Thank you all for coming here on such a short notice. Now, before we begin... [Is the kid listening?]
Yes, sir!
Sure is!
Affirmative!
Jimbo, run some interference.
Tim
Hey!
We babies are having a crisis!
Oh no!
That's awful!
Horrible!
What is it?
Well, it's simpler if I just show you. Teddy, if you please.
Let's put on a show!
Oh. [Staci gasps]
Here we go!
Jimbo, hit the lights. [Jimbo hits lights] You see, babies aren't getting as much love as we used to.
Why? Have we been bad?
No, Staci. But I'll tell you who is. Behold our mortal enemy. Puppies!
Aww!
No, no, that's exactly the problem!
Tim
Puppies? What's the deal with puppies?
Throughout history, people have loved babies more than anything in the world. We've always been must-have item, number one on every wish list. Puppies were merely accessories. But all that changed when the puppies began coming out with new designer models. Each one more adorable than the last. Remember the Labradoodle? The Peekaboo? The Chiweenie? Try to say "Chiweenie" without smiling. [All: Chiwee...] Not possible, don't waste your time. We all laughed at the Shar Pei. [Jimbo laughs] And now it's number one in China.
Oh no!
That's terrible!
Horrible!
Yes. And it gets even worse. Francis Francis, the CEO of Puppy Co, made this announcement. Teddy, roll the clip.
Francis Francis
And we are on schedule to release the most adorable puppy ever! We're gonna launch it at the pet convention in Las Vegas! Watch out, world! It's gonna crush the competition!
Yay!
No, Jimbo. No "yay". We are the competition! This is war. Puppies are winning, and babies are losing. Thank you, Teddy. And if this new puppy is as cute as we fear, it could put the baby business out of business, baby.
Uh-oh!
That's awful!
Bad news, baby!
What are we going to do?
My job is to find out exactly what that new puppy is, so that Baby Corp can stop it. And you're going to help me.
Genius!
Home run!
You still got it, boss!
Yay!
Yay. Now, your parents all work for Puppy Co. So, have you learned anything from them?
Yes, sir!
Sure did!
Mm-hm!
Fantastic. Triplets, go!
A, B, C, D.
No, what have you learned about the new puppy?
Yay, puppy!
No, Jimbo! Puppies are evil! Staci, read back the notes.
I can't read. What's it say? [?]
THIS IS MY TEAM!? A muscle-head, a bunch of yes men, and a doodler?
Exactly!
Affirmative!
Good call!
Oh yeah!
Nice one, BB!
Tim
Gotcha!
PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN! Cookies are for closers.
Let's have another show!
No, Teddy! No! [Staci cries]
How about a hug?
No more shows!
Boss!
There's plenty of love to go around!
Teddy, go to sleep!
Nighty-night... [faints]
Boss, Boss!
WHAT?!
PARENTS!
Aww! It's like they're having their own little meeting! [The parents begin taking pictures of the babies, Boss Baby is eating his foot, Staci is throwing her papers in the air, and Jimbo is eating all the cookies]
Isn't that adorable?
Who wants dessert?
God, this is so humiliating! [it repeats on the tape]
Tim
Wait until Mom and Dad hear this. [gasps, finds Boss Baby and his infants]
Hey, Templeton, what you got there?
Tim
Uh, nothing.
Hand over the tape.
Tim
Never! [rushes outside and finds Janice and Ted inside] Mom! Dad! Over here!
Hi, Timmy!
Hi! Anyway... [Tim gets surrounded by Boss Baby and his infants. They are in vehicles. Staci is in a kid's flower bike.]
Flower power! [Jimbo rolls his ball popper. The triplets are in a firetruck. Boss Baby is in a police car.]
You can't get away from Johnny Law, simpleton. [The chase starts.]
Tim
Ha! [runs]
Fasten your seat belt! Let's go! [Staci gets stuck in a sandbox, and pouts]
Run, run, run, run, run... [crashes through a fence. The triplets ride in the firetruck and snatch the tape]
Tim
Hey!
Ha-ha! [Tim finds the hose rolling out]
Tim
Hmm.
Uh-oh! [Tim ties the hose to a pole with tap and yanks it really hard, which sends the triplets and the tape flying]
WHOA!
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run! Catch, catch, catch, catch, catch, catch! [catches them, and the firetruck hits the ground explodes, sending the tape flying]
Tim
Whoa!
Yes! [grabs the tape and flies in the air then comes back to the ground] Oh, yeah! [finds Tim in the police car, then Tim splutters] Let go, you little... [The scene cuts to Ted and Janice looking outside a window]
Oh, look, the kids are finally getting along.
