Jack Byrnes quotes from Little Fockers (2010)

Jack Byrnes

I'm watching you.

Jack Byrnes

Focker!

Jack Byrnes

We've had this date since the beginning, Greg.

Jack Byrnes

Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?

Jack Byrnes

Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?

Jack Byrnes

That's disgusting.

Jack Byrnes

What about Mommy and Daddy, is everything okay with them?

Jack Byrnes

Mmm-hmm. And what do they fight about?

Jack Byrnes

Who's Andi?

Jack Byrnes

Like I always tell you, there's nothing wrong with spying as long as you suspect foul play. So, who's Andi?

Jack Byrnes

If I go down, Greg, I need to know someone will be responsible for the whole Byrnes clan. So I ask you, Greg, are you prepared to be... the Godfocker?

Jack Byrnes

Focker, there is no way I'm going to an ER room with this thing. Now you need to stick me and you need to stick me now! I'm having a dick attack! Stick me!

Jack Byrnes

I'm not gay myself. But if I were gay, I would certainly be proud to choose a life partner like Gay Focker. And that's his actual name.

Jack Byrnes

Dr. Bob. Scumbag.

Jack Byrnes

Greg, he saw his father inject a needle into his grandfather's penis. He already had issues. That's something he might never recover from.

Jack Byrnes

What wheel?

Jack Byrnes

Sam might be three quarters Byrnes, whereas Henry could very well have a double dose of Focker in him. Double dose.

Jack Byrnes

I know you were telling the truth about Andi, Greg.

Jack Byrnes

Yeah. The pulse on your carotid antery remained steady as you pleaded your innocence.

Jack Byrnes

That's the Godfocker? [cat hisses]