S Sportscaster
[Archival footage of Manchester United playing has Jess artificially spliced in making a goal]
..and there is Bhamra. It's a fine header, and she's scored! It's a goal by Jess Bhamra! A superb header, beating the defender,and planting the ball beyond the goalkeeper's left hand. Jess Bhamra makes a name for herself at Old Trafford!
S Sportscaster
[Sports anchors are in a studio]
And have we discovered a new star here, Gary Lineker?
G Gary
That's right. John?
J John
Absolutely.. hehe.
G Gary
Could Bhamra be the answer to England's prayers? Alan?
Alan Quick thinking, comfortable on the ball, vision and awareness - magnificent. Tell you what, I wish she was playing for Scotland!
G Gary
John, have England found the player to relive their World Cup glory from '66?
J John
Definitely, and the best thing is, she's not even reached her peak yet.
A Anchor
We're joined now by Jess's mother. You must be proud of your daughter.
B Mrs. Bhamra
Not at all! She shouldn't be showing her bare legs to 70,000 people! She's bringing shame on the family. And you three shouldn't be encouraging her! [Mrs. Bhamra faces the camera] Jesminder, you get back home now! (untranslated Indian language)[Scene changes to Jess' bedroom fixated on her television set oblivious to her mother at door] Jessminder? Are you listening to me? (untranslated Indian language) Jessminder?! Have you gone mad?! [Grabs remote and turns off TV] Football, shootball! Your sister's getting engaged, and you're sitting here watching this skinhead boy!
Mum, it's Beckham's corner!
B Mrs. Bhamra
Eh, come downstairs, and your sister's going crazy.
Pinky I've got to go! Mum, where are my keys?
I'm sick of this wedding and it hasn't even started!
Pinky That girl is a first-class bitch!
B Mrs. Bhamra
Pinky, you've got so many others!
Pinky It was all planned now I gotta get another one! [To Jess wạlkịṇg dowṇ stạịrs] Will you get a flaming move on!
What the bloody hell's going on?
Pinky Get this yeah? Teet's bloody sister says she's wearing baby pink now. Stupid flipping cow! I had matching accessories and everything!
Oh, Mum, do I have to go shopping again?
B Mrs. Bhamra
Ah! My mother chose all my 21 dowry suits herself. I never once complained. You girls are too spoilt! And don't forget my dhania. And more carrots. I'm making achar.
Both Jess and Pinky simultaneously Oh, Mum, don't do pickle as well!
B Mrs. Bhamra
Oh, am I asking you to make it?!
Mum, I'm starving. I worked through my lunch hour today.
B Mrs. Bhamra
Where's Pinky? She was supposed to pick you up so you wouldn't be late for Poli. Pinky, why didn't you pick your sister up from work, huh?
Pinky I went but the manager said I'd just missed her.
B Mrs. Bhamra
Okay, Poli's on her way. I'll make you girls some tea.
Pinky [Pinky has taken Jess aside in the living room]
Who is he, then?
Pinky You must think I've got shit for brains, lying about a job and that!
Don't tell Mum and Dad. I kept Teet a secret for you.
Pinky He's not a Muslim, is he?
Ssh! I've been playing football for a women's team.
Pinky Huh? It's worse than I thought!
It's a tournament with real matches!
Pinky What is wrong with you, Jess? At least lie for something good! Don't you want a boyfriend like everyone else? You're quite pretty you know. Do your hair, some make-up, you'd look all right.
B Mrs. Bhamra
Leave her alone. I never wore make-up until after I was married. Jessie's a good girl now. She helped me wash all the net curtains and she made lovely aloo Gobi last week.
[Jess walks into house with family sitting in living room looking offended at Jess]
Teetu's father: We're not trying to cause trouble. We felt it our duty to tell you.
B Mr. Bhamra
You know how hard it is for our children here. Sometimes they misjudge and start behaving like the kids here.
Teetu's mother: All I know is that children are a map of their parents.
Pinky You stupid flippin' cow!
B Mrs. Bhamra
You've ruined your sister's life! Happy now?
Pinky The wedding's off 'cause of you!
B Mrs. Bhamra
They saw you being filthy with an English boy!
I wasn't with any English boy!
Pinky They saw you at a bus stop kissing him! Why couldn't you do it in secret like everyone else?
Kissing? Me? A boy?! You're all bloody mad!
B Mr. Bhamra
Jesminder, don't you use those swearing words!
I was at the 120 bus stop today but with Juliet. My friend. She's a girl, and we weren't kissing or anything for God's sake!
B Mr. Bhamra
[Points to painting on living room wall]
Do you swear on Babaji's name?
I swear on Babaji's name.
B Mrs. Bhamra
Sometimes these English girls have such short hair... You just can't tell.
B Mr. Bhamra
They must have made a mistake.
B Mrs. Bhamra
His parents are just making an excuse. We were never good enough for them.
Pinky No, I bet she was with some dykey girl from her football team! She's still been playing you know! She ain't got no job! She's been lying!
B Mrs. Bhamra
Why have I two deceiving daughters? What did I do wrong in my past life?
Pinky But she's ruined my life!
B Mrs. Bhamra
Don't think I didn't knew you were sneaking out with that good-for-nothing Teetu as well!
Pinks... How do you know Teets is the one?
Pinky I just know. When you're in love with someone, you'd do anything for that person.
Pinks, do you think Mum and Dad would still speak to me if I ever brought home a gora?
Pinky Who?!
Pinky It's that coach bloke innit! I knew something was up when he turned up here!
Pinky Well, make sure it doesn't, all right? You can marry anyone you want. It's fine at first when you're in love and all that but do you want to be stared at, by every family that do because you married the English bloke?
Pinky Well, they all look the bloody same to them, innit? Why go to so much grief when there's so many good-looking Indian boys to marry? Now, they wear good clothes, got flashy jobs and even know how to cook and wash up! Hey, how bout that Tony? He's been mad on you for ages!
