Batman (Terry McGinnis) [after the Jokerz's vehicle crashes]
That ain’t coming out of my allowance.
Played by Will Friedle 
Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000) · 44 quotes
Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000) · 44 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000): in 16 of its 44 quotes
Most scenes with: The Joker (7), Flashback (5), Bruce Wayne (4)
It's a school night, boys and girls. I'm gonna have to call your folks.
More lines from Batman (Terry McGinnis)
3 quotes Batman (Terry McGinnis) Batman (Terry McGinnis) I hate to say it, but I think your little Robin's turned into a bitter old crow.
Batman (Terry McGinnis) [to Ace]
Good Batdog.
Scenes with Batman (Terry McGinnis)
12 scenes Terry So... The Joker, huh? Must be spry for a guy who's like... mid-eighties? Any theories on that? Clone? Robot? Suspended animation after being frozen in a block of ice?
Shut up and drive.
Terry Yes, sir.
Dana
[Terry and Dana are dancing, while Terry is falling asleep, Dana tries to keep him awake by talking...it doesn't work, so...]
Terry, my head's on fire.
Terry [takes the hand of another girl, his eyes are closed]
You look good.
Dana
[angry]
MCGINNIS!!
Terry [Other girl giggles and walks away]
Sorry, babe. Guess the day was longer than I thought.
Terry McGinnis It's funny. I know about all your other major enemies, but you never mention him. He was the biggest, wasn't he?
It wasn't a popularity contest. He was a psychopath. A monster.
Terry McGinnis So how is it possible he could still be around after all this time?
It's not possible. He died years ago.
Terry McGinnis You're sure?
[shortly]
I was there.
[Bruce gets up starts walking away. There's a beat of silence] Terry [softly]: You killed him... didn't you? [Bruce stops and hangs his head, but still doesn't look at him] He was gonna do something so terrible that you had no other choice. That was it, wasn't it?
Terry McGinnis Gordon told me what happened to Tim Drake.
That's why I didn't want you going up against the Joker. Imposter or not.
Terry McGinnis Nothing against your old partners, but I'm a completely different Batman. I was never a Robin, I never- [notices the tattered Robin costume] Wait... Joker smashed up the cases, but why was this the only costume he went out of his way to destroy?
Robin did shoot him.
Terry McGinnis A ghost out for revenge? I don't buy it. I talked to Drake; he's got less love for that costume than the Joker. I think somehow he's behind this.
That's crazy.
Terry McGinnis So was Drake, once. Look. Here's a readout of everything the Jokerz have stolen. Now let's combine them into something that would be used by a communications expert. Someone of Tim Drake's caliber.
[the objects on the computer screen moves together into a strange device]
Satellite jamming system. Whoever uses this can access satellite defenses and fire them at will.
Terry McGinnis Someone already has. I suspected Jordan Price of being the Joker. But the Jokerz were on your company yacht trying to slag Price. I got him off the boat before someone blasted it into splinters. I hate to say it, but I think your little Robin has turned into a bitter old crow. He's gotta be the brains behind this new Joker. It's harsh. But who else is there?
So, where should I make Ground Zero? Gotham General, where our hero's dear little Dana is recuperating? Or here, in the happy garden of Mrs. Mary McGinnis? I always think it adds resonance to a hero's mission to have some defining element of tragedy in his background, don't you?
[Terry glares at the Joker]
Ahh! But the one and only kickoff point must be stately Wayne Manor. Gone in a flash before Brucie can hobble to safety or mount a rescue. Don't worry, though. I'll be hitting those other spots soon enough. [after targeting Wayne Manor] Adios, Brucie. I suppose I should salute you as a worthy adversary and all that, but the truth is I really did hate your guts. [blows a raspberry at Bruce, then turns to Terry] How about you, kid? Any last words for the old Bat-fart? [referring to Bruce] ["Bat-fart" becomes "Bat-coot" in the edited version]
Batman Yeah. Sic 'im!
