[While the dogs, along with the spy bird, head to an abandoned mall…] [in the bag]
What do you guys...What do you want? Money? I don't have any money, okay? Who-who carries cash anymore? I've-- I-I've got Jon's credit card number memorized. 5552-3857-5521. Did you write that down? Expiration code is 555.
[Inside the mall, they release the two from the bags.]
The cat is out of the bag! [Cackles; throws the rope up]
Roland We hope this kidnapping plan works or she’ll put us down....with her insults and cutting observations.
[They tie the two by their ankles and pull up the ropes.]
I think this is a case of mistaken identity! You must be looking for another gorgeous, lovable kitty cat! Right?! [Once they’re high above, the two dogs leave.] Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, where you going?! No, no, come back, come back! [Odie barking] No, no. Odie?
I'll handle this. [angrily] Alright, you guys, I'm giving you the count of 3 to get back here, and let us down! 1, 2, 3! Four, five… I am not kidding here! [Later, Garfield is exhausted while Odie plays the harmonica.] 308, 309...I can't... yeah, they’re not coming. [groans] It’s over.
V Voice
[offscreen]
Psst!
[He and Odie turn around to see a shrouded figure standing in the mall.]
Huh? [Odie drops his harmonica in awe.] Am I dead? [The shrouded figure moves around.] Are you an angel? [The figure comes to the mall ceiling by the ropes.] Please take me. I am ready to go to the...[sobs] to the all-you-can-eat buffet in the sky.
SF Shrouded figure
What? Listen, I’m going to swing you out, cut your ropes, and drop you safely to that landing below.
Wait, what? That seems a tad risky. Is there another plan that doesn’t involve cutting the rope from a 40-foot drop?
SF Shrouded figure
No time. We gotta get outta here before they come back. [He swings Odie first, then cuts his rope. The dog lands perfectly on the landing. Then, the shrouded figure swings Garfield and cuts his rope. The cat falls and lands next to Odie, though not so gracefully.] We need to go! Come on, Junior!
[Garfield gasps in shock as he remembers being left in the alley.] [flashback]
Wait here, Junior. I’ll be right back. [echoes]
[Garfield narrows his eyes as he pulls the shroud off the figure, revealing his long-lost father, Vic, a burly orange tabby cat.] [gasps and points angrily at Vic]
You…?!
Who is he? This is Vic, my "father".
Look, Junior, I know how you might be upset...
[ticked off]
Upset?! Why would I be upset?! You only abandoned me in an alley as a kitten! I’m probably just overreacting!
[Suddenly, they hear a claw scratching against metal.]
Oh, no. Not her. Quick, follow me, Junior!
[However, Garfield refuses to follow Vic.]
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You lost the privilege of telling me what to do a long time ago.
[Red light glows behind them, revealing a maniacal cat, Jinx, with a glowing mood necklace.]
Hello, Vic!
[The three jump back and scream, startled.] [scared]
Dang!
Scare-cam! [laughs] Oh, you should’ve seen your faces! [makes spooky noises then laughs as she runs over to Nolan and Roland holding a phone] OK, boys, show me! [The phone shows a video of the trio being scared by her sudden appearance; laughs] Post that ASAP! [laughs]
Hey, Jinx. I haven’t seen you since… Oh, well, no hard feelings though, right? [holds his hand out for a handshake]
[pushes Vic's hand away]
Oh, I don’t think so. [glares for a moment, then smiles] I’m a hugger! [hugs Vic]
A part of me wants to be mad at her for kidnapping us, but you gotta love her energy.
[gasps]
Where are my manners? [claps her paws to summon Barry]
B Barry
Chop, chop, gentlemen. Look alive.
[Nolan sets up the table and Roland pours them glasses of milk.] [drinks hers]
Perfection. You know, I was so delighted to think you accepted my invitation here tonight.
Well, throwing us in a burlap sack wasn’t exactly an Evite.
