John Spartan quotes from Demolition Man (1993)
Played by Sylvester Stallone
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When a man like Phoenix has a gun to your head, ten seconds is nine and a half seconds longer than you live.
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[Upon learning that commercial jingles are now considered popular music] Somebody put me back in the fridge.
Scenes with John Spartan
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[At the San Angeles Museum's Hall of Violence]
Museum PA: The Armory exhibit is now sealed. All museum patrons still occupying the facility should remain calm. Help is imminent.
[Phoenix blows the door open with a cannon]
Simon Phoenix: The museum is no longer sealed, is it? [laughs] What can I say? I'm a blast from the past!
John Spartan: You shoulda stayed there.
Phoenix: Oh, boy, that voice sounds familiar. Who is that? [opens fire and forces Spartan to take cover]
Spartan: Bad aim, Blondie!
Phoenix: Spartan? John Spartan? Oh, shit, they let anybody into this century! What the hell are you doing here? [shoots again; Spartan grabs some guns and dives for cover] Simon says, "Bleed!"
Spartan: [to himself] Great. Just great. [aloud] You're making it too easy for me, Phoenix!
Phoenix: [waiting for his AcMag gun to charge up] Come on, you space-age piece of shit. [to Spartan] So let me get this right. They defrosted you just so you could lasso my piddly ass? Damn, you been had! I've been dreaming about killing you for 40 years. [shoots to distract Spartan and escapes into another exhibit hall]
Spartan: Yeah? Well, keep dreaming!
Museum PA: The Armory exhibit is now sealed. All museum patrons still occupying the facility should remain calm. Help is imminent.
[Phoenix blows the door open with a cannon]
Simon Phoenix: The museum is no longer sealed, is it? [laughs] What can I say? I'm a blast from the past!
John Spartan: You shoulda stayed there.
Phoenix: Oh, boy, that voice sounds familiar. Who is that? [opens fire and forces Spartan to take cover]
Spartan: Bad aim, Blondie!
Phoenix: Spartan? John Spartan? Oh, shit, they let anybody into this century! What the hell are you doing here? [shoots again; Spartan grabs some guns and dives for cover] Simon says, "Bleed!"
Spartan: [to himself] Great. Just great. [aloud] You're making it too easy for me, Phoenix!
Phoenix: [waiting for his AcMag gun to charge up] Come on, you space-age piece of shit. [to Spartan] So let me get this right. They defrosted you just so you could lasso my piddly ass? Damn, you been had! I've been dreaming about killing you for 40 years. [shoots to distract Spartan and escapes into another exhibit hall]
Spartan: Yeah? Well, keep dreaming!
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Lenina Huxley: I have been an enthusiast of your escapades for quite some time. I have, in fact, perused some newsreels from the Schwarzenegger Library, and that time that you took that car...
John Spartan: Hold it. The Schwarzenegger Library?
Huxley: Yes. The Schwarzenegger Presidential Library. Wasn't he an actor when you...?
Spartan: Stop! He was President?
Huxley: Yes! Even though he was not born in this country, his popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment which states...
Spartan: I don't wanna know... [incredulously] President...
John Spartan: Hold it. The Schwarzenegger Library?
Huxley: Yes. The Schwarzenegger Presidential Library. Wasn't he an actor when you...?
Spartan: Stop! He was President?
Huxley: Yes! Even though he was not born in this country, his popularity at the time caused the 61st Amendment which states...
Spartan: I don't wanna know... [incredulously] President...
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[John Spartan, Lenina Huxley, and Alfredo Garcia enter the Scraps' underground world; Spartan buys a burger from a street vendor]
Lenina Huxley: I think I'm going to be sick.
John Spartan: [takes a bite, enjoys it] Oh. Oh, God...
Alfredo Garcia: [nauseated] Oh...
Spartan: This is fantastic. You guys gotta try this.
Garcia: Oh, my.
Huxley: Just don't ask where the meat comes from.
Spartan: Huxley, what's that supposed to mean?
Huxley: Do you see any cows around here, Detective?
Spartan: [to vendor, in Spanish] ¿Qué es esta carne? (What is this meat?)
Burger vendor: Esta carne es de rata. (This meat is from rats.)
Spartan: [surprised] Rat. This is a rat burger. [vendor nods] Not bad! Matter of fact, this is the best burger I've had in years!
