Gaz
Y'know Dave, it's a thought...
Gerald
Ha! I could just see Little and Large prancing around Sheffield with their widgers hanging out. Now that would be worth 10 quid!
Gaz
Don't be so bloody daft. We were just saying...
Gerald
Widgers on parade! Bring your own microscopes!
Dave
I don't see why the chuff not, Gerald.
Gerald
Because you're fat and he's thin, and you're both **** ugly!
Dave
I mean, what if next Friday 400 women turn 'round and say "He's too fat, he's too old and he's a pigeon-chested little tosser"? What happens then, eh?
They wouldn't say that, would they?
Dave
Why not? He's just said her tits are too big.
Lomper
That's different. We're... blokes.
Dave
Yeah, and...
Gerald
I think she's got nice tits, actually.
Lomper
I never said nowt about her personality, like. I mean, she's probably quite nice if you get to know her.
Dave
No. And they won't say nowt about your personality neither, which is good 'cause you're basically a bastard. Bollocks to your personality — this is what they're looking at, right? And I'll tell you summat, mate. Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is none.
Gerald
Fat, David, is a feminist issue.
Dave
Well, what's that supposed to mean when it's at home?
Gerald
I don't bloody know, do I? But it is.
Arthur Edens
Carmine Falcone
Father Moore
Lieutenant General Charles Cornwallis
Lenny Cole
Paul Emmett
Hugh Fennyman
Fromm