Vic, you’re so quiet. Are you feline sad? Cat got your tongue? Would you prefer a mew-mosa?
Excuse me, how do you two know each other?
Let me handle this, Junior.
Oh, don’t "Junior" me. You may call me "Garfield", "Mr. Garfield", or "G-Money". [Odie scoffs] Okay, whatever, no "G-Money". Anyway, can somebody please tell me what is going on??
[interrupts Vic]
I’ll take this one.
[Roland is nearby, playing the piano.]
What?
[Odie shrugs "I don’t know".]
I’m from a small town outside London that you’ve probably never heard of. Oh, I scratched and clawed my way through hard times to come here with one dream. [We fade to a flashback of her entering America’s Next Top Feline, walking down the red carpet as people take pictures of her; voiceover] I wanted to be seen. I wanted to matter. [Cut to her holding a tuba. She stands still in stage fright. Crickets chirp. Voiceover] But... [wah-wah sound is heard.] I was a failure.
A Announcer
[offscreen; spotlight shines elsewhere]
The winner!
[Fade to her sitting on a bench. A hand holds out to her, and she sees Vic and his cat crew.] [voiceover]
And then, I met Vic and his crew. They were outcasts. Losers. Thugs. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. We became a real family.
[Cut back to present day.] [scoffs]
Vic and family. I know where this is going. [to Roland] Excuse me, garcon? Uh, when might we expect appetizers? Perhaps some amuse-bouche?
Then, one night...[Cut to a flashback of the crew stealing quarts of milk from Lactose Farms. Voiceover] We were about to make our biggest score. Enough milk to last us for weeks! [She drops one bottle and tries to get it, only to be captured and thrown in a pound truck; flashback] Vic! VIC!!!! [Vic tries to go after the truck, but it drives off with her. Cut back to present day.]
Jinx, I tried to come back for you. You have to know that.
Oh, yes. You get an A for effort.
Imagine Alcatraz...[Cut to her being served slop in the pound. Voiceover] But smellier. It was cold and lonely...[One cat knocks her lunch away, making Jinx growl in anger. Cut to Jinx sleeping under a smelly cat; voiceover] And stinky. So very stinky. I can’t ever state that enough. [Cut to her sulking at the fence. Voiceover] But it gave me purpose. I needed to get out. I just needed help.
[A ball rolls over to her. She turns to see Roland and Nolan. Jinx throws the ball to Roland, who grabs it with his mouth. Smiling, she gets an idea. Later, the three of them break out of the pound. Cut back to present day.]
So, your purpose was to escape jail and get involved with charities?
Nope. My purpose was...revenge. [Vic gulps in fear]
Oh, I see. I went the other way with it.
I’m kidding! Another cat would be bent on revenge, but I’m a...ooh, how do you put it?
B Barry
Evolved, compassionate, and incredibly self-actualized.
Bingo! [giggles] I had such trouble finding him and when I discovered you were his son, I had no choice but to kidnap you to lure him here.
Listen, I totally get it. It’s all a part of being associated with Vic. So, what do you need from him to make this right?
I simply want him to pay back the quart of milk I lost that night, and we’ll call it even.
What he can’t do is raise a child.
For every day I was in the pound.
Uh, how long were you in the pound again??
4 years, 7 months, and 2 days.
Alright, I’m gonna do the math here in my brain and, uh...the way you do that is...[clears his throat] Odie?
[Odie barks to Garfield the grand total]
1,675 quarts of milk. Exactly right, Odie. We both came up with it at the exact same time.
Where am I gonna find that much milk?
Well, I suggest you go back to the place you double-crossed me. Lactose Farms.
Wow. Well, good luck, Vic. [laughs] I’ll leave you two to work on the fine print. We’ll just see ourselves out. Odie...[He tries to leave but is stopped by Roland and Nolan.]
Uh, no, you’re all going to do this.
What? Why me? He’s the one who abandoned you!
