Greg Heffley Let me just say for the record that I think middle school may be the dumbest idea ever invented.
Most-quoted character in Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010): in 11 of its 36 quotes
Most scenes with: Rowley Jefferson (3)
Right now, I have to take abuse from these morons. But in twenty years, Quentin here will be workin' for me.
More lines from Greg Heffley
3 quotes Greg Heffley Greg Heffley Thank God there are a few normal people or this place would be a total freak show.
Greg Heffley She's a girl! Where do I grab her?
Scenes with Greg Heffley
7 scenes Greg Heffley OK, first of all, let me get something straight, this is a journal, not a diary. Yeah, I know what it says on the cover, but when my mom went out to buy this thing, I specifically told her not to buy the thing that says "diary" on it. This just proves that Mom doesn't understand anything about kids my age.
Bully
Sissy! [punches Greg]
Greg The only reason why I agreed to write in this thing, is because one day, when I'm rich and famous, I'll have better things to do than answer people's stupid questions all day long.
Reporter #1
Gregory! Tell us about your childhood!
Reporter #2
Were you always so smart and handsome?
Greg Here's my journal. Now shoo, shoo.
Susan Heffley That's our boy up there.
Frank Heffley
Why did I ever say no to him?
Greg Rowley, if you had to say what you were ranked in terms of popularity from 1 to 200, where would you put yourself?
Is 200 good or bad?
Greg I'd say you're somewhere around the 154 mark. I'd put myself around number 19 or 20. I might even have a shot at the top spot by the end of the year. If things will go the way I think they will.
Well, who's at the bottom?
Hey, guys! You wanna see my secret freckle? [lifts up his shirt]
Greg & Rowley EEEWWW!
Greg [narrating]
Fregley, sent home for hygiene issues at least once a month.
Check it out. It's got a hair in it!
It all starts in middle school, y'know. You're not a kid anymore, the coddling's stopped. Kids aren't separated by intelligence. The weak are picked on. The girls you've known since kindergarten won't even talk to you anymore.
Greg Okay, well it sounds like you've got it all figured out, so go back to your book.
STOP! Good God, man! You almost got the Cheese Touch!
Greg The what?
The Cheese Touch.
Greg We got to stay in this neighborhood the rest of the night.
That guy gave two full-size Snickers!
Greg Did I tell you or did I tell you? These people have money to burn. Can't believe we got this much candy. This is like the best day ever.
Teenager
Hey, reflector dude, nice costume!
Thanks! My mom made it...
Greg [Suddenly, the teenager in the back of the truck sprays a fire extinguister in Greg and Rowley's face]
I saw your plates! We're calling the cops! [Teenagers' truck stops and starts to back up] Uh-oh.
Oh, boy.
Greg RUN!
Remember that secret language we made up last week?
Greg [Flashback] [to Rowley, through walkie-talkie]
Your-pa dad-pa smells-pa like-pa a woman-pa. [Greg and Rowley laugh, as Rowley's dad glares at them appalled]
Greg Fun?! That's the exact opposite of fun! This entire year has been terrible and nobody even cares! My family, my best friend. Well, I'm sick of it. Somebody needs to pay!
