Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991) · 39 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991): in 7 of its 39 quotes
Most scenes with: Sue Ellen Crandell (5), Kenny (3), Zach (3)
Melissa How come you gotta go?
Because, I've had a very rough 37 years and I need a break.
Melissa You swore you'd sign me up for baseball.
Little League will still be there next year.
Melissa So will Australia, I wish Dad were around.
No you don't.
Melissa, want to get down from there?
Melissa No.
Get down from there.
Why are you guys wearing name tags?
She says she has trouble remembering things.
Melissa We're supposed to wear them at all times, and she's getting us up at the butt crack of dawn to tidy up the garage.
We told you to talk to her. We didn't want you to send her to the glue factory.
I didn't kill her, Zach. She died in her sleep.
Melissa Probably choked on her whistle.
Um... what should we do with her body?
Call an ambulance, call the cops, I don't know. Well, I mean they're gonna come and get her and they're gonna ask us a lotta questions...
They'll probably blame us.
They'll definitely call Mom.
Melissa SHE'LL blame us.
Yeah, she'll hop the next flight home and then be in our faces.
I don't want Mom to come home.
I don't either.
This place is a crock. We're never gonna make it through the summer. Man, I'm gonna hold up at Lizard's.
Oh, that's real brotherly of you Kenny. Always taking the easy way out. Don't you have any pride?
No.
Melissa I got an idea. When our food runs out, we can eat Elvis.
[the dog Elvis runs out of the room]
Sure she's gonna fit?
How should I know? I've never done this before.
Well, neither have I.
I think we should measure her first.
Melissa Let's hack off her head!
Uh, alright, go get that, uh, metal tape measure thing out of the garage.
Would you stop ordering us around, you're not the babysitter.
That's right Kenny, the babysitter is dead. Now just do it.
