Free Birds (2013) · 12 quotes
Most-quoted character in Free Birds (2013): in 9 of its 12 quotes
Most scenes with: Jake (6), STEVE (3), Jenny (2)
Our world is made of corn. [grabs leaf] Leafy corn. [has corn in hand] Corn corn.
Fire corn!
Reggie That's an awesome theory, but I think they actually call that the Sun.
Owwut. OUT!
Reggie Well, I guess this is good-bye.
No, Reggie. Good-byes are just hello’s, carried across the wind until our paths... intersect once again.
Reggie That's beautiful… and confusing.
The following film is a work of fiction. It is loosely based on historical events and is in no way meant to be historically accurate. Except for the talking turkeys. That part is totally real.
Reggie (voice-over) Holidays, the whole world loves them. [chuckles] That's why there are so many. (Includes, New Years. Halloween.) Christmas. Easter. Hanukkah. The one thing they all have in common... food, like Thanksgiving. That's what it's all about. A time to sit down over the holiday meal. [a family is having a Thanksgiving Dinner with a roasted Turkey] It's everyone's favorite part. [unknown to the family, they are being watched by a horrified domestic turkey named Reggie] Unless of course, you are the meal.
Reggie Reggie (voice-over) My name is Reggie, by the way. [Reggie in reality continues to scream in fear] I'm the turkey screaming for his life.
Reggie Ah! Ah! [runs back to the farm]
Reggie (voice-over) Thanksgiving is a turkey's (number 1) worst nightmare. And trust me, I've tried to warn them.
Reggie You don't get it! They're fattening us up so they can eat us!
It's such a beautiful day.
This is the best day ever!
Probably the best day of my life.
Hey, corn!
CORN!!!
Reggie (voice-over) And every year, they don't listen. I'm not gonna dress it up. Turkeys are dumb.
Reggie Shh... I'm Jake from the TFF. That's Turkey Freedom Front. You've just been recruited for a top-secret mission.
Reggie Ah! [runs off back to Camp David with Jake watching him] Help! I've been kidnapped by a wild turkey! Security, set tasers to kill! [Jake uses his own wing to stop Reggie, flinging him into the air] Ah! [Jake grabs the TV remote, as Reggie lands on his back] Oh. [2 security officers hears this from the distance]
What was that? [looks around at the woods with flashlight, as Jake is stealthily hides behind a tree, the security head back inside]
Reggie Love your enthusiasm, comrade. [grabs Reggie and pins on a tree] But you're running in the wrong direction. Besides, we're already behind schedule.
Reggie We're behind schedule?
We are? Why didn't you say so? [grabs Reggie] Let's move!
Reggie Look, I think you have me confused with somebody else. I'm not part of any mission.
Horizon seems clear. Hold on.
Reggie Hey, wait! That's me! This is the pardoned turkey. Help me!
A strange rogue turkey. Stay back. I'll take him out. [ ]
Reggie Please don't hurt me.
I don't know who you are but you're seriously jeopardizing this operation.
Reggie Are you insane? It's me. [brief moment of silence]
Is it? Is it really?
Reggie Would you get off me?! [ ] You know what? I'm sick of you throwing me around. [draws a line in the dirt with his sharp toe nail & points at with his feathered finger] You see this line? Do not come into my personal- [Jake slaps him in the face] Did you not see the line? 'Cause I was pretty clear that it's right- [Jake slaps his face 3 more times]
Snap out of it, Reggie.
Reggie Wait, how do you know my name?
Because he told me everything about you.
Reggie He? Who is he?
The Great Turkey. He appeared in the sky on a bright ball of light with a voice that came from everywhere. He gave me my mission, told me I needed to find you. And then, he gave me... this. [revealing a shiny golden doorknob in his wing to Reggie]
Reggie A doorknob?
The Sacred Time Knob.
Reggie This guy is a lunatic.
That secret military base should be right up ahead. [ ] The facility should be in here. Just need to figure out how to get past this impenetrable gate. [Reggie sarcastically unlocks the gate with his feathered finger as Jake kicks the gate open, shoves Reggie in] So, this is what it looks like on the inside.
Reggie Okay, what's inside this secret base, anyway? [bumps into Jake as he turns around to Reggie]
A time machine. [thunder and lightning comes out]
Reggie A time machine?
A time machine. [thunder and lightning comes out again]
Reggie A time machine.
A time- [thunder and lightning comes out, but stops as Jake realizes] What? Who told you that?
Reggie You did, just now.
Of course, I did. I was testing you.
Reggie Uhhh...
That's our mission. Not even to safe ten turkeys or even a hundred, but all of them. We're going back in time to the First Thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu. [turns to probably break the fourth wall] That's right, we're going back in time to the First Thanksgiving to get turkeys off the menu. [Reggie leans to Jake]
Reggie Who are you talking to?
This guy right here. [points at his reflection on a hubcap tire of a military Jeep, Reggie frowns at him] He totally gets it. Look, look, see how he's nodding?
Reggie Ow! What are you doing?
Tomorrow's Thanksgiving. We must attack the fort (and free those captured comrades) tonight.
Reggie Ah! Oh! Ah! Ow! We shouldn't attack anything. (Even the fort. It'll risk the safety of the flock.)
He told me we must do it together.
