands in Vic and Odie's arms, the keys fly back to Marge via electric rod.]
No, no, no, no, you’re not getting away. I’ve already called the pound. Your days of thievery end today.
PA PA Announcer
[Suddenly, the alarm blares.] [via intercom]
Attempted Perimeter breach!
[She looks at the security footage to find Otto trying to open the gates.]
Otto...?!
[He looks at the button and the milk truck before getting a plan with a regretful look.]
Junior, sorry about this.
Sorry? For what? [Vic pushes him and Odie onto Marge, making her lose the keys. As Vic grabs the keys, Garfield is shocked.] Vic?! [Vic presses the button to close the gate in front of the two and Marge. He then gets to the milk truck and turns back to look at his son with regret.] What are you doing?! [Vic gets inside the milk truck.] Vic! Don’t you go! Vic! Please!… [Vic drives off, leaving him and Odie with Marge. Garfield is sad and depressed.]
[on com]
Send security to the loading dock.
[Vic bursts through the gates of Lactose Farms. Otto sees Ethel standing a few feet across!]
Otto!
[Otto tries to run over to Ethel, but Marge drives in to stop him.]
You do not want to try me today, mister!
[Workers arrive to surround Otto with electric rods while Ethel is corralled. Otto angrily roars and charges, hitting Marge's car. Marge then zaps him with the rod.]
AAH!
Get him!
[Otto is forced to retreat while Garfield and Odie are put in the back of the pound truck.]
[We then cut to a little house in the suburbs.] [voiceover]
So I moved Jon out of his apartment to this nice, little two-bed, two-bath in the suburbs. [We see a time passage of Jon putting down pet stuff while Garfield eats pizza; voiceover] As soon as he understood the ground rules, well, let’s just say, we were living the dream. [Cut to Garfield riding through the wind; voiceover] And once we were settled in, I even let Jon get a pet. [Zoom out to see him riding on top of Odie, as a puppy. They run around the house while Jon reads “The Great Catsby.” Then, they ride atop a robotic vacuum with Garfield drinking from a cup and Odie gnawing on a bone. Cut to Young Garfield pulling down the table covers to bring down two glass cookie jars. Garfield ends up inside one while Odie’s head is in another; voiceover] Odie, became my most trusted ally. He was kind, gentle, and most importantly, my unpaid intern. [Odie bounces on Garfield’s tummy and steals a burger from Jon. Garfield removes the lettuce, and eats the burger before giving the lettuce to Odie, who looks at the viewers as if saying, "Seriously?". Later, as Jon is drawing, Garfield is bungee jumping outside the house. Each time Jon checks, he sees nothing. Then, as Garfield blows raspberries at Jon, we see the bungee rope being Odie’s tongue. Cut to see Odie eating from Garfield’s food bowl. Then, time passes and the two grow up while eating and watching TV with Jon. Voiceover] Oh, yeah. As you can see, life here is pretty near perfect. [Cut close to him; clears his throat and looks at the audience] Well, yeah, except for...
[The word "MONDAYS" in giant red capital letters suddenly slams down in front of a white background. Jon opens the curtains.]
Time to go to the vet!
LW Liz Wilson
[Cut to a vet appointment, Garfield is set on a scale while Jon looks lovingly at Liz. The scale breaks beneath the cat and Liz gets out an intercom.] [over PA]
We’re gonna need the big scale!
[to the viewers]
Does she need to announce it to the whole office?
[The montage of Garfield causing bad luck every Monday plays. Garfield hanging on a tree branch before a strong wind blows him off, into the house, and out through a window. Garfield getting scared by a spider, a pie thrown at Garfield’s face, Odie licking him, his ice cream dropping to the ground when he licks it, and his toothpaste squirting too much. Then, Jon puts on his protective gear to give Garfield a bath.]
[as he's being bathed]
No! Please! No! Ow, it’s so hot! Ow, it’s really hurting! Ow, ow, ow!
[Soon, Jon dries him up and he is all poofy. Odie drops his ball in shock and Garfield angrily glares at him, while growling in anger. The montage ends, where Garfield grumpily shredding the "MONDAYS" paper in a paper shredder.] [to the viewers; grumpily]
And that’s why we should go from Sunday to Tuesday. [pause] OK. Where were we?