Burger vendor: Gracias, señor. (Thank you, sir.)
Spartan: [coughing, in Italian] Prego. (You're welcome.) See you later.
Lenina Huxley: I think I'm going to be sick.
John Spartan: [takes a bite, enjoys it] Oh. Oh, God...
Alfredo Garcia: [nauseated] Oh...
Spartan: This is fantastic. You guys gotta try this.
Garcia: Oh, my.
Huxley: Just don't ask where the meat comes from.
Spartan: Huxley, what's that supposed to mean?
Huxley: Do you see any cows around here, Detective?
Spartan: [to vendor, in Spanish] ¿Qué es esta carne? (What is this meat?)
Burger vendor: Esta carne es de rata. (This meat is from rats.)
Spartan: [surprised] Rat. This is a rat burger. [vendor nods] Not bad! Matter of fact, this is the best burger I've had in years!
Burger vendor: Gracias, señor. (Thank you, sir.)
Spartan: [coughing, in Italian] Prego. (You're welcome.) See you later.
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[Lenina Huxley and John Spartan begin using virtual-reality helmets to make love, but Spartan abruptly removes his]
Lenina Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
John Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you yet.
Huxley: But I thought you wanted to make love.
Spartan: Is that what you call this?
Huxley: [puts Spartan's helmet back on his head] Vir-sex has been proven to produce higher orders of alpha waves during digitized transference of sexual energies.
Spartan: All right, Huxley, what do you say we just do it the old-fashioned way? [removes it again]
Huxley: Ugh, disgusting! You mean... fluid transfer?
Spartan: No, I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka...
Huxley: That is no longer done. The exchange of bodily fluids - do you know what that leads to?
Spartan: Yeah, I do! Kids, smoking, a desire to raid the fridge.
Huxley: The rampant exchange of bodily fluids was one of the major reasons for the downfall of society. After AIDS, there was NRS; after NRS, there was UBT. And one of the first things that Dr. Cocteau was able to do was to outlaw and behaviorally engineer all fluid transfer out of societally acceptable behavior. Not even - not even mouth transfer's condoned.
Spartan: Kissing's not allowed? [Huxley shudders at the thought] Damn, I was a good kisser.
Lenina Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
John Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you yet.
Huxley: But I thought you wanted to make love.
Spartan: Is that what you call this?
Huxley: [puts Spartan's helmet back on his head] Vir-sex has been proven to produce higher orders of alpha waves during digitized transference of sexual energies.
Spartan: All right, Huxley, what do you say we just do it the old-fashioned way? [removes it again]
Huxley: Ugh, disgusting! You mean... fluid transfer?
Spartan: No, I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka...
Huxley: That is no longer done. The exchange of bodily fluids - do you know what that leads to?
Spartan: Yeah, I do! Kids, smoking, a desire to raid the fridge.
Huxley: The rampant exchange of bodily fluids was one of the major reasons for the downfall of society. After AIDS, there was NRS; after NRS, there was UBT. And one of the first things that Dr. Cocteau was able to do was to outlaw and behaviorally engineer all fluid transfer out of societally acceptable behavior. Not even - not even mouth transfer's condoned.
Spartan: Kissing's not allowed? [Huxley shudders at the thought] Damn, I was a good kisser.
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[Cocteau's facility has been destroyed]
Chief George Earle: What will we do? How will we live?
Edgar Friendly: I'll tell you what we're gonna do... we're gonna go out drinking, get shit-faced and paint the town literally; put up graffiti, slogans... it'll be a blast!
John Spartan: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm gonna tell you what you're gonna do: [turns to Earle] Why don't you get a little dirty... [turns to Scraps] ...and you, a lot clean. And somewhere in the middle... I don't know, you'll figure it out.
Alfredo Garcia: ****in' A!
Spartan: Well put.
Chief George Earle: What will we do? How will we live?
Edgar Friendly: I'll tell you what we're gonna do... we're gonna go out drinking, get shit-faced and paint the town literally; put up graffiti, slogans... it'll be a blast!
John Spartan: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm gonna tell you what you're gonna do: [turns to Earle] Why don't you get a little dirty... [turns to Scraps] ...and you, a lot clean. And somewhere in the middle... I don't know, you'll figure it out.
Alfredo Garcia: ****in' A!
Spartan: Well put.
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