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The Chumscrubber

The Chumscrubber quotes

24 total quotes

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The Chumscrubber




View Quote Dean Stiffle: [talking to Billy in the phone] What do you want? What are you talking about, man? Who?
Billy: We got Charlie. Your brother. We kidnapped your brother. I got him right now. He's scared shitless.
Dean Stiffle: Why did you kidnap my brother?
Billy: So you know I'm not ****ing around. I want the stuff from Troy.
Dean Stiffle: I already told you...
Billy: I don't think you're listening. You are going to get me Troy's drugs.
Dean Stiffle: Or what?
Billy: Don't push me, psycho.
Dean Stiffle: Or what?
Billy: I'll kill him. That's what I'm gonna kill him. I'm not ****ing around, man. I swear to God! I'll cut off his ****ing head!
Dean Stiffle: Fine. Kill him. [hangs up]
Crystal Falls: Billy, what did he say?
Billy: He said for us to kill him. Maybe he is crazy.
View Quote Dean Stiffle: Dad, if you write about me again in another one of your stupid books, I'm going to kill you.
Dr. Bill Stiffle: Stupid? There are several major book chains around this country that will disagree with you on that point.
View Quote Dr. Bill Stiffle: How do you feel about the suicide of your best friend in the world?
Dean Stiffle: [pause] Real shitty.
View Quote Dr. Bill Stiffle: Mrs. Johnson suspects that Troy might have been selling drugs to some other kids at school.
Dean Stiffle: Yeah?
Dr. Bill Stiffle: How do you feel about that?
Dean Stiffle: I feel that it must have been unfulfilling for him.
Dr. Bill Stiffle: That's very interesting. Why do you say that?
Dean Stiffle: Because he killed himself.
View Quote Lee: He won't die!
Billy: You wuss!
Lee: He's stronger than he looks!
Billy: Here! Stab him!
Lee: Where?
Billy: I don't know! In the stomach or something!
Lee: [stabs Charlie] Shit!
Charley Bratley: You stabbed me in the stomach!
Billy: Is it deep?
Lee: [to Charlie] Is it deep?
Charley Bratley: [pause] **** you!
Billy: [sighs] No, it's not deep.
Lee: Well, ****ing pardon me!
View Quote Mr. Parker: Those kids again, Lee?
Lee: We're doing a group project.
Mr. Parker: With them, Lee? You think they care what grades you get?
Lee: Mom...
Mr. Parker: Look, son, you let your grades go now, maybe you don't get into a top tier school.
Lee: Yeah.
Mr. Parker: You don't get into a top tier school, maybe you settle for a second-rate job. Maybe you don't have the life you want. Maybe each and every day you wake up and wanna crawl back into bed and tell the world to go to hell.
Mrs. Parker: We're just saying, you've worked too hard to blow it in your last year.
'Mr. Parker: We've all worked hard together.
View Quote Mr. Peck: Who put that knife in the wall?
Billy: I did.
Mr. Peck:You're gonna fix that.
Billy: It's my room.
Mr. Peck: No this is not your room. This is a room in my house. This is my room.
Billy: So then you can fix it.
View Quote Mrs. Johnson: [at Troy's memorial] It's my fault. I know it is. I didn't even know him. I didn't know my own son.
Dean Stiffle: Try wanted to play guitar in a rock band -be famous- but he knew he wasn't any good and he felt stupid for wishing that. He had a crush on this girl since he was 13, that he'd never talked to. But he probably wished he would've. He liked you, but he felt sorry for you. He was afraid he'd be like his dad. He was really, really smart, but he kept all his ideas to himself, unless you asked. He took great pictures of people without them even knowing. I miss him, you know? He was my friend. He was my best friend. And I hate myself that I didn't even know he was about to do this.
[pause]
Mrs. Johnson: Thank you.
View Quote [on a morbid cartoon everyone is watching] I live in a city, but in an apartment high above the cloud left by the blast. I'm one of the lucky ones. One morning, I awoke to find my head was no longer attached to my body. I'm not dead, but who could call this a life? So I do what I can, in this city of freaks and subhuman creatures. I became... The Chumscrubber.