[While the dogs, along with the spy bird, head to an abandoned mall…] [in the bag]
What do you guys...What do you want? Money? I don't have any money, okay? Who-who carries cash anymore? I've-- I-I've got Jon's credit card number memorized. 5552-3857-5521. Did you write that down? Expiration code is 555.
[Inside the mall, they release the two from the bags.]
The cat is out of the bag! [Cackles; throws the rope up]
We hope this kidnapping plan works or she’ll put us down....with her insults and cutting observations.
[They tie the two by their ankles and pull up the ropes.]
I think this is a case of mistaken identity! You must be looking for another gorgeous, lovable kitty cat! Right?! [Once they’re high above, the two dogs leave.] Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, where you going?! No, no, come back, come back! [Odie barking] No, no. Odie?
I'll handle this. [angrily] Alright, you guys, I'm giving you the count of 3 to get back here, and let us down! 1, 2, 3! Four, five… I am not kidding here! [Later, Garfield is exhausted while Odie plays the harmonica.] 308, 309...I can't... yeah, they’re not coming. [groans] It’s over.
V Voice
[offscreen]
Psst!
[He and Odie turn around to see a shrouded figure standing in the mall.]
Huh? [Odie drops his harmonica in awe.] Am I dead? [The shrouded figure moves around.] Are you an angel? [The figure comes to the mall ceiling by the ropes.] Please take me. I am ready to go to the...[sobs] to the all-you-can-eat buffet in the sky.
SF Shrouded figure
What? Listen, I’m going to swing you out, cut your ropes, and drop you safely to that landing below.
Wait, what? That seems a tad risky. Is there another plan that doesn’t involve cutting the rope from a 40-foot drop?
SF Shrouded figure
No time. We gotta get outta here before they come back. [He swings Odie first, then cuts his rope. The dog lands perfectly on the landing. Then, the shrouded figure swings Garfield and cuts his rope. The cat falls and lands next to Odie, though not so gracefully.] We need to go! Come on, Junior!
[Garfield gasps in shock as he remembers being left in the alley.] [flashback]
Wait here, Junior. I’ll be right back. [echoes]
[Garfield narrows his eyes as he pulls the shroud off the figure, revealing his long-lost father, Vic, a burly orange tabby cat.] [gasps and points angrily at Vic]
You…?!
Who is he? This is Vic, my "father".
Look, Junior, I know how you might be upset...
[ticked off]
Upset?! Why would I be upset?! You only abandoned me in an alley as a kitten! I’m probably just overreacting!
[Suddenly, they hear a claw scratching against metal.]
Oh, no. Not her. Quick, follow me, Junior!
[However, Garfield refuses to follow Vic.]
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You lost the privilege of telling me what to do a long time ago.
[Red light glows behind them, revealing a maniacal cat, Jinx, with a glowing mood necklace.]
Hello, Vic!
[The three jump back and scream, startled.] [scared]
Dang!
Scare-cam! [laughs] Oh, you should’ve seen your faces! [makes spooky noises then laughs as she runs over to Nolan and Roland holding a phone] OK, boys, show me! [The phone shows a video of the trio being scared by her sudden appearance; laughs] Post that ASAP! [laughs]
Hey, Jinx. I haven’t seen you since… Oh, well, no hard feelings though, right? [holds his hand out for a handshake]
[pushes Vic's hand away]
Oh, I don’t think so. [glares for a moment, then smiles] I’m a hugger! [hugs Vic]
A part of me wants to be mad at her for kidnapping us, but you gotta love her energy.
[gasps]
Where are my manners? [claps her paws to summon Barry]
B Barry
Chop, chop, gentlemen. Look alive.
[Nolan sets up the table and Roland pours them glasses of milk.] [drinks hers]
Perfection. You know, I was so delighted to think you accepted my invitation here tonight.
Well, throwing us in a burlap sack wasn’t exactly an Evite.
Vic, you’re so quiet. Are you feline sad? Cat got your tongue? Would you prefer a mew-mosa?
Excuse me, how do you two know each other?
Let me handle this, Junior.
Oh, don’t "Junior" me. You may call me "Garfield", "Mr. Garfield", or "G-Money". [Odie scoffs] Okay, whatever, no "G-Money". Anyway, can somebody please tell me what is going on??
[interrupts Vic]
I’ll take this one.
[Roland is nearby, playing the piano.]
What?
