Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in The Chumscrubber (2005): in 8 of its 24 quotes
Most scenes with: Dean Stiffle (4), Billy (4)
Scenes with Crystal Falls
8 scenes
[talking to Billy in the phone]
What do you want? What are you talking about, man? Who?
We got Charlie. Your brother. We kidnapped your brother. I got him right now. He's scared shitless.
Why did you kidnap my brother?
So you know I'm not **** around. I want the stuff from Troy.
I don't think you're listening. You are going to get me Troy's drugs.
I'll kill him. That's what I'm gonna kill him. I'm not **** around, man. I swear to God! I'll cut off his **** head!
Fine. Kill him. [hangs up]
Crystal Falls Billy, what did he say?
He said for us to kill him. Maybe he is crazy.
Crystal Falls [after Crystal's friends have mocked Troy's death to humiliate Dean]
Look, I just wanted to apologize for what happened back there.
Crystal Falls No, but my friends did.
Some pretty nice friends you got there.
Crystal Falls What are you saying? It's better to have no friends at all?
Crystal Falls I don't think you're crazy.
You know, there are several major book chains that would be willing to disagree with you on that point.
Crystal Falls How do you eat that?
In pretty much the standard way.
Crystal Falls You know, if I ate that everyday, I would get a big fat ass.
Is that your greatest fear?
Crystal Falls No, but it's my mother's greatest wish.
Crystal Falls No, just fatter than her.
Crystal Falls [Billy is playing Charlie's tuba]
What are you doing?
I was thinking of going out for marching band. It seems to be what all the chicks are into, you know?
Crystal Falls Yeah, Charlie nailed me all night long. It was unreal.
Crystal Falls [Billy throws down the tuba, destroying it]
Oh my god, Billy - why would you do that?
Because I'm a stupid bastard?
[to Charlie]
Hey, shitballs, come here. I want to show you something. Now, when you get to high school, if anyone tries to kick your ass - well, you're probably gonna get your ass kicked anyways, but if you weren't such a pussy, you could try this. Come at me, hit me in the chest.
[Charlie weakly hits him]
No, really come at me like you got a pair.
[Charlie lunges at Billy, who tosses him across the room]
Good! That was good!
Crystal Falls Oh, my God, Billy! Are you hurt, Charlie?
He's about half your size, man.
Are you **** kidding me? We **** kidnapped this **** kid! Am I the only person who **** remembers that?
Crystal Falls I probably would have ended up with a football player if I hadn't met you. And I'm not gonna lie - you've really kept it interesting, but I'm done.
What the **** are you talking about?
Crystal Falls Don't pretend you're someone you're not, because after a while you forget you were acting, and so will everyone else.
Other characters in The Chumscrubber
