Most scenes together: Jasper & Theodore Faron (3), Theodore Faron & Kee (2), Theodore Faron & Julian Taylor (2)
Any girls?
No.
What about the one we had lunch with? Lauren?
Lorna. That was ages ago.
I liked her. What happened?
She decided to renounce.
Renouncers? Are those the ones that kneel down for a month for salvation?
No. They're the Repenters. The Renouncers flagellate themselves for the forgiveness of humanity.
Oh, right. Dating ain't what it used to be, is it, amigo?
Everything is a mythical, cosmic battle between faith and chance.
You already did. Take another one. Now cough. What do you taste?
Strawberries!
Strawberries? That's what it's called: Strawberry Cough!
Wicked!
So. You've got faith over here, right? And chance over there.
Like yin and yang.
Sort of.
Or Shiva and Shakti.
Lennon and McCartney!
Yeah, there you go! Julian and Theo met among a million protestors in a rally by chance. But they were there because of what they believed in in the first place, their faith. They wanted to change the world. And their faith kept them together. But by chance, Dylan was born.
Yeah, that's him. He'd have been about your age. Magical child. Beautiful. Their faith put in praxis.
"Praxis"? What happened?
Chance. He was their sweet little dream. He had little hands, little legs, little feet. Little lungs. And in 2008, along came the flu pandemic. And then, by chance, he was gone. You see, Theo's faith lost out to chance. So, why bother if life's going to make its own choices?
Baby's got Theo's eyes.
Yeah.
Oh, boy. That's terrible. But, you know, everything happens for a reason.
That, I don't know. But Theo and Julian would always bring Dylan. He loved it here.
So, Human Project is having this dinner and all the wisest men in the world are there...
"Human Project." Why do people believe this crap? You know, even if these people existed with these facilities in secret locations... **** me, that's strong. Even if they discovered the cure for infertility, it doesn't matter. Too late. The world went to shit. You know what? It was too late before the infertility thing happened, for ****'s sake.
I was just trying to tell a joke, man.
Oh, I'm sorry, go on.
No, I'm not tellin' it now!
No, c'mon Jasper, go on!
No, **** it! I'm not tellin' it to you!
C'mon, I'm sorry!
OK, the Human Project gives this great big dinner for all the scientists and sages in the world. They're tossing around theories about the ultimate mystery, why are women infertile? Why can't we make babies anymore? Some of them say it's genetic experiments, gamma rays, pollution. Same old, same old. Anyway, in the corner, this Englishman's sitting. He hasn't said a word. He's just tucking into his dinner. So they decide to ask him. They say, "Well, why do you think we can't make babies anymore?" And he looks up at them, and he's chewing on this great big wing, and he says, "I haven't the faintest idea," he said. "But this stork is quite tasty, isn't it?"
What did you do for your birthday?
Nothing.
Oh come on, you must have done something.
Nope. Woke up, felt like shit. Went to work, felt like shit.
That's called a hangover, Amigo.
Kee, this is Theo.
What the **** you staring at?
Apparently the pleasure's all mine. Are we planning a sing-along? Good. I'm gonna take a nap.
You told me he was suave. Wanker's a drunk.
He's suave. You should have seen him in the old days when he was a real activist.
You were the activist, I just wanted to get laid.
Day one thousand of the siege of Seattle. The Muslim community demands an end to the Army's occupation of mosques. The Homeland Security bill is ratified. After eight years, British borders will remain closed. The deportation of illegal immigrants will continue. Good morning. Our lead story. The world was stunned today by the death of Diego Ricardo, the youngest person on the planet. Baby Diego was stabbed outside a bar in Buenos Aires after refusing to sign an autograph.
Nigel That thing in Madrid was a real blow to art.
Not to mention people.
Patric This never **** happened. Don't go telling tales, cause' we'll be watching you. At work. When you sleep. When you have a piss we'll be watching. All the **** time.
Jeez, your breath stinks.
Patric No it doesn't.
Yes it does.
Radio Announcer And now one for all the nostalgics out there. A blast from the past all the way back from 2003, that beautiful time when people refused to accept that the future was just around the corner.
You kill me. A hundred years from now, there won't be one sad **** to look at any of this. What keeps you going?
Nigel You know what it is, Theo? I just don't think about it.
All right. You're fugees now. Show Syd the fugee face. Sad face. Sad fugee face.
As the sound of the playgrounds faded, the despair set in. Very odd, what happens in a world without children's voices.
Day 1,000 of the Siege of Seattle.
The Muslim community demands an end to the Army's occupation of mosques.
The Homeland Security bill is ratified. After eight years, British borders will remain closed. The deportation of illegal immigrants will continue. Good morning. Our lead story.
