3rd most-quoted character in Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010): in 6 of its 36 quotes
A line from Rodrick HeffleyIt's the bass solo, Turd Burglar! Don't you know anything about music? Listen, I came here to get a new drumstick, and now Greg, since Mom and Dad are gone, I'm going to kill you. Literally kill you!
Rodrick Heffley So, look. Mom asked me to give you some advice about middle school. It's real simple: don't talk to anyone, don't look at anyone, don't go anywhere, don't sit down, don't raise your hand, don't go to the bathroom, don't get noticed, don't choose the wrong locker, don't... [sighs] Who am I kidding? You'll be dead or homeschooled by the end of the year anyway. [patting Greg's head] And don't be seen with Rowley.
Rodrick Heffley What did I tell you would happen if you ever went into my room again?
Rodrick Heffley Beat it.
Rodrick Heffley What? [Greg run offs. Rowley holds onto to Rodrick's leg to stop him] Let go, baby hippo!
Susan Rodrick. Rodrick! I need to talk to you. Inside, now.
Rodrick Go ahead and talk. We're a band. We have no secrets.
Susan Oh, okay. Fine. [holds up the magazine] What is this?
Rodrick It's not mine.
Susan It was in your backpack.
Rodrick No, it was in my room.
Susan Does owning this magazine make you a better person?
Rodrick No.
Susan Did it make you more popular at school?
Rodrick Yes. No.
Susan How do you feel about having owned this type of magazine?
Rodrick Ashamed.
Susan Do you have anything you wanna say to women for having owned this offensive magazine?
Rodrick I'm sorry, women.
Susan You're grounded...for two weeks.
Rodrick Okay, settle down, Susan. I think one week is plenty.
Susan Make it four weeks, and I'm gonna need the keys to your van.
Rodrick My van?!
