A Annie
Yes, it is, Mom...uh...God, this is a hard thing to tell parents...especially when you're my parents...Oh, God!
Honey, just say it. What's the big deal?
A Annie
Okay! I met somebody in Rome. Um, he's an American. Uh, he's from L.A., actually. And um, his name's Brian MacKenzie. And he's this completely wonderful, wonderful, amazing man, and...well, we starting seeing each other, a lot...and, um...we fell in love. Ha! Ha! It actually happened! And, uh, we've decided to get married...which means that, I'm engaged! Ha! I'm engaged! I'm getting married! HA!
Oh! My! My! Oh, so, oh my...and that's your engagement ring, huh? bought it from said that it's at least a hundred years old...So, Dad. Stop it. Say something.
I'm sorry. What did you say?
YA Young Annie
Dad, I met a man in Rome. And he's wonderful and brilliant, and we're getting married.
A Annie
Mom, what's he doing?
George? George? George? What is it?
Well...this is...this is ridiculous! You're too young to get married!
A Annie
Too young? Dad, I'm twenty-two. If I'm not mistaken, that's a year older than Mom was when you guys got married.
That is absolutely not true!
Oh, no...you're absolutely wrong.
You were this age when I married you?
No. I was younger. I was this age when she was born.
That...that doesn't matter. Times have changed. Your mother was mature...and twenty-two isn't what it used to be...Matt, would you turn on the air conditioner? It's hot in here. I thought...I thought you didn't believe in marriage. I thought it meant a woman lost her identity. I thought you wanted to get a job before you settled down so you could earn money and be your own person.
A Annie
All right, hold on. I didn't think I believed in marriage until I met Brian. Brian's not like any other guy I've ever known. I want to be married to him. And I'm not going to lose my identity with him because he's not some overpowering, macho guy. He's like you, Dad! Except he's brilliant. He happens to love that I'm going to be an architect. He wants me to design a house for us to live in. He said he'd move anywhere I got a job. Give me a little credit, George. I'm not going to marry some ape who wants me to wear go-go boots and an apron. I'm telling you, you'll love him. He's a genius. And sweet. And I love him more than anything in the world.
A Annie
He's an independent communications consultant.
That's code for unemployed! This is perfect! You meet an unemployed, amazingly brilliant non-ape that I'm going to have to support! I suppose I'm going to have to hire him and fire some hard working guy with three kids because my son-in-law, the "independent communications consultant," can't get a job anywhere else! No wonder he'll move anywhere you get a job! You're not getting married and that's it and that's final! And I don't like you calling me George! I mean, when did this start?
A Annie
Daddy, what is wrong with you? [runs out]
What? Are you telling me you're happy about this?
George, please. Would you stop acting like a lunatic father and go out and talk to her before she runs out that door, marries this kid and we never see her again!
All right. Kid? How do you know he's a kid? He could be forty-five years old.
A Annie
An independent communications consultant does not mean he's an unemployable non-ape. Brian happens to be a computer genius. Companies send him all over the world hooking up these complex systems. Major banks and corporations send him to Tokyo and Brazil and Geneva. He's a genius.
You mentioned that. How old is this genius?
A Annie
Twenty-six, not forty-five. You guys still think I can't hear you when you're one room away.
If you love him so much, I know I'll love him, too.
You know, driving down here, I tried to put myself in your place. Your daughter comes home after spending four months in Rome, and uh, I'm sure you couldn't wait to see her...and she shocks you with the news that she's getting married. And to somebody you've never met before. I'm sure that was pretty..."heavy"...to use a word from your generation. I just want to say that I'm an upstanding citizen, and I've never been engaged before...I've never really been in love before. And, uh...I think Annie is the greatest person I've ever met. And I can't wait to marry her and one day...have children...and grandchildren. And I'm going to do my best to be supportive of her dreams...and she's a very gifted architect...and um...I'm just thrilled that I met her! I love your daughter. The feelings I have for her are never going to change. And I'm here to stay.
That's okay Mr. Banks, we don't have to hug.
Well that was just a...that was just about the best thing I ever heard anybody say!
Good night. Good night, Mr. Banks.
A Annie
Oh, you can call him George. Or Dad!
Okay. I'll say it next time I see you.
Drive carefully. And don't forget to fasten your condom.
Seat belt! I meant...I meant seat belt.
Honey, I'm putting your father to bed. This has been a very big night for him.
The reason I'm asking all these questions is I have a great idea where we can have this lovely, not small, but not too big wedding.
At our favorite restaurant. The place we've been eating at for fifteen years. The best. The Steak Pit!
A Annie
Dad, get serious.
I don't think you want the word "Pit" on a wedding invitation, George.
A Annie
Really, Dad. A rib joint with sawdust on the floor isn't exactly what I had in mind for my wedding. No offense.
[looking at a book of wedding cakes]
So this is a very popular cake with many of the fashionable weddings, you know? And this...I just don't do anymore. And this is fabulous.
Oh. Oh, that is incredible! Annie, that's just like the one we saw in the magazine.
A Annie
Do you like it Dad?
Well, what is that? Is that dollars? $1,200?
