Batman (1966) quotes

View Quote Alfred: What is the scheme, sir?
Batman: Tonight, Bruce Wayne will go out on the town with Miss Kitka.
Alfred: A not-displeasing chore, sir.
Batman: Indeed, Alfred! I've rarely met a girl who's such a potent argument in favor of international "relations".

View Quote Catwoman: Riddler.
Riddler: Yes?
Catwoman: You're mad, Riddler. Penguin finished Batman by now.
Riddler: Why, that miserable waddling mountebank of a bird? He couldn't finish a bag of popcorn! [giggles]
Joker: So, say Penguin failed. All the more reason not to have that your crazy clues.
Riddler: Oh, But I must, I must. Outwitting Batman is my sole delight, my joy, my heaven on earth, my very paradise. [giggles again]
Joker: Riddler, come back!

View Quote Commissioner Gordon: Penguin, Joker, Riddler...and Catwoman, too! The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate.
Batman: We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over-
Chief O'Hara: Take over what, Batman? Gotham City?
Batman: Any two of them would try that!
Commissioner Gordon: The whole country?
Batman: If it were three of them, I would say yes, but four? Their minimum objective must be...the entire world.

View Quote Miss Kitka: If you please, to take off the mask to give the better picture?
Commissioner Gordon: Great Scott! Batman take off his mask?
Chief O'Hara: The woman must be mad!
Batman: Please...Chief O'Hara...all of you. This young lady is a stranger to our shores. Her request is not unnatural, however, impossible to grant.
Miss Kitka: Impossible?
Batman: Indeed. If Robin and I were to remove our masks, the secret of our true identities would be revealed.
Commissioner Gordon: Completely destroying their value as ace crimefighters.
Chief O'Hara: Sure, ma'am. Not even Commisioner Gordon and meself know who they really are.
Robin: In fact, our own relatives we live with don't know.
Miss Kitka: But your so curious costumes...
Robin: Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Underneath this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.
Miss Kitka: You are like the masked vigilantes in the Westerns, no?
Commissioner Gordon: Certainly not! Batman and Robin are fully deputized agents of the law.
Robin: Support your police! That's our message!
Batman: Well said, Robin...and no better way to end this press conference...thank you, and good day.

View Quote Narrator: This yacht is bringing a revolutionary scientific invention to Gotham City. On a peaceful afternoon motor ride, millionaire Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward Dick Grayson have been summoned back to Wayne Manor by an urgent but anonymous call for help; the invention AND its custodian are reported in grave danger aboard the yacht! Never ones to shirk responsibility, Bruce and Dick, with characteristic speed and resolve, descend promptly into The Batcave, and then, as they have done many times before, as BATMAN AND ROBIN, courageous warriors against crime, they are off once again to the rescue!

View Quote Penguin: Mr. Bluebeard, down 30 fathoms! Run silent, run deep!

View Quote Penguin: That's too soon! It must be Batcharges!
Riddler: And that means there'll be more of the dread things meant for us!
Catwoman: You dismal bird! You and your submarine, Where has it got us now?!
Penguin: Shut up, you feline floozy!

View Quote Penguin: There are two eggs this wily bird is gonna scramble. Batman and Robin!

View Quote Pirate: Ahoy, Catwoman!
Miss Kitka: [slaps him] Imbecile, How many times have I told you? Never use my real name in public!

View Quote Riddler: I see the way to do it. We'll play each of our treacherous trumps in one hand, and we'll do it right here.
Penguin: How?
Riddler: How? The end. The end, oh... [giggles] We shall spring them from The Joker's Jack-In-The-Box, through that window, out over the sea, and into the waiting arms of The Penguin's Exploding Octopus! [giggles again] The trigger: one of my riddles, of course, and the bait: You, Catwoman!

View Quote The Joker: Have you heard this one? It'll KILL you, Batman! [laughs]

View Quote The Riddler: Question: Who's going to make the feathers fly and knock Batman and Robin out of the sky?

View Quote [A third torpedo approaches, but Batman's transmitter ceases its screeching]
Batman: Confound it! The batteries are dead!

View Quote [After the shark attack, Batman takes questions from the press in Commissioner Gordon's office]
Batman: You there, Miss...
Miss Kitka: Comrade Kitayna Ireyna Tatanya Kerenska Alisoff. I am from the Moscow Bugle.

View Quote [An annoyed Penguin observes the destruction of his torpedos]
Penguin: He must be using a Super-Energy Reverse Polarizer!