[Ace arrives on cue and attacks the Joker]
[notices the satellite laser is heading for the abandoned candy factory]
Oh, good! The beam's headed here! Now I'll have to start all over again. Thanks for wrecking everything, kid. [Turns to leave] See ya 'round.
Batman Hold it! [Grabs Joker's wrist]
Oh wise up, junior, GAME'S OVER!
Batman I'm taking you in!
[laughing]
Right! [punches Batman several times and throws him onto table, which breaks under his weight] You're out of your league, McGinnis. I know every trick the original Batman and Robin knew at their peak.
Batman Maybe. But you don't know a thing about me.
YOU?! What's to know?! You're a punk! A rank amateur! A costumed errand boy taking orders from a senile old man. Still, if it's a whupping you're a-wantin'...
[He rolls up his sleeves, and Terry runs to the door]
That's right. Better run and save yourself... it's about your speed. [Terry closes the door, then breaks the switch to prevent escape]
Batman Let's dance, bozo.
Batman [As they fight, Joker gets the upper hand] [To Bruce, through comlink]
He's tough. Any suggestions, boss?
Joker's vain and likes to talk. He'll try to distract you, but don't listen. Block it out and power on through.
Batman Wait. I like to talk too.
Batman Fighting dirty.
The REAL Batman would never-- [Terry pushes the knee in further]
Batman Told you, ya didn't know me.
Funny guy...
Batman Can't say the same for you. [shoves the Joker so that his gut hits a table]
Impudent brat. Who do you think you're talking to?
Batman Not a comedian, I'll tell you that.
Batman [retreats into the rafters]
The real Batman never talked to you much, did he? That's probably why you were so fixated on him. [tosses a batarang, knocking the gun out of Joker's hand]
Don't play psychoanalyst with me, boy!
Batman Oh, I don't need a degree to figure you out. [hits the lights with a batarang, turning them off] The real reason you kept coming back was you never got a laugh out of the old man.
I'm not hearing this...
Batman Get a clue, clowny! He's got no sense of humor! He wouldn't know a good joke if it bit him in the cape. Not that you ever had a good joke.
Batman I mean, joy buzzers, squirting flowers? Lame! Where's the "A" material? Make a face, drop your pants, something!
Show yourself!
Batman You make me laugh. But only 'cause I think you're kinda pathetic. [mimics the Joker's laugh]
Stop that!
Batman So you fell in a tank of acid, got your skin bleached and decided to become a supervillain. What, you couldn't get work as a rodeo clown? [laughs mockingly]
Batman [laughs harder]
Why? I thought the Joker always wanted to make Batman laugh!
[as he takes off Batman's mask and strangles him, he laughs]
C'mon, McGinnis! Laugh it up now, you miserable little punk! LAUGH! [in a sing-song tone] I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Terry Ha... ha. [jabs joybuzzer into the back of the Joker's neck, As the Joker screams in pain frying the microchip and destroying the Joker forever, before Terry puts his mask back on]
Commissioner Barbara Gordon
[beginning the flashback]
I thought talking about it would get easier over time, but some hurts never go away. Dick Grayson - Nightwing - had left to establish himself in another city. There were three of us then: Bruce, myself, and Robin... Tim Drake. [Robin is seen gliding over Gotham's rooftops] Robin was out alone that night when he came upon a woman in trouble.
Woman
Help! Help! Somebody, please help!
Robin
Hero time! [grapples down to the ground and knocks out two thugs] That evens things up a little.
[The "woman in trouble" is soon revealed to be Harley Quinn...]
Not really, bird-boy! [knocks Robin out with her mallet, as the Joker enters the scene]
Commissioner Barbara Gordon
[narrating, as Batman and Batgirl search for Robin]
We soon realized Tim was missing. Night after night, we scoured the city, running down every lead, pressing every underworld connection... but no one had seen any sign of Robin. For three agonizing weeks, there was nothing. Then, one night, we were sent an invitation...
