Greg Heffley : OK, first of all, let me get something straight, this is a journal , not a diary. Yeah, I know what it says on the cover, but when my mom went out to buy this thing, I specifically told her not to buy the thing that says "diary" on it. This just proves that Mom doesn't understand anything about kids my age. Bully : Sissy! [punches Greg] Greg : The only reason why I agreed to write in this thing, is because one day, when I'm rich and famous, I'll have better things to do than answer people's stupid questions all day long. Reporter #1 : Gregory! Tell us about your childhood! Reporter #2 : Were you always so smart and handsome? Greg : Here's my journal. Now shoo, shoo. Susan Heffley : That's our boy up there. Frank Heffley : Why did I ever say no to him?

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