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Easy A

Easy A quotes

27 total quotes

Olive Penderghast

View Quote Mrs. Griffith: I'm the guidance counselor. I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes.
View Quote Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus.
View Quote Brandon: I'm looking for an Olive.
Rosemary: There's a whole jar of them in the fridge.
Brandon: I thought this was...
Rosemary: Oh come on in. Any friend of Olive's is a friend of our daughters. [calling upstairs] Olive! Sweetie, there's a young man here to see you. He said something about asking for your hand in marriage!!
Olive: Oh happy day mama! Oh, I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry on booze and pills to numb the loneliness!! A gentleman caller, hooray!!!
View Quote Brandon: So what's with your new look? It's very whore couture.
Olive: Oh, haven't you heard? I'm the new school slut.
Brandon: You know, I did hear something. I also heard he was twice your age.
Olive: Oh, no no no no. He was a freshman in college.
Brandon: I also heard he gave you crabs.
Olive: Ew! People suck!
Brandon: Tell me about it.
View Quote Dill: Is everything alright? It sounds like you're having sex in here...Which can't be true due to the fact that you have a homosexual boyfriend.
Olive: [angry] He's not my boyfriend!
Dill: Hey, no judgment. All God's children. It's fine. I was gay once...for a while. No big deal. We all do it. It's okay.
View Quote Marianne: [stapling papers] Looks like someone's on a downward spiral.
Olive: Looks like someone's practicing the mundane activity she'll be saddled with the rest of her pathetic life.
View Quote Marianne: There's a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.
Olive: Tom Cruise?
View Quote Mr Griffith: I don't know what your generation's fascination is with do****enting your every thought...but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds. "Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof." Who gives a rat's ass?
Olive: He got a Coke Zero again? Oh that Roman, incorrigible.
View Quote Mrs. Griffith: Olive, life is full of choices. I made a bad one. But then, so did you. But I see no other alternative than to just live with the guilt. My guilt stems from my indiscretion and yours for lying. We made our choices. Now, we just have to let it ride.
Olive: Or I could just tell everyone the truth and have you fired and put in jail.
Mrs. Griffith: Okay, first of all, he is of age, okay!? It's perfectly legal in the state of California. I checked! He is 21 in eight months. And secondly, let's play the "Who Would You Believe game," okay? Why don't you ask yourself, if you were an adult, who would you believe? Who would you believe!? Who would you believe!? Who would you believe!? Who!?! ...Thank you for coming in.
View Quote Nina: Perhaps you should embroider a red "A" on your wardrobe, you abominable tramp.
Olive: Perhaps you should get a wardrobe you abominable twat.
View Quote Olive: Does it ever bother you that your boyfriend is 22 years old and still in high school?
Marianne: Because, Olive, it's His choice!
Olive: Oh, really? His choice? He just wants to be repeating his senior year for, like, the fourth time 'cause he can't pass a single test?
Marianne: No, silly, [gestures up] His. His, with a capital H. If the Good Lord had wanted Micah to graduate, he would have given him the right answers.
Olive: [laughs] I'm sorry, but, I mean, really? You gotta be shittin' me, woman.
View Quote Olive: Guys, I want you to know that if you hear I have chlamydia, that is totally false.
Rosemary: Olive, do we need to have the talk again?
Olive: No. It's just a thing that's going around.
Dill: You know, nothing you're saying is making me feel any better.
Rosemary: Not to mention how you have been dressing these past few days. No judgment, but you kind of look like a stripper.
Olive: Mom!
Dill: A high-end stripper, for governors or athletes, but a stripper nonetheless.
View Quote Olive: How do you know where I live?
Todd: We used to carpool.
Olive: Yeah, in 2nd grade. What, are you like a savant for people's addresses?
Todd: Just for people who I think are cool.
Olive: You think I'm cool?
Todd: I do. And I think you're pretty and smart.
Olive: Did you form this opinion prior to my little transformation?
Todd: Way prior.
Olive: Why didn't that rumor spread?
Todd: I like to keep my business to myself. Notoriety, for whatever reason, never seems to benefit the noted, only the "notees."
Olive: Where were you two weeks ago?
Todd: Olive. If I promise not to tell anyone, could I kiss you right now?
Olive: No.
Todd: Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.
Olive: Oh, no. I just mean, not like this. I don't wanna kiss you with mascara running down my face...and some horndog guy just having tried to stick his tongue down my throat. I've wanted to kiss you since 8th grade, but I want it to be perfect. And right now, my life is a mess. I need to get my business in order before I drag you into it.
Todd: What if I told you I wanna be dragged into it? I could help, maybe.
[Olive hugs him and gets out of the car]
Olive: Why now? Why are you all of a sudden into me now?
Todd: I don't know. I haven't overanalyzed it, like you're about to.
View Quote Rhiannon: I want every detail!
Olive: Rhi-
Rhiannon: Now bitch!
Olive: You know, you call me "bitch" a lot. Okay, it's not a term of endearment.
Rhiannon: I want every detail! Now shitface!
Olive: Yeah, you're not heading in the right direction.
View Quote Rhiannon: You're being pretty cavalier about this. Aren't you supposed to be eternally in love with him and shit?
Olive: Yes... I believe so, if I was the Gossip Girl in Sweet Valley of the Traveling Pants. But since I'm not... [shrugs]