Annie Why are you so crabby today honey, is it school? I know what it is; it's a boy.
I'm a lesbian mom. I'm a lesbian, but that's not the point.
Annie Well sweetie, when you say lesbian...
And don't tell daddy, I want to tell him myself when the time is right. Like Father's day or Christmas morning.
Catherine Annie? Thank God you're all right. Where were you? Who saw you?
Annie Who saw me what?
She was sleeping with daddy.
Catherine Oh muffin dear you've come to your senses i'm so happy.
Annie Mother, i am not sleeping with Aaron. He's just having some problems with his partners. He's feeling very conflicted and he needed somebody to talk to.
Annie Lesbian!
OK Elise, the time has come, spill. Those lips, what's in 'em. Are they wax?
What else did you have done? Come on Elise you can tell me. The cheek one, the jaw line. Did you have a little bit, or the full enchilada!
I work out every day. I watch my diet. I have not had plastic surgery.
Annie Well good for you, you look terrific.
Oh come on. Elise your lying through your caps.
Ok. All right, I have been freshened up a little.
Annie (Puts down wine glass)
Oh god, does it hurt.
What do they do with the stuff they take off? Do you get to keep it?
Oh come on Brenda, it's the nineties for god's sake. (Picks up cigarette and lights it) I mean it's like... Plastic surgery is like good grooming, it's like brushing your teeth.
Aaron I want a divorce
Annie (shocked)
BUT WE JUST MADE LOVE. I mean you asked me out. (Starts crying)
Aaron I asked you out to tell you, you know one last time, a goodbye kiss.
Annie But this wasn't just a kiss.
Aaron Annie don't be childish, you know how you manipulate me.
Annie What, manipulate, i.. i..(Realises what's going on). Oh my god, is there someone else.
Aaron Of course not this is abot us,... wel it's really about you...
Leslie (Dr. Leslie Rosen enters through front door)
Babe
All three stare at each other
LeslieOh my god
Annie Oh my god
Aaron Oh my god
Leslie This is very awkward
Aaron No no, Annie was just leaving
Leslie You told her?
Aaron I was totally upfront
Annie What? Excuse me.
Leslie Annie, this is rough, i know that
Annie ROUGH! Wait a minute, I don't understand. You are my therapist...
Leslie I'm a woman
Annie ...he is my husband, oh.
Aaron Annie, we've been separated for months. Now let's not over-dramatise.
Leslie Aaron, she's aloud to be angry. Annie, let's use this; he's found somone new; you're free; closure.
Annie I am sorry, but that is not what this is, no.
Leslie Annie no, Annie you're not helping s out here, now i am sorry...
Annie SO AM I. I VERY SORRY I EVER MET YOU; AND I AM SORRY THAT I ALLOWED MYSELF TO LOVE YOU FOR ALL THOSE YEARS. I'M SORRY I DID NOTHING BUT BE THERE FOR YOU EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY AND SUPPORT YOU IN YOUR EVERY MOVE!!! I'M SORRY!!! (Starts crying and leaves)
You think just because I'm a movie star, I don't have feelings, well, you're wrong! I do have feelings! I'm an actress! I have ALL of them!
(putting on a meek voice)
Well, I wouldn't understand. You see I'm just a poor little housewife, in a little apron, with a little child to raise!
Yeah, well, you were always jealous of me, even in college, because I was blonde and beautiful and talented, and I could have any guy I wanted!
Annie (faintly in the background)
Um, you guys...
And did! Every guy! Most of the senior class and half the faculty!
Well! It was the Sixties!
(scornful)
Look at this place! Is this where your fanclub meets? Do you have ritual sacrifices?!
Put that down! Put that down! I won that!
I remember! Your first talkie!
Yeah, what did you ever win? A pie eating contest? Best Digestion?! (she screams as Brenda throws the statuette) Oh no... Brenda, this is a Golden Globe! It's sacred! It's... TRADEMARKED!! (Elise throws the statue at Brenda and smashes the wall mirror)
(frightened, she barks)
"Are you CRAZY!?"
Ivana? I wanna thank you for coming so much, you're an angel!
Ivana Trump Oh, of course.
Annie Thank you so much, again.
I Ivana
Ladies, you have to be strong and independent. And remember...
I Ivana
Don't get mad... get everything.