That's nice! [Janice and Ted clink glasses together. The scene cuts back to backyard. Boss Baby swings Tim around, then falls onto the grass, the babies come in, Boss Baby makes a throat cutting gesture, and the babies charge]
Tim
Sayonara! [rides a rope into his treehouse, and grabs suction cup darts and a Nerf gun] You wanna play? Let's play! [uses a paper clip and swings down on a rope and shoots suction cup darts at Jimbo]
NOOOOO! Save Boss! Save Boss! [gets suction cup darts on him. The tape drops. Tim grabs the tape]
Get him!
I got him, I got him, I got him! [Tim jumps on a trampoline into the window of the house, and Staci and the triplets bounce on the trampoline, unable to reach the window. Staci flies into the air and gets stuck in a tree]
Tim
You're toast, baby man!
Upsies! I need upsieeees! [Jimbo twirls him, and Boss Baby flies into a window, breaking it.]
Who wants... [drops the plate] cheese-sticks! [They look at the mess.]
Oh! [Jimbo stands still, and the toy firetruck is behind him on fire.] Oh! [The triplets play with the broken glass from the window that Jimbo threw Boss Baby into it.] Oh! [Staci is stuck in the tree. She looks at them, with a confused expression on her face, and cries.]
Tim
Mom, Dad! I've got proof! [Boss Baby runs in his walker and gets vampire teeth, then growls and bites Tim on the leg] Ah! [Boss Baby tumbles, and Tim slides down the stairs] Oh, someone can't go down the stairs? Ha!
Nothing can stop me! [rolls down the stairs, then Tim opens the door, and he rolls outside, and Tim closes the door]
Tim
Mom, Dad! Where are you guys? Hello! Where did everyone go? [runs into the office room] Mom, Dad! The baby can talk!
Oh, can he now? [turns to Tim in a chair]
Tim
Wait, how did you...?
Hand over the tape, Timmy, or Lam-Lam gets it, see? [grabs a stapler]
Tim
No!
What's that, Lam-Lam? Oh, you want a nose ring? Well, it's really not my scene, but who am I to judge!? [staples Lam-Lam's nose, then Tim whimpers] And an eyebrow ring. Seems like a little bit too much, Lam-Lam! [staples Lam-Lam's eyebrow]
Tim
Ah!
How's that gonna look in a job interview?
Tim
Stop it!
The tape, Timmy, or I'm gonna rip-rip-rip-rip-rip-rip-rip...
Tim
NOOOOO! [grabs Lam-Lam and they tug at her] Let go!
You let go!
Tim
You let go!
Give me the tape!
Tim
Give me Lam-Lam! [pauses; gasps, seeing Lam-Lam ripped, then glares at Boss Baby]
Whoops! Too far! [Tim grunts, grabs him] Templeton, Templeton, let’s be reasonable! We can be reasonable, right? What are you doing?!
Tim
You've been asking for this since you got here! [puts the jumper up on the window]
We can talk about this over a juice box!
Tim
Time for juice boxes is over!
No, no, Templeton! You wouldn't!
Tim
Say bye-bye, baby! You're fired!
Tim, what are you doing?!
Tim
Nothing. [Boss Baby looks at Ted, and cries. Tim let us go of the jumper, accidentally shoots the tape out the window, then it lands onto the road and gets run over in tape is brokeness by a passing car, horrified, gasps] My proof! [Boss Baby grins triumphantly]
Tim! [takes Boss Baby] Explain yourself!
Yes, explain yourself!
Tim
It wasn't me! It was the baby's fault!
The baby's fault?
Tim
It's true, he can talk! They all can talk! They're having a meeting! There's something about puppies! It's one big baby con-spy-racy!
Timothy Leslie Templeton! [Boss Baby snickers]
We are very disappointed in you.
No, we're mad at you!
Exactly, we're mad at you!
Tim
Mad?
You need a time-out!
You're grounded!
Yes, grounded! (to Janice) For two?
Three!
Three days?
Weeks!
Weeks! Three weeks!
For three... NEVERS!!!
You know what, Janice, you're never 3 weeks ever again!
Tim
Grounded?
You're gonna stay in this house with your baby brother... [Boss Baby gasps and looks at her up with confusion] until you learn to get along.
Oh, great. [Tim looks down in disappointment. The scene fades to a jail/prison cell]
Adult Tim
It was my first time behind bars. The big house. The lock-up. Grounded for life. The minutes turned into hours, the hours into days. Every man has his breaking point. This was mine.