Yes, but this is more than a one-cat job.
If I’m sure Vic has a whole crew of lowlife cat burglars, he could ask.
Oh, I’m sure he does, but if I’m being completely honest, seeing how miserable you make one another brings me endless satisfaction.
Oh, well, thank you for your honesty. And if I don’t go?
You can stay and have a playdate with Roland and Nolan. [to the hench-dogs] Okay, boys, go play!
B Barry
[The two dogs proceed to maul two nearby mannequins.] [clears his throat; last words]
Ma’am. I think this is an opportunity to take a deep, cleansing breath and repeat your anger management mantra.
[Suddenly, Jinx eats Barry and spits out a feather. The three are terrified by this.] [clears her throat]
Anyone else have any objections?
[gulps nervously]
Nope, I’m good. [gives two thumbs-up] Thanks for the opportunity.
Excellent! Now you boys have 72 hours...[drinks her milk and throws her glass away] or else!
[Garfield, Vic, and Odie walk outside the abandoned mall. Garfield is angry.]
I can't believe this is happening! I don't see you for years! And when I do, you're pulling me into a life of crime.
I had this reunion playing differently in my head, too.
That's the difference between us, because I never wanted to see you again!
I totally understand your anger, but give me a chance to explain. You'll see, I'm not the bad guy you think I am.
A good guy doesn't leave his kid in an alley!
[angrily]
IT WAS EXACTLY LIKE THAT!
No, it wasn't. Let me tell you what… [But Garfield doesn't want to listen to Vic.]
[furious]
No, no! Ah! I don't want to hear it! This whole thing with Jinx?! This is your mess, not mine! Come on, Odie. [Unfortunately, he is stopped by Roland and Nolan.]
Roland Can’t let you do that.
Roland Like a hawk.
[They hide behind a stop sign with Nolan giving Garfield a "We’re watching you" gesture.] [groans in frustration]
Is today a Monday?! ‘Cause it feels an awful lot like a Monday.
Look, I know this isn't ideal, but we have to do this. [as Garfield growls] So, let's just try and make the best of our time together.
[furious]
Our time together?! What are you talking about?! Once we get this milk, I want you out of my life. Forever!
Alright, just relax. Lactose Farms is nothing but a sleepy little mom-and-pop dairy. This will be a quick grab-and-go. You’ll be back home before you know it. [laughs]
[sighs]
How do we even get to Lactose Farms? It’s way out in the country.
Well, if jumping the train is too hard, just say it.
Exactly! [laughs as he slaps Garfield to the ground] This is gonna be fun! [flexes his arms]
[The next morning at the house, Jon walks down the stairs.] [yawns]
Garfield? Odie? Hello? [notices the refrigerator door left open] Garfield, how many times have I told you to close the refrigerator door? [spots some food still on the floor when Garfield and Odie were kidnapped by Roland and Nolan] Wait. There’s food on the floor. [gasps] He's never left food on the floor. Garfield? [checks the halls] Garfield? [checks the closet] Garfield?! [checks under the couch] Garfield? [checks out the pet door] Garfield? [checks from the chimney] Garfield? [steps out the door] GARFIELD!!!!
[Back with Garfield, Vic, and Odie as they slide down a hill and stop by the railroad tracks.]
Our best shot at jumping on a train is here.
Hold on a sec. I’m just taking in the wind speed, the direction of the sun, and various angles. Yes, I say we jump the train from right here.
I’ve seen enough television a million times. We’ll need a hundred feet of rope...
Uh-huh. Rope. Yeah, okay. [He sets Garfield on a branch and pulls it back]
We’ll throw the rope over that branch right there.
Can you follow me? Alright. [as the train approaches] And then, timing it just right, we swing over as the train passes by and land on top of the car. Boom!
Or, we can do this! [He lets go of the branch, launching Garfield through an open train car.] Odie! Jump, boy!
[As the two jump on, Garfield is sprung off a tree, launching him into another.]