Well, Mr. Banks. This is a very reasonable price for a cake of this magnitude.
A cake, Franck, is made of flour and water. My first car didn't cost $1,200.
Well, welcome to the nineties, Mr. Banks!
[voiceover]
Not only did I not understand a syllable this guy was saying, now I had the feeling he was putting me down.
Two hundred and fifty dollars a head means that for the four of us to attend this wedding in our own home will cost one thousand dollars. Therefore, we are not getting up from this table until we cut this list down to the bare minimum. Now, invite as many people as you want to the church. Pack 'em in. Build a grandstand if you want, but we are not having more than one hundred and fifty people in this house on the day of the wedding. All right, let's start eliminating.
Okay. Jim Pepper and wife.
Oh, great. Start with one of my guys.
Fine! We'll start with one of mine. I'll cut Steve and Stephanie Turell. They're very good clients of mine...
Say no more, they're history.
All right. Jim Pepper and wife.
I've known the guy for twenty years.
You haven't seen him in fifteen, George.
All right. I'll say I lost his address. Now here's somebody. Your cousin Betsy. The poet/waitress/picture framer.
We can't cut family. They know about the wedding.
I only invited one person: Cameron. Mom said I could have a friend there.
For two hundred and fifty bucks you can see Cameron after the wedding. All right, very good. Five down. We're rolling.
All right, what about Harry Kirby? We haven't seen him in ages.
A Annie
Didn't Harry Kirby die last year?
Yes! Good! Oh, well...sorry.
He's coordinating the wedding and then we're not going to invite him?
Exactly! Do you think I'm going to pay a guy fifteen-percent, plus an hourly, plus an additional five hundred dollars to feed him and that assistant of his? Have you lost your mind?
Can I put Cameron back on the list if he promises not to eat?
You know, that's not a bad idea. Who else can we ask not to eat? My parents...your mother.
A Annie
Why don't we just charge people? That way we can make money on the wedding! [storms out]
My first move was to get the old tuxedo out of mothballs. [loking in mirror] Hey, lookin' good, my man! Git down! Hey! [singing] What's new pussycat...whoa-a-whoa-whoa...What's new pussycat...whoa-a-whoa-whoa...
George? Annie, he's up here!
Hey...Pussycat, pussycat, I love you...Indeed I do...Yes I do! Hey, what do you think? Bought it in '75 and it still fits.
Yeah...it's just a...way to go. Maybe...maybe you could get a new tux. We're all wearing new clothes and...
What? Don't you think I look cute? I mean, there will be a lot of single gals there.
A Annie
I'm sorry, Dad. But I'm not going to marry Brian.
Okay. Okay. Whatever you want is okay with us.
A Annie
I feel so awful after everything you guys have done. Now I have to undo it all.
Don't worry about it. These things get canceled all the time. Your mother and I can take care of everything. What happened? Another girl?
A Annie
Oh, look at your shirt.
A Annie
No, it wasn't anything like that. It started out as nothing really. He gave me a present. It's our eight month anniversary today and he gave me...just look! He said it was for me. For our apartment. Just look.
A Annie
Yeah. Exactly. I mean, I didn't want to act thrown or anything, but inside I was. I mean, I thought something for the apartment...maybe a new clock, or a cool phone, or a great art book, or something...but a blender? I mean, what is this? 1958? Give the little wife a blender? I mean, it scared me, you know? In terms of his expectations. I started to freak out and he asked me what was wrong and I asked him what a gift like this is supposed to be telling me and he said nothing and I didn't believe him and we got into this big fight. And he said I was overreacting. And I said why would I overreact? Nobody in my family overreacts. And then, he came up with this totally absurd story, this completely outrageous lie and I'm looking at him and I'm thinking, this man's a liar!
A Annie
Oh, actually it was something about you.
A Annie
He said the day that you and Mom went to go visit his folks...this is so ridiculous! He said that you were snooping around his dad's desk and you somehow found his dad's bankbook...Oh no! First he said you broke some mirror in their bathroom. And then you found his dad's bankbook and you somehow threw it in their pool. I mean, it's too ridiculous. The man lies!
No, I was up. So what are you doing?
A Annie
I couldn't sleep. I just kept thinking about how this was my last night in my bed...in my house...kinda like my last night as a kid. I mean, I've lived here since I was five and I feel like I'm supposed to turn in my key tomorrow. It was so strange packing up my room. You know how you have always trained me never to throw anything away. So like I have all these ratty stuffed animals and yearbooks...my old retainer...all my old magic tricks. And I actually packed it all. I just didn't want to let it go. I mean, I know I can't stay, but it's like I don't want to leave.
Well, that's the thing about life...is uh, the surprises. The little things that sneak up on you and grab hold of you. Still happens to me.
A Annie
[It starts snowing]
Yikes. What is this?
A Annie
Oh my God. Talk about surprises.
It hasn't snowed in L.A. since I was nine.
A Annie
Mom's gonna die. What? What is that face?
No. Nothing. I was just thinking.
A Annie
Oh, this is going to end up costing you more money.
No. How I know I'll remember this moment for the rest of my life.