[Odie shrugs "I don’t know".]
I’m from a small town outside London that you’ve probably never heard of. Oh, I scratched and clawed my way through hard times to come here with one dream. [We fade to a flashback of her entering America’s Next Top Feline, walking down the red carpet as people take pictures of her; voiceover] I wanted to be seen. I wanted to matter. [Cut to her holding a tuba. She stands still in stage fright. Crickets chirp. Voiceover] But... [wah-wah sound is heard.] I was a failure.
A Announcer
[offscreen; spotlight shines elsewhere]
The winner!
[Fade to her sitting on a bench. A hand holds out to her, and she sees Vic and his cat crew.] [voiceover]
And then, I met Vic and his crew. They were outcasts. Losers. Thugs. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. We became a real family.
[Cut back to present day.] [scoffs]
Vic and family. I know where this is going. [to Roland] Excuse me, garcon? Uh, when might we expect appetizers? Perhaps some amuse-bouche?
Then, one night...[Cut to a flashback of the crew stealing quarts of milk from Lactose Farms. Voiceover] We were about to make our biggest score. Enough milk to last us for weeks! [She drops one bottle and tries to get it, only to be captured and thrown in a pound truck; flashback] Vic! VIC!!!! [Vic tries to go after the truck, but it drives off with her. Cut back to present day.]
Jinx, I tried to come back for you. You have to know that.
Oh, yes. You get an A for effort.
Imagine Alcatraz...[Cut to her being served slop in the pound. Voiceover] But smellier. It was cold and lonely...[One cat knocks her lunch away, making Jinx growl in anger. Cut to Jinx sleeping under a smelly cat; voiceover] And stinky. So very stinky. I can’t ever state that enough. [Cut to her sulking at the fence. Voiceover] But it gave me purpose. I needed to get out. I just needed help.
[A ball rolls over to her. She turns to see Roland and Nolan. Jinx throws the ball to Roland, who grabs it with his mouth. Smiling, she gets an idea. Later, the three of them break out of the pound. Cut back to present day.]
So, your purpose was to escape jail and get involved with charities?
Nope. My purpose was...revenge. [Vic gulps in fear]
Oh, I see. I went the other way with it.
I’m kidding! Another cat would be bent on revenge, but I’m a...ooh, how do you put it?
B Barry
Evolved, compassionate, and incredibly self-actualized.
Bingo! [giggles] I had such trouble finding him and when I discovered you were his son, I had no choice but to kidnap you to lure him here.
Listen, I totally get it. It’s all a part of being associated with Vic. So, what do you need from him to make this right?
I simply want him to pay back the quart of milk I lost that night, and we’ll call it even.
What he can’t do is raise a child.
For every day I was in the pound.
Uh, how long were you in the pound again??
4 years, 7 months, and 2 days.
Alright, I’m gonna do the math here in my brain and, uh...the way you do that is...[clears his throat] Odie?
[Odie barks to Garfield the grand total]
1,675 quarts of milk. Exactly right, Odie. We both came up with it at the exact same time.
Where am I gonna find that much milk?
Well, I suggest you go back to the place you double-crossed me. Lactose Farms.
Wow. Well, good luck, Vic. [laughs] I’ll leave you two to work on the fine print. We’ll just see ourselves out. Odie...[He tries to leave but is stopped by Roland and Nolan.]
Uh, no, you’re all going to do this.
What? Why me? He’s the one who abandoned you!
Yes, but this is more than a one-cat job.
If I’m sure Vic has a whole crew of lowlife cat burglars, he could ask.
Oh, I’m sure he does, but if I’m being completely honest, seeing how miserable you make one another brings me endless satisfaction.
Oh, well, thank you for your honesty. And if I don’t go?
You can stay and have a playdate with Roland and Nolan. [to the hench-dogs] Okay, boys, go play!
B Barry
[The two dogs proceed to maul two nearby mannequins.] [clears his throat; last words]
Ma’am. I think this is an opportunity to take a deep, cleansing breath and repeat your anger management mantra.
[Suddenly, Jinx eats Barry and spits out a feather. The three are terrified by this.] [clears her throat]
Anyone else have any objections?
[gulps nervously]
Nope, I’m good. [gives two thumbs-up] Thanks for the opportunity.
Excellent! Now you boys have 72 hours...[drinks her milk and throws her glass away] or else!