Uh-oh… [gets sprung off] AHHHH!!!! WHOA!
[The two trees bounce Garfield back and forth while Nolan and Roland watch from a distance.]
Part of me wants to help him.
Roland No. This is how he learns.
UC Used Catapult Customer
[Then, Garfield bounces off the awning of a trailer, gets kicked off by a billy goat, and splats on a car window. He grins maniacally before the unfazed driver wipes him off the window. Cut to a catapult sale going on. A customer speaks to the salesman about a catapult.]
I don’t know. It’s kind of pricey. How much does it handle? [Garfield lands on the catapult and it launches him away; impressed.] Whoa! I’ll take it!
[Garfield bounces off a parade float of himself, rolls downhill, falls off a cliff, lands and bounces off a power line, and finally lands in a pile of manure inside the train car Vic and Odie are on.]
See? I told you this was gonna be fun!
[in the manure]
You and I have different definitions of "fun".
Roland [Back in the mall, Jinx sings in French while scribbling something with a red marker. Then, she cuts paper with scissors and some tape with her claw. Soon, she hangs up three images of Vic on a board full of pictures. It is clear that she resents Vic for the failed heist. Jinx laughs evilly while scratching one picture before noticing her hench-dogs have returned.]
She’s really losing it.
[shakes off the tape]
Yes, what is it?
Roland They’re ready to rob the dairy.
Purrrfect! Oh, everything is coming to plan. Now it’s time to make the call. [Roland gets out a cellphone from his folds.] Excuse me, you keep that thing in your folds? That is so disgusting. [to Nolan] You, you dial the number and put me on speaker. [Nolan dials the number and puts on the speaker.]
FP Female Phone Operator
[on phone]
Hello?
[on phone]
Hello? Lactose Farms?
FP Female Phone Operator
[on phone]
How may I help you?
[on phone]
It’s come to my attention that there will be an attempt to rob one of your dairy trucks tomorrow. It’s not important who I am or how I came to know this. Just think of me as a concerned citizen intent on fulfilling my civic responsibility as well as...
MP Male Phone Operator
[On the other side, the phone operators only hear meowing on the speaker. One of the operators goes to the office of his superior.]
Uh, chief? We may have a situation.
[grabs her nightstick]
Well, okay then. Let’s go have a look-see.
FP Female Phone Operator
[They check the speaker with Jinx still talking...or meowing.]
This is the third time they called.
MP Male Phone Operator
It just sounds like a cat crank-calling us.
[shoves her nightstick at his nose]
If it were a dog barking, I’d be on board for a prank. Some dogs are born for mischief. They just are. Not cats. Oh, no. Cats mean business. [She gets out her phone, uses the Critter Talk, and selects a cat to translate the meowing.]
[on phone]
I repeat, there will be an attempt to rob one of your dairy trucks tomorrow. I suggest you take appropriate measures to prevent this brazen thievery from occurring. Okay, I’m done. Hang up the phone. Ha, ha. What an evil genius I am. [hangs up]
Well then, still seem like a prank to ya?
MP Male Phone Operator
Eh, that last part did a little.
FP Female Phone Operator
What’s our next move, chief?
Our next move is for me to go back to my office and formulate an ingenious plan. And you go get my car waxed. [She enters her office and approaches the mirror; to herself] Well, well, well. Would you look at that, Margie Malone? We’re having company tomorrow. I guess I better take out my finest China to serve a heaping plate...[puts on her hat] of justice!
[…Garfield and Otto approach the tree.]
So, once I get on the train, I untie Vic and we jump off right as the train gets to the bridge.
Correct. Chipmunk will be waiting for you.
[Cut to Odie below the Mile High Bridge, he has made a net at the bottom of a cliff with spikes.] [on com]
Confirm your status, Chipmunk.
[Odie barks with a thumbs-up. Otto pulls back the branch while Garfield puts on his stunt suit.]
