Rosemary quotes from Easy A (2010)

I'm looking for an Olive.

Rosemary

There's a whole jar of them in the fridge.

I thought this was...

Rosemary

Oh come on in. Any friend of Olive's is a friend of our daughters. [calling upstairs] Olive! Sweetie, there's a young man here to see you. He said something about asking for your hand in marriage!!

Olive

Oh happy day mama! Oh, I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness!! A gentleman caller, hooray!!!

Rosemary

That boy from yesterday just dropped this off for you...

Olive

Well, put it in the pile of gifts from my other suitors.

Rosemary

He seems like a nice kid. He seemed a little incredibly gay...

Olive

Dyed in the wool homosexual, that boy is.

Rosemary

I just want you to know your father and I are totally supportive. We love you no matter what the sexual orientation of your opposite sex sex partner...

Olive

We are not dating, Mom.

Rosemary

...and don't worry about not making us grandparents. Although we were kind of hoping you'd get "knocked up" so we'd have a second shot at raising kids, really do it right this time.

Olive

Bye now...

Rosemary

You know, I dated a homosexual once. For a long time, actually... a long time...

Olive

Dear God, dear Lord, tell me you didn't marry and have children with him!

Rosemary

No.

Rosemary

No, no. Your father is as straight as they come. A little too straight, if you know what I mean, girlfriend.

Olive

I don't...

Olive

Guys, I want you to know that if you hear I have chlamydia, that is totally false.

Rosemary

Olive, do we need to have the talk again?

Olive

No. It's just a thing that's going around.

You know, nothing you're saying is making me feel any better.

Rosemary

Not to mention how you have been dressing these past few days. No judgment, but you kind of look like a stripper.

Olive

Mom!

A high-end stripper, for governors or athletes, but a stripper nonetheless.

Rosemary

I had a similar situation when I was your age. I had a horrible reputation.

Olive

Why?

Rosemary

Because I was a slut. I slept with a whole bunch of people. A slew, a heap, a peck. Mostly guys.

Olive

Mom!
...

Olive

Can you not see that I'm a mess?

Rosemary

No, you're not, Olive. You're wonderful. And you'll handle this the same way I did. With an incontrovertible sense of humor. But you're much smarter than I am, so you'll come out of this much better than I did.

Olive

Thank you, Mom.