Analyze This 1999 quotes

Primo

Yeah, who is this?

Boss Paul Vitti

It's me.

Primo

Me who?

Boss Paul Vitti

Me. Me.

Primo

Me? Me who?

Boss Paul Vitti

Me. You know me. Me.

Primo

Yeah, how's it goin'?

Boss Paul Vitti

Not good. Not good. Whoever did that thing to you-know-who, that good friend of mine? They're trying to do that to me now, and I'm having a lot of feelings about that, and I'm trying to get some... some...

Dr. Ben Sobel

Closure.

Boss Paul Vitti

...closure on that.

Primo

What kind of feelings?

Boss Paul Vitti

I'm feeling very angry about that, I'm really- I'm enraged. I'm feeling very very mad about that.

Primo

Yeah, so why are you telling me?

Boss Paul Vitti

Why'm I telling you? Like you don't know nothin' about it? Eh?

Primo

I don't know what you're talkin' about.

Boss Paul Vitti

You don't know nothin'? What?

Primo

I don't know what you're talkin' about.

Boss Paul Vitti

Okay, whatever, I'm just trying to... tell you about my feelings, and that I'm angry, and that that anger is...

Dr. Ben Sobel

A blocked wish.

Boss Paul Vitti

A blocked wish, and I'm looking forward to seeing you, next week at that thing, and unblock that angered wish, and then, hopefully, hopefully... (I warn you,) [losing his temper] if you make one more move on me, you mother****er, I'll **** cut your **** balls off, I'll shove them up your **** ass! I'll **** bury you! I'll put **** ice picks in your (****) eyes! I'll chop your **** eyeballs (off)! I'll send them to your **** family so they can eat them for dessert! Do you understand me?!

Primo

Hey, Paul.

Boss Paul Vitti

What?

Primo

**** you. [hangs up]

Boss Paul Vitti

You mother****er!

Primo

You get a dictionary and find out what this "closure" is. If that's what he's gonna hit us with, then I wanna know what it is.

Boss Paul Vitti

Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-bitch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! Whatever you did the other day didn't take! I'm still **** up! You did **** NOTHING for me!

Dr. Ben Sobel

Hey, what do you expect? I saw you for five minutes! I can't work miracles, Mr. Vitti! And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when someone sneaks into my hotel room and kidnaps me in the middle of the night. I have a life, Mr. Viti, I have a family, and I have a serious practice, and I don't have time for your BULLSHIT...! That got away from me at the end there.

Boss Paul Vitti

Hey, people get depressed, they jump. It's a human tragedy. It ain't my fault.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Oh, now you're gonna tell me it was a suicide?

Boss Paul Vitti

I don't know, I think he left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?

Jelly

Uh no, but they will in a minute.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Oh, and let me guess what it says? "Life is bullshit, I can't **** take it no more! Signed, the Dead Guy."

Jelly

Hey, that's good, Doc.

Boss Paul Vitti

I couldn't get it up last night

Dr. Ben Sobel

You mean sexually?

Boss Paul Vitti

No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually! What the ****'s the matter with you?

Boss Paul Vitti

I wasn't really gonna whack you.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Paul...

Boss Paul Vitti

Okay, I was gonna whack you. But I was real conflicted about it.

Boss Paul Vitti

If I talk to you, and you turn me into a ****... I'm gonna kill you, you understand?

Dr. Ben Sobel

Could we define the word "****," because...?

Boss Paul Vitti

I go ****, you die. Got it?

Dr. Ben Sobel

Got it.

Boss Paul Vitti

You know me?

Dr. Ben Sobel

Yes.

Boss Paul Vitti

No you don't.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Okay.

Boss Paul Vitti

You see my picture in the paper?

Dr. Ben Sobel

Yes.

Boss Paul Vitti

No you didn't.

Dr. Ben Sobel

I don't even get the paper.

Dominic

Times are changing. You've got to change with the times.

Boss Paul Vitti

What, am I supposed to get a ****in' website?

Dr. Ben Sobel

Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother.

Boss Paul Vitti

****in' Greeks.

Dr. Ben Sobel

What happened with your wife last night?

Boss Paul Vitti

I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Are you having marriage problems?

Boss Paul Vitti

No.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Then why do you have a girlfriend?

Boss Paul Vitti

What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?

Dr. Ben Sobel

No, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?

Boss Paul Vitti

I do things with her I can't do with my wife.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Why can't you do them with your wife?

Boss Paul Vitti

Hey! That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?

Dr. Ben Sobel

You don't hear the word "no" very often, do you?

Boss Paul Vitti

I hear it all the time, but usually it's, "No, please, no, no!"

Dr. Ben Sobel

You know what I do I'm mad,Paul? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.

Boss Paul Vitti

There's your ****in' pillow.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Feel better?

Boss Paul Vitti

...Yeah, I do.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Good.

Was that really Paul Vitti?

Dr. Ben Sobel

Well, I didn't ask to see his Mafia decoder ring, but yes.

Primo

Everybody knows there's been this thing between me and Paul Vitti for a long time.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Which thing are you talking about? The first thing or the second thing?

Primo

What second thing? I only know one thing.

Dr. Ben Sobel

Hey, how can we bring up the first thing if we're not gonna talk about the second thing. Did you talk to the guy?

Primo

What guy?

Dr. Ben Sobel

The guy with the thing!

Primo

What thing? What the **** are you talking about?

Dr. Ben Sobel

How should I know? You brought it up.

Boss Paul Vitti

And hopefully, hopefully... if you make one more move on me, you mother****er, I'll ****in' cut your ****in' balls off and shove 'em up your ****in' ass. I'll ****in' bury you! I'll stick **** ice picks in your eyes. I'll chop your **** eyeballs and I'll send 'em to your family so they can eat them for dessert! Do you understand me?!

Primo

Hey, Paul.

Boss Paul Vitti

What?

Primo

**** you.

Boss Paul Vitti

You mother****er!