Batman [Batman and Batgirl arrive on a rooftop, seeing a jack-in-the-box. Batman opens it with a batarang, but the "jack" triggers a grenade, exploding the box. In the remains, Batman picks up a straitjacket, realizing where Robin is...]
Arkham.
Commissioner Barbara Gordon
[narrating]
The asylum had been moved to a newer high-security building. The old building had been partially demolished, and hung open like a rotting wound.
You know, Bats, we've been doing this little runaround of ours for years. It's been loads of laughs, but sad fact is, none of us are getting any younger.
That old clock's a'tickin'!
Quite right, poo. And Harley and I thought it was time to start a family. Add a "Joker Junior" to our merry brood.
But rather than go through all the joys of childbirth, [makes disgusted face] we decided to adopt.
We couldn't do it legally, but then we remembered that you always have a few spare kids lying around — so we borrowed one.
Batman [Joker and Harley open the curtain, revealing a shadowed figure strapped to a table.]
No...
Batgirl
My God!
He needed a little molding, of course; what kid doesn't? But, in time, we came to love him as our own. Say hello, J.J.!
[Robin appears from the shadows, mutilated to look like the Joker and laughing mindlessly]
Batman I'll break you in two...
Oh, Batman, if you had the guts for that kind of fun, you'd have done it years ago. I on the other hand... [The Joker produces a knife from his sleeve, cuts Batman across the chest and stabs it in above his knee, or in the edited cut, he just punches him; in either case, he jumps down to the wounded Batman] You've lost, Batman. Robin is mine. The last sound you'll hear will be our laughter.
[Director's Cut version] [tosses the bang flag spear gun to Tim]
Here you go, sonny boy! [Tim grabs the gun] Make daddy proud: deliver the punchline.
Batman [Tim aims the gun at Batman, then pulls the trigger and a "Bang!" flag pops up harmlessly]
Tim...
[Tim laughs for a bit, but slowly breaks out of the brainwashing effect, then turns around and fires the gun at the Joker instead, where the flag spear pierces his heart, and he gets flown and knocked into giant building blocks] [dying]
That's not funny... that's not...
[The Joker gets choked up in blood, then falls to the floor, dead; As Barbara runs in, Tim's insane laughter quickly becomes uncontrollable sobbing and he falls to his knees]
Commissioner Barbara Gordon
[ends the flashback]
We buried the Joker deep beneath Arkham. The only other person who knew what happened that night was my father, the first Commissioner Gordon. He promised to keep our secret. [In the edited version, the line, "We buried the Joker deep beneath Arkham," was removed before the next line "The only other person who knew what happened that night was my father, the first Commissioner Gordon. And for Robin's sake, he kept that night a secret."] With his last act of cruelty, the Joker tainted us all with compromise and deception. [turns to Terry] I suppose he had the last laugh after all.
Terry McGinnis I'm assuming his girlfriend bought it, too. [Edited version: "And since you saw Harley fall into the pit..."]
Commissioner Barbara Gordon
We never found her body, but I doubt she'd be starting trouble now.
Terry McGinnis And Tim?
Commissioner Barbara Gordon
We had a trusted friend, Dr. Leslie Thompkins. It took her a year, but she was able to help Tim back to sanity. ["Back to himself" in the edited version] Still, things were never really the same. Bruce forbade Tim to be Robin again; he blamed himself for what happened and swore he'd never endanger another young partner. Tim left us soon after that, determined to make it on his own.
Terry McGinnis Did they ever patch things up?
Commissioner Barbara Gordon
Tim tried once or twice, but you know Bruce. I check up on Tim now and then. He's a top-level communications engineer, married, couple kids. Not too bad, all things considered.
Terry McGinnis He deserved a happy ending... but he still has the most likely connection to that night.