Reggie Oh! Give me a break. He? The Great Turkey? [sarcastically] Ooh! He's a voice inside your head. [Jake turns around to him, feeling insulted]
How dare you. There is nothing inside my head. The Great Turkey is real. [Reggie shakes his head in annoyance] I saw him with my own two eyes.
Reggie The more you say that name, the dumber it sounds. I mean-- [Jake angrily grabs him in the neck]
The Great Turkey is the greatest turkey that I know and you will never be as great as The Great Turkey who is the greatest... turkey.
Reggie Okay. [Jake realizes and lets go of his neck]
I'm sorry, Reggie. I didn't grow up on a nice free-range farm. [flashback] I grew up in a cold, clinical factory. From the time we were born, we were fattened up on formula. Except for me. My mother kept me hidden from the humans.
Is it time?
Jake's Mom: Yes, sweetie. Now, these eggs are our future, Jake. Take them and run and don't stop until you find a safe place to start a new flock.
Mama, I'm scared.
I failed. I let down my family, and my flock. I decided I was better off going it alone where I could never hurt anyone again. Then, he arrived. The Great Turkey.
My father loved this flock. And he will always be a part of it. He gave his life to give us ours. [Reggie starts to leave out of guilt] So, we will honor him. [Reggie sadly looks back at Jenny] But right now, we need to do what we must to survive.
Reggie This is all my fault. [leaves]
They have taken our home. They've taken our family. [Jake realizes Reggie is gone] We have only one choice now. We will fight! We will stand and fight! This is our home! No more hiding! We will attack the fort, free our family and make our flock whole once again! Who's with me!?
We fight!
We fight, brother! [the flock chants as Jake runs after Reggie, meanwhile Reggie sadly walks through the forest to get to STEVE]
Good morning, Reggie. Why the long face? That is a punch line from a joke.
Reggie Just take me home.
Reggie, wait! The flock is in trouble!
Reggie Yup. (They are all in grave danger.) And you know why? Because of us! We didn't save anyone. We made everything worse.
But, Reggie, the Great Turkey told me—
Reggie There is no Great Turkey! There is no mission. You made it all up in your head. It's all a lie. [Jake slumps] Now, I'm leaving, alright? Before we mess things up even more! And if you're smart, you'll come with me.
Reggie Yeah, if you're smart. [turns his back on Jake and enters STEVE sits on the seat] Look who I'm talking to.
[STEVE and Reggie disappears back into the present, leaving the disheartened Jake behind]
Reggie See you later, STEVE.
Goodbye, Reggie.
Reggie Hey. (Hold on right there.)
Reggie Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Wait!
Reggie Snap out of it Reggie, we don't have time for this.
Reggie Ah! [turns to run away with Future Reggie chasing him]
Hey! [tackles Reggie and gets him up] I'm breaking like 100 time travel rules, and this might destroy the universe, but I don't have a choice. I've come back from the future to tell you something really important.
Reggie What is it? [brief pause]
You're an idiot.
Reggie Whoa! That's a little harsh. I may not be a genius but...
Everything you want is back in 1621. Jenny, Jake, a whole flock of friends.
Reggie Yeah, a flock that I totally messed up. They're better off without me.
No! [comes out of the bushes]
Ah! [jumps in surprise]
I've come from even farther in the future to tell you that Jenny and the flock are gonna attack the fort. They don't stand a chance.
Reggie Oh, no. What do we do?
We need a plan.
Reggie Exactly. [the Sacred Time Knob shines in his wing] Whoa. The Sacred Time Knob.
The Sacred Time Knob!
The Sacred Time Knob:
Reggie Wait.
Yeah?
Reggie You know what this means?
What does it mean?
Reggie It's so simple. It means... I... need to go find The Great Turkey. I bet he's behind the door that this opens!
Oh, come on! [Reggie turns around to STEVE in confusion] You are The Great Turkey.
Reggie I'm The Great Turkey?
You're The Great Turkey. [look at each other happily]
Reggie Which means Jake was telling the truth the whole time? Wow, I really am an idiot!
I hate to say I told you so.
Reggie Wait, if I'm an idiot, then you're an idiot. [Future Reggie nods in agreement]
No, no, guys, guys, guys, technically, we're all idiots. But we're also all...
The Great Turkey!
My mind is being literally blown right now!
Mine, too!
Ah!
I came back to make sure we stop and appreciate just how awesome this is.
Reggie Are you sure you won't stay here with the flock?
I'm a turkey of action, Reggie.
Reggie Well, I guess this is good-bye.
No, Reggie. Good-byes are just hellos, carried across the wind until our paths... intersect once again.
Reggie That's beautiful… and confusing.
Wild, undomesticated turkeys of the past. I'll never forget you. [the flock, Reggie & Jenny wave good-bye to Jake & STEVE as Jake sits on the seat]
Where would you like to go, Jake?
Wherever we are needed, STEVE. Wherever we are needed. [Jake and STEVE leave as Reggie and Jenny watch]
Reggie So, this is Turkey Paradise. [romantically kisses her, much to her amazement & her left eye drops]
Oh my. [zaps into black]
Reggie Jake, what happened? You were only were gone like a second.
Actually, I've been gone for years. Have you heard about the turducken?
BAWK!
QUACK!
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