Caddyshack quotes
107 total quotesMultiple Characters
Spaulding Smails
Ty Webb
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Motormouth: I often thought of becoming a golf club.
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Czervik: Hey! Can you make a bullshot?
Tony: Can you make a shoe smell?
Czervik: [giving him $20] Very funny. Why don't you get yourself a real haircut? Here, take this.
Tony: Can you make a shoe smell?
Czervik: [giving him $20] Very funny. Why don't you get yourself a real haircut? Here, take this.
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Czervik: Judge, give someone else a chance! You lucky devil! Come here, honey! And loosen up! You're a lot of woman, you know? You wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?
Mrs. Smails: You! You! You're no gentleman!
Czervik: I'm no doorknob, either.
Mrs. Smails: You! You! You're no gentleman!
Czervik: I'm no doorknob, either.
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Lacey: Pretty pathetic, Ty.
Ty: Pathetic? Maybe for you, Lacey. For me, there's a subtle perfection in everything I do. I've got my own standards, my own way.
Lacey: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty: Your uncle molests collies. You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
Ty: Pathetic? Maybe for you, Lacey. For me, there's a subtle perfection in everything I do. I've got my own standards, my own way.
Lacey: My uncle says you've got a screw loose.
Ty: Your uncle molests collies. You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
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Chuck: Hey, what kind of shit is this?
Spaulding: It's the best, man. I got it from a N**ro.
Lacey: You're probably so high already you don't even know it.
Spaulding: It's the best, man. I got it from a N**ro.
Lacey: You're probably so high already you don't even know it.
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Lacey: This is your fate line. You're going to make a lot of money when you're older.
Danny: Yeah? When? How?
Lacey: Could be in the market or on a game show. And this is your saliva line.
Danny: What does it tell?
Lacey: [licks Danny's hand] How hot I can get you.
Danny: Yeah? When? How?
Lacey: Could be in the market or on a game show. And this is your saliva line.
Danny: What does it tell?
Lacey: [licks Danny's hand] How hot I can get you.
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Danny: Judge Smails, sir?
Judge Smails: Sit down, Danny. I think you know why you're here. So I'll do us the courtesy of not reviewing what happened yesterday. My niece is the kind of girl that has a certain zest for living. The last thing any of us needs now is a lot of loose talk about her behavior.
Danny: I swear I didn't tell anybody anything, sir.
Judge Smails: Good. Good. You know, despite what happened I'm still convinced that you have many fine qualities. I think you can still become a gentleman someday if you understand and abide by the rules of decent society. There's a lot of...well, badness in the world today. I see it in court every day. I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. I didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them. The most important decision you can make right now is what you stand for. Goodness...or badness.
Danny: I've made some mistakes in the past. I'm willing to make up for that. I want to be good!
Judge Smails: Very good! I know how hard it is for young people today and I want to help. Just ask my grandson, Spaulding. He and I are regular pals. Are you my pal......"Mr. Scholarship Winner"?
Danny: Yes, sir! I'm your pal!
Judge Smails: How about a Fresca?
Judge Smails: Sit down, Danny. I think you know why you're here. So I'll do us the courtesy of not reviewing what happened yesterday. My niece is the kind of girl that has a certain zest for living. The last thing any of us needs now is a lot of loose talk about her behavior.
Danny: I swear I didn't tell anybody anything, sir.
Judge Smails: Good. Good. You know, despite what happened I'm still convinced that you have many fine qualities. I think you can still become a gentleman someday if you understand and abide by the rules of decent society. There's a lot of...well, badness in the world today. I see it in court every day. I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. I didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them. The most important decision you can make right now is what you stand for. Goodness...or badness.
Danny: I've made some mistakes in the past. I'm willing to make up for that. I want to be good!
Judge Smails: Very good! I know how hard it is for young people today and I want to help. Just ask my grandson, Spaulding. He and I are regular pals. Are you my pal......"Mr. Scholarship Winner"?
Danny: Yes, sir! I'm your pal!
Judge Smails: How about a Fresca?
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Dr. Beeper: Webb, I didn't see your name on the sign-in sheet for the Club tournament. I thought you'd be the man to beat this year.
Ty: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.
Ty: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.
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Judge Smails: I demand satisfaction!
Czervik: Oh, you want satisfaction? I'll tell you what's real satisfying...cash! I'll shoot you 18 holes for $10,000.
Judge Smails: [laughs] Why, I could beat you with one arm.
Czervik: How about teams for $20,000? You can have "Dr. Frankenputz."
Dr. Beeper: I beg your pardon!
Czervik: And I'll take Ty.
Ty: Hey, fellows. Don't include me. I don't have time.
Czervik: Come on, Ty, you're an ace. Everybody knows it.
Ty: I don't play golf, for money, against people.
Czervik: What are you, religious or something?
Ty: You might say that.
Czervik: Oh, you want satisfaction? I'll tell you what's real satisfying...cash! I'll shoot you 18 holes for $10,000.
Judge Smails: [laughs] Why, I could beat you with one arm.
Czervik: How about teams for $20,000? You can have "Dr. Frankenputz."
Dr. Beeper: I beg your pardon!
Czervik: And I'll take Ty.
Ty: Hey, fellows. Don't include me. I don't have time.
Czervik: Come on, Ty, you're an ace. Everybody knows it.
Ty: I don't play golf, for money, against people.
Czervik: What are you, religious or something?
Ty: You might say that.
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Judge Smails: Can I have a word with you? In private.
Ty: Sure thing, Judge.
Judge Smails: Your father and I prepped together, went to war together, played golf together. We built this Club, he and I! Let's face it. Some people simply do not belong. Let's not...cave in too easy. What do you say, Ty?
[Ty and Judge Smails laugh]
Ty: Let's make it $40,000.
Czervik: Great!
Ty: My dad...never liked you.
Ty: Sure thing, Judge.
Judge Smails: Your father and I prepped together, went to war together, played golf together. We built this Club, he and I! Let's face it. Some people simply do not belong. Let's not...cave in too easy. What do you say, Ty?
[Ty and Judge Smails laugh]
Ty: Let's make it $40,000.
Czervik: Great!
Ty: My dad...never liked you.
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Porterhouse: Fifty bucks says the Smails kid picks his nose.
Lou: You're on.
Porterhouse: All right, kid, take your time.
[Spaulding picks his nose]
Lou: Double or nothing he eats it.
Porterhouse: Don't do it, kid!
[Spaulding eats it]
Porterhouse: That kid will eat anything!
Lou: He was hungry.
Lou: You're on.
Porterhouse: All right, kid, take your time.
[Spaulding picks his nose]
Lou: Double or nothing he eats it.
Porterhouse: Don't do it, kid!
[Spaulding eats it]
Porterhouse: That kid will eat anything!
Lou: He was hungry.