2nd most-quoted character in Analyze This (1999): in 13 of its 18 quotes
Most scenes with: Dr. Ben Sobel (11), Primo (2)
You know me?
Yes.
No you don't.
Okay.
You see my picture in the paper?
Yes.
No you didn't.
I don't even get the paper.
Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother.
****in' Greeks.
Times are changing. You've got to change with the times.
What, am I supposed to get a ****in' website?
If I talk to you, and you turn me into a ****... I'm gonna kill you, you understand?
Could we define the word "****," because...?
I go ****, you die. Got it?
Got it.
You know what I do I'm mad,Paul? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.
There's your ****in' pillow.
Feel better?
...Yeah, I do.
Good.
Hey, people get depressed, they jump. It's a human tragedy. It ain't my fault.
Oh, now you're gonna tell me it was a suicide?
I don't know, I think he left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?
Uh no, but they will in a minute.
Oh, and let me guess what it says? "Life is bullshit, I can't **** take it no more! Signed, the Dead Guy."
Hey, that's good, Doc.
Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-bitch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! Whatever you did the other day didn't take! I'm still **** up! You did **** NOTHING for me!
Hey, what do you expect? I saw you for five minutes! I can't work miracles, Mr. Vitti! And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when someone sneaks into my hotel room and kidnaps me in the middle of the night. I have a life, Mr. Viti, I have a family, and I have a serious practice, and I don't have time for your BULLSHIT...! That got away from me at the end there.
What happened with your wife last night?
I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.
Are you having marriage problems?
No.
Then why do you have a girlfriend?
What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?
No, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?
I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
Why can't you do them with your wife?
Hey! That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?
I couldn't get it up last night
You mean sexually?
No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually! What the ****'s the matter with you?
And hopefully, hopefully... if you make one more move on me, you mother****er, I'll ****in' cut your ****in' balls off and shove 'em up your ****in' ass. I'll ****in' bury you! I'll stick **** ice picks in your eyes. I'll chop your **** eyeballs and I'll send 'em to your family so they can eat them for dessert! Do you understand me?!
Hey, Paul.
What?
**** you.
You mother****er!
I wasn't really gonna whack you.
Paul...
Okay, I was gonna whack you. But I was real conflicted about it.
You don't hear the word "no" very often, do you?
I hear it all the time, but usually it's, "No, please, no, no!"
It's me.
Me who?
Me. Me.
Me? Me who?
Me. You know me. Me.
Yeah, how's it goin'?
Not good. Not good. Whoever did that thing to you-know-who, that good friend of mine? They're trying to do that to me now, and I'm having a lot of feelings about that, and I'm trying to get some... some...
Closure.
...closure on that.
What kind of feelings?
I'm feeling very angry about that, I'm really- I'm enraged. I'm feeling very very mad about that.
Yeah, so why are you telling me?
Why'm I telling you? Like you don't know nothin' about it? Eh?
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
You don't know nothin'? What?
I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Okay, whatever, I'm just trying to... tell you about my feelings, and that I'm angry, and that that anger is...
A blocked wish.
A blocked wish, and I'm looking forward to seeing you, next week at that thing, and unblock that angered wish, and then, hopefully, hopefully... (I warn you,) [losing his temper] if you make one more move on me, you mother****er, I'll **** cut your **** balls off, I'll shove them up your **** ass! I'll **** bury you! I'll put **** ice picks in your (****) eyes! I'll chop your **** eyeballs (off)! I'll send them to your **** family so they can eat them for dessert! Do you understand me?!
Hey, Paul.
What?
**** you. [hangs up]
You mother****er!
You get a dictionary and find out what this "closure" is. If that's what he's gonna hit us with, then I wanna know what it is.
