Jasper Pull my finger. (Luke shoots his finger off.) **** you.
2nd most-quoted character in Children of Men (2006): in 6 of its 24 quotes
Most scenes with: Theodore Faron (3)
Your baby is the miracle the whole world has been waiting for.
More lines from Jasper
1 quote Jasper Scenes with Jasper
4 scenes Jasper Everything is a mythical, cosmic battle between faith and chance.
Jasper You already did. Take another one. Now cough. What do you taste?
Strawberries!
Jasper Strawberries? That's what it's called: Strawberry Cough!
Wicked!
Jasper So. You've got faith over here, right? And chance over there.
Like yin and yang.
Jasper Sort of.
Or Shiva and Shakti.
Jasper Lennon and McCartney!
Jasper Yeah, there you go! Julian and Theo met among a million protestors in a rally by chance. But they were there because of what they believed in in the first place, their faith. They wanted to change the world. And their faith kept them together. But by chance, Dylan was born.
Jasper Yeah, that's him. He'd have been about your age. Magical child. Beautiful. Their faith put in praxis.
"Praxis"? What happened?
Jasper Chance. He was their sweet little dream. He had little hands, little legs, little feet. Little lungs. And in 2008, along came the flu pandemic. And then, by chance, he was gone. You see, Theo's faith lost out to chance. So, why bother if life's going to make its own choices?
Baby's got Theo's eyes.
Jasper Yeah.
Oh, boy. That's terrible. But, you know, everything happens for a reason.
Jasper That, I don't know. But Theo and Julian would always bring Dylan. He loved it here.
Jasper Any girls?
No.
Jasper What about the one we had lunch with? Lauren?
Lorna. That was ages ago.
Jasper I liked her. What happened?
She decided to renounce.
Jasper Renouncers? Are those the ones that kneel down for a month for salvation?
No. They're the Repenters. The Renouncers flagellate themselves for the forgiveness of humanity.
Jasper Oh, right. Dating ain't what it used to be, is it, amigo?
Jasper So, Human Project is having this dinner and all the wisest men in the world are there...
"Human Project." Why do people believe this crap? You know, even if these people existed with these facilities in secret locations... **** me, that's strong. Even if they discovered the cure for infertility, it doesn't matter. Too late. The world went to shit. You know what? It was too late before the infertility thing happened, for ****'s sake.
Jasper I was just trying to tell a joke, man.
Oh, I'm sorry, go on.
Jasper No, I'm not tellin' it now!
No, c'mon Jasper, go on!
Jasper No, **** it! I'm not tellin' it to you!
C'mon, I'm sorry!
Jasper OK, the Human Project gives this great big dinner for all the scientists and sages in the world. They're tossing around theories about the ultimate mystery, why are women infertile? Why can't we make babies anymore? Some of them say it's genetic experiments, gamma rays, pollution. Same old, same old. Anyway, in the corner, this Englishman's sitting. He hasn't said a word. He's just tucking into his dinner. So they decide to ask him. They say, "Well, why do you think we can't make babies anymore?" And he looks up at them, and he's chewing on this great big wing, and he says, "I haven't the faintest idea," he said. "But this stork is quite tasty, isn't it?"
Jasper What did you do for your birthday?
Nothing.
Jasper Oh come on, you must have done something.
Nope. Woke up, felt like shit. Went to work, felt like shit.
Jasper That's called a hangover, Amigo.
Other characters in Children of Men
More Michael Caine characters
Finn McMissile
Peachy Carnehan
Jack Carter
Victor Melling
Nigel Powers
Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead
Dr. Royer-Collard
Alfred Pennyworth