If you don’t jump right as the train gets to the bridge, you’ll miss the net.
Got it. It’s getting close.
Have you considered throwing a rope over a branch and just swinging onto the passing train instead?
This way is much better than your rope idea.
Better than the versatile, reliable rope?
Look, I’ve studied the science. I know what I’m doing.
And you think you can battle these villains on your own?
Oh, yeah. I have a plan. [speaks on com] Odie, make the order.
[Odie barks and gets out Jon’s phone, confirming a new delivery.]
Now get ready to fling me in the direction of that moving train. [As the train approaches...] Get ready. If I don’t make it back, tell my story. [The train comes near.] Now! [Otto lets go of the branch, sending him flying.]
[on com]
Roadkill, you’re too high! You’re gonna miss it!
[on com]
No, no, this is how you do it. It’s called a ricochet approach! [Otto facepalms. Garfield flies over a train and gets kicked off by a same billy goat from before, knocking him out of his suit. Then, he bounces off Otto’s belly.]
[Cut to the train, Jinx sees a sign saying, "MILE HIGH BRIDGE - 5 MILES AHEAD".] [laughs evilly]
It won’t be long now! I can’t tell you how excited I am for what’s about to happen next!
[Suddenly, Garfield flies into her, knocking her into Roland and Nolan. He then runs over to his dad.]
Dad, I’m here to rescue you!
No, no, no, no, no, Junior, get out of here!
I'm gonna untie you and we're gonna jump off the train!
NO, JUST LEAVE ME AND GO!
I DIDN'T COME THIS FAR JUST TO TURN AROUND! LET ME UNTIE YOU!
[grabs a nearby axe; enraged]
You’re ruining everything! [She swings it down, but Garfield has it cut the rope instead, freeing Vic.]
Hurry! This way. [He and Vic carefully walk the side of the train car. As Garfield spots a ladder close by, Jinx summons her henchdogs.]
[groans]
You half-wit! Get them!
[Garfield climbs to the top of the car. Vic tries to cross when Roland opens the door and tries to grab him. Vic throws the rope to Garfield, and he pulls him up. They see some oncoming branches and dodge them. Garfield sees the sign saying, "MILE HIGH BRIDGE - 3 MILES AHEAD".]
The bridge is coming up! We gotta get to the caboose now!
Roland [As they run toward the caboose, Roland appears in front of their path. They turn back, only to see Nolan. The two cats are surrounded.]
Oy, kitty cat. Do you really expect to take on us all by yourself?
Roland Huh?
Huh?
[Up in the sky, we see tons of drones flying in with deliveries as the Top Gun theme plays. Garfield gets out of the rope and grabs onto a drone, flying up. He stuffs meatballs in his mouth and jumps down onto the train car, shooting them like a machine gun. They hit Nolan away and Jinx growls at this. Then, Garfield gets onto another drone to pour dressing on the salad. He throws the salad on the roof, making Roland slip on it.]
I never understood the purpose of salad until...[throws a salad leaf away]...this exact moment.
[Vic trips Roland. However, Garfield sees another sign saying, "MILE HIGH BRIDGE - 1 MILE AHEAD". Time is running out! He flies over to his dad.]
Go, go! Now! [He and Vic head toward the caboose.]
Roland [Roland chases them down. As Vic tries to jump, the big dog pulls him back by the rope. Garfield turns back and grabs a season shaker to pour it on Roland's eyes, stinging him.]
OW!
[Garfield hops over from one box to another.]
Yeah, in case you were wondering, I do my own stunts. Me...and Tom Cruise.
[Jinx grabs the box he's on, spins him around, and throws him off.]
Junior!
[Luckily, Garfield gets on another. Vic cheers for his son.] [to her hench-dogs]
Stop him!
[Garfield hops across a path of pizza boxes and grabs a container of Mamma Leoni's Hot Sauce. He opens it and gulps the sauce down. He then gets on the train car and breathes fire at the villains, scaring them off.]
