Most scenes together: Sue Ellen Crandell & Kenny (8), Sue Ellen Crandell & Melissa (5), Sue Ellen Crandell & Zach (4)
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead quotes
Page 1 of 3Don't feel overwhelmed, just do one thing at a time.
Cynthia, you're my moon goddess.
Bruce Hey, yo, Mad Dog. You want to park the car?
Hellhound We're on a break, dude.
Yeah, park it yourself, Metallica-breath.
Bryan Anyway, the grunyan comes and lays her eggs in the sand and then the guy grunyan, he comes and fertilizes them.
So they don't like do it together?
Bryan No, not like us. I mean like humans.
Bryan I'd respect your privacy if you weren't so secretive.
Well, I'd tell you more if you didn't want to know so much.
Carolyn You... are supposed to go down... to personel. That is on the first... floor. There's a great big sign that says... personel. Do.. you... under... stand?
Yeah.
Isn't your mom like leaving for months?
Oh, you're right. BYE MOM, HAVE A BLAST!
Gus By the end of lunch we'll probably be sharing our intimate histories, stories of our first time. Next thing you know we'll be sharing a cigarette in post-coital bliss.
Are you talking about us having sex?
Gus Hey, hold on, slow down, you're moving too fast for me! But if that's an area you're interested in, it can be arranged. And if it doesn't, I was kidding.
Gus Now are you gonna believe me or are you gonna believe some kid?
I'm gonna believe some kid, go to hell Gus.
She's leaving you guys all alone? what about the kids?
Kenny'll watch Zack, Melissa'll watch Walter and I'll have Mom's car. I can go to the beach, I can stay out as late as i want to, anything! I'm a free woman.
Swell. Will you hurry up? Melissa and Zach are beating each other over the last Sno Ball. It's the last food we got.
This place is a crock. We're never gonna make it through the summer. Man, I'm gonna hold up at Lizard's.
Oh, that's real brotherly of you Kenny. Always taking the easy way out. Don't you have any pride?
No.
I got an idea. When our food runs out, we can eat Elvis.
[the dog Elvis runs out of the room]
Um... what should we do with her body?
Call an ambulance, call the cops, I don't know. Well, I mean they're gonna come and get her and they're gonna ask us a lotta questions...
They'll probably blame us.
They'll definitely call Mom.
SHE'LL blame us.
Yeah, she'll hop the next flight home and then be in our faces.
I don't want Mom to come home.
I don't either.
While you're off at the office all day doing interesting office things, I'm stuck here. Cooking and cleaning and mowing, helping Melissa with her fastball, being a role model for Zach, spending quality time with Walter, doing your party shit! You've got the car and you don't even take me anywhere anymore. And when was the last time we went out to dinner together, huh? You know, I'm sick and tired of not being appreciated.
I appreciate you.
Eat some of this.