ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Beavis and Butthead Do America

Beavis and Butthead Do America quotes

53 total quotes





View Quote Butt-head's Dad: [sitting around a camp fire eating beans] Hey, you want to see something really cool? [farts over camp fire which creates a fiery mushroom cloud]
Beavis: FIRE!
View Quote Butt-head's Dad: Hey, one of you bas**** got a match?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. My butt and your, uh, butt. Uh huh huh.
View Quote Butt-head: [Butthead dreams that he's a giant and grabs a woman from a building] Uh, hey baby, I'm like pretty tall, uh huh huh huh [a helicopter shoots at him] Damnit cut it out, I'm trying to score! [Punches it]
View Quote Butt-head: [dying in the desert] Whoa, I think my life is, like, flashing in front of my eyes. [shows Beavis and Butt-head from infancy to now, sitting on the couch, giggling and watching TV] Whoa. My life was cool.
View Quote Butt-head: [eight M-16 assault rifles are pointed at him] This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.
View Quote Butt-head: [over loudspeaker] Uh, attention. Attention. We're looking for the chick with big boobs.
Beavis: [over loudspeaker] Yeah. We are ready to do you now.
Butt-head, Beavis: Uh-huh-huh-huh.
Senators: Uh-huh-huh-huh. Uh-huh-huh-huh.
View Quote Butt-head: All they have is these shows about water.
Beavis: Yeah, really. Maybe need some shows about fire.
Butt-head: What are you doing, Beavis?
Beavis: Something's wrong with my butt.
Butt-head: Your butt sucks.
Beavis: Hey, how come there's no sound?
Butt-head: I'll fix it.
View Quote Butt-head: It's like it's coming out of its ass, but then it's, like, also coming out of the ass of the ass.
Beavis: It's like the poop's coming out of the ass of the ass. Yeah.
View Quote Butt-head: This is gonna be cool. We're gonna get paid to score.
Beavis: Yeah. Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with two remotes.
Butt-head: Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.
View Quote Butt-head: This is gonna be cool. We're gonna get paid to score.
Beavis: Yeah. Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV, with two remotes.
Butt-head: Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives.
View Quote Butt-head: Uh, do you know where Washington is?
Petrified Forest Recording: [Pointing to the desert] Uh, yeah. About two thousand miles that way.
Beavis: Thanks.
Agent Flemming: Didn't see which way they went. Didn't see their vehicle. I don't suppose you tried to stop them.
Park Ranger: The most dangerous guys in America? No, thank you. I make $9.00 an hour.
Agent Flemming: National Security is the responsibility of every American. Bork...
Agent Bork: Cavity search?
Agent Flemming: Deep and hard.
Agent Bork: Agent Hurly.
Agent Flemming: They're not gonna get away this time. I want roadblocks every road out of here for 200 miles.
View Quote Butt-head: Whoa, cool. Hey, can I have a gun, too?
View Quote Concierge: [leading Beavis and Butt-head into their room] I'm sorry about that little misunderstanding, gentlemen. We didn't realize you were registered guests. If there's anything we can do to...
Beavis: [sees TV and remote attached to table, tries to lift it] Damn it. This thing is stuck.
Concierge: Sir, it's attached to the...
Butt-head: You dumb-ass, let me try.
Beavis: [stops] Hey, check it out. That guy's still standing there. [Concierge holds out hand, expecting tip]
Butt-head: Uhh, could you, like, not stand there and stuff? [as soon as concierge leaves] Some people are dumb.
Beavis: Yeah, really.
Butt-head: Uhh, check it out, Beavis. I wonder where this goes. Uh... Whoa. I think I hear a chick.
Beavis: Really? Cool! Neat!
Dallas Grimmes: [Grabs Beavis and Butthead and holds a gun on them] Alright who are you? CIA? FBI? ATF?
Beavis: Hey Butthead it's her!
Butt-head: Whoa! Uh, huh huh hey baby are we like, going to do it? Uh,huh,huh huh.
Dallas Grimmes: [****s the gun] You got two seconds!
Butt-head: Uh, is that going to be enough time?
Dallas Grimmes: [grabs him and pulls him up to her] Who sent you?
Butt-head: Uh, this drunk dude, he said he was going to pay us to do you?
Beavis: Yeah, yeah, heh, heh, yeah! [laughs]
Dallas Grimmes: Muddy, son of a bitch! Hold it. What's he paying you?
Butt-head: Uh... 10, uh... [Dallas Grimmes mistakes Beavis and Butt-head for hit men who are hunting her]
Dallas Grimmes 10 grand? [scoffs] Oh, that cheap ass. All right, I've got a better deal for you. I'll double it. I'll pay you 20 if you go back there and do him.
Butt-head: You want us to do a guy? No way.
Beavis: I don't know, Butt-Head. That is a lot of money. Maybe if we close our eyes and pretend he's a chick.
View Quote David VanDriessen: You know, this could be really positive experience for you guys. There's a wonderful and exciting world out there when we discover we don't need TV to entertain us.
Butt-head: Uh-huh huh huh! He said "anus"!
Beavis: "Entert-ain us", "ainus". Oh yeah! *laughs*
David VanDriessen: *sigh* Have you guys heard a word I've said?
Butt-head: Uhhh, yeah! Anus! *laughs*
Beavis: Yeah! I heard it too! *laughs*
David VanDriessen: You know, this could be a real positive experience for you guys. There's a wonderful and exciting world out there when we discover that we don't need TV to entertain us.
Butt-head: Huh huh huh. He said, "Anus."
Beavis: Entertain us, anus. Oh, yeah.
David VanDriessen: Have you guys heard a word I've said?
Butt-head: Uh, yeah. Anus.
Beavis: [chuckling] Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I heard it, too.
David VanDriessen: Look, guys, just take the TV back to the AV room right now. And try to be a little more open to life's experiences, okay?
Butt-head: What a dork.
Butt-head: [Beavis and Butt-Head roll the TV out of the school, it falls down the stairs and breaks] That was cool. Huh huh huh.
Beavis: No, it wasn't.
Butt-head: Uh, oh, yeah.
View Quote Hoover Dam Guide: Now, can anybody tell me how much energy it takes to power Las Vegas?
Beavis: Yeah, I just have a question. Um, is this a God dam? You know, god damn. You know?
Hoover Dam Guide: If you'll follow me this way.
Butt-head: This is dumb. Let's go find that chick.
Beavis: Yeah. Enough of this crap. Whoa. Check it out, Butt-head, TV!
Butt-head: Cool.
Man #1: I gotta hit the head. Can you get me some coffee?
Man #2: All right.
Agent Flemming: Talk to me, Bork.
Agent Bork: Chief, we found a witness that says he saw 2 teenagers leaving Dallas' room shortly before we arrived.
Agent Flemming: Did you give him a full cavity search?
Agent Bork: Uh... the witness?
Agent Flemming: Yes. You can never be too careful, Bork.
Agent Bork: Well, sir, I didn't really think it was necessary. You see, we have a picture of them from the elevator security cam. Here. Have a look.
Agent Flemming: What the hell?
Agent Bork: They look like a couple of kids, Chief.
Agent Flemming: Bork, don't you realize what kids today are capable of? Don't you read the papers? What the...?