Now that’s amazing!
[his tongue numb]
I can’t feel my tongue!
[on com]
Roadkill, are you at the caboose ready to jump?
[Garfield sees the caboose being a few train cars away. He sees a hanging tree branch and gets an idea. He uses the rope to catch the branch and swing him and his father to the caboose. However, the two cats hang by both sides of the car. Vic makes it while Garfield flies around and runs across a wall.]
Dad! Dad!
Jump, Junior! I’ll catch you!
[Garfield jumps and Vic catches him. He pulls his son in for a hug, but they see the villains glaring from inside the car. Garfield sees a sign reading, "MILE HIGH BRIDGE AHEAD". They have arrived at the Mile High Bridge.]
What do we do now?!
We do this! [He pushes Vic off the train.]
[to Jinx and her hench-dogs]
See you, everyone! [He falls off the train but notices his dad flying up.]
[flying up]
The net’s too tight!
[on com]
Roadkill, the net is too tight!
[on com]
I heard! [He bounces off the net and he and his father crash through the caboose.]
Hello again! Welcome back. Now, where were we? [Soon, the two dogs hang Garfield and Vic over the side of the train, ready to drop them.] No, no, don’t throw them over just yet! I want to find the perfect place for them to make the biggest splat.
Hey, Junior. Junior, Junior.
Sorry my rescue didn’t work out.
No, you gave me another chance. That’s all that matters.
[Garfield smiles at his father. Roland and Nolan see this, touched at the father and son moment.]
Now! Now! Drop them now! [gasps] What are you waiting for?!
Roland [However, the two dogs refuse to drop Garfield and Vic.]
Their love for one another indicates that despite their current circumstance, they are at peace. [Nolan nods.] Because...they are together.
If the point of your revenge was to hurt them...It has done the opposite. It’s actually textbook irony!
Roland And we’re no longer comfortable with your plan. [Nolan nods again.]
You two are still as weak as you were when I found you sniveling in the pound! [imitates Roland] "Oooh, no one will adopt us. I never grew into my folds. I hide behind them because I'm socially awkward." [imitates Nolan] "Please! Somebody love me! Even if I can’t sit still for more than 10 seconds and have the attention span of A BLOODY GOLDFISH!"
Roland We did everything you ever asked of us. I even spoke with this ridiculous accent to make you feel more at home! But no more! [speaks in a Brooklyn accent] I’m New York, loud and proud! I love myself the way I am, and I’m a big, brave boy, baby!
I’ve been working on my attention span! [notices a hot air balloon and gasps] Is that a hot air balloon?
[growls as her mood necklace turns red, furiously; last words before her defeat]
You two... ARE... WORTHLESS! [She pushes her former hench-dogs along with Garfield and Vic off the train.]
GV Garfield, Vic, Roland, Nolan
AAAHHHHHH!!!!!
GV Garfield & Vic
[Jinx laughs evilly, only to get knocked off by an overpass.] [screaming]
[As Garfield, Vic, Roland, and Nolan fall, they all grab hands and Roland’s folds open up like a parachute, floating them safely down.]
Might I just say, as someone else with a zaftig figure, you have a beautiful body, sir.
Roland Oh, dear!
[Unfortunately, they give way and they resume falling down. Just then, Otto swings in on rope, saving them all.]
Rope. Versatile. Reliable.
There’s something about your cadence that really throws me, but thank you.
Roland [Otto also grabs the falling Jinx and sets the five of them on the net. Jinx ends up getting stuck. Nolan cackles at this.]
Tee-hee.
[Odie licks Garfield before embracing him.]
Tossing me off the train? Did not see that coming.
Well, when you live in the wild, you gotta keep your head on a swivel.
[eats a leaf]
It’s basic Outdoor Cat 101.... [then] And that had bird poop on it! [spits it out]
Not quite. There’s one last thing to take care of. Cut to...
