Elise No, Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend! He may be three hundred years old, but he's still a stud!
More lines from Elise
2 quotes Elise Elise You think that because I'm a movie star I don't have feelings. Well you're wrong. I'm an actress. I've got all of them!
Scenes with Elise
8 scenes Elise (Elise to her plastic surgeaon)
Do it Morris, do it to me now, I need it. You're the only one who does it the way I like it. You're the king.
Morris Elise, if I give you any more collagen you're lips are going to look like they got stuck in a pool drain
Morris You're 45! If I give you one more facelift you're going to be able to blink your lips. I mean don't you want to be able to play a part your own age?
Elise My own age? No no. You don't understand. There are only three ages for women in Hollywood. Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Ms Daisy. And right now, I want to be young, science-fiction young
OK Elise, the time has come, spill. Those lips, what's in 'em. Are they wax?
Elise Excuse me?
What else did you have done? Come on Elise you can tell me. The cheek one, the jaw line. Did you have a little bit, or the full enchilada!
Elise I work out every day. I watch my diet. I have not had plastic surgery.
Well good for you, you look terrific.
Oh come on. Elise your lying through your caps.
Elise Ok. All right, I have been freshened up a little.
Elise (drinking)
Mmmm, no.
What do they do with the stuff they take off? Do you get to keep it?
Elise Oh come on Brenda, it's the nineties for god's sake. (Picks up cigarette and lights it) I mean it's like... Plastic surgery is like good grooming, it's like brushing your teeth.
Elise You wouldn't understand, you're civilians!
That's it. (infuriated) I understand. (she grabs the bottle from Elise)
Elise Hey... give that back...
I'm saying this to you with love, compassion and the spirit of true sisterhood: you are full of SHIT!
Elise What?
(pouring the alcohol down the sink)
So okay, alimony sucks! Okay, you didn't get to play a policewoman in a Wonder bra! But look at you! You grew up gorgeous, and thanks to Cher's pioneering efforts, you still haven't hit puberty! And once upon a time, you were a great actress, you've even got an Oscar to prove it! You've spent your whole life with people sucking up to you, but I'm sure Annie will agree with me when I say your perception of life is somewhat altered!
Elise You've got some nerve! I drink because I am a sensitive and highly strung person!
No, that's why your co-stars drink!
Elise I am not a DRUNK!
Oh really? Let's examine the evidence! Look! All bottles! And gallon jugs!
Elise I had GUESTS.
Who, Guns N' Roses?!
Elise You didn't invite me to your son's bar mitzvah!
You wouldn't have come!
Yeah, it was in Hebrew...
Oh, SHUT UP!
Elise You think just because I'm a movie star, I don't have feelings, well, you're wrong! I do have feelings! I'm an actress! I have ALL of them!
(putting on a meek voice)
Well, I wouldn't understand. You see I'm just a poor little housewife, in a little apron, with a little child to raise!
Elise Yeah, well, you were always jealous of me, even in college, because I was blonde and beautiful and talented, and I could have any guy I wanted!
And did! Every guy! Most of the senior class and half the faculty!
Elise Well! It was the Sixties!
(scornful)
Look at this place! Is this where your fanclub meets? Do you have ritual sacrifices?!
Elise Put that down! Put that down! I won that!
I remember! Your first talkie!
Elise Yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? Best Digestion?! (she screams as Brenda throws the statuette) Oh no... Brenda, this is a Golden Globe! It's sacred! It's... TRADEMARKED!! (Elise throws the statue at Brenda and smashes the wall mirror)
Elise Ivana? I wanna thank you for coming so much, you're an angel!
Ivana Trump Oh, of course.
Thank you so much, again.
Ivana Ladies, you have to be strong and independent. And remember...
Elise What?
Ivana Don't get mad... get everything.
