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Analyze This

Analyze This quotes

17 total quotes

Dr. Ben Sobel


View Quote Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, I got news for you, you little two-bit prick, son-of-a-bitch, rat-bastard you did nothing for me! Whatever you did the other day didn't take! I'm still ****ed up! You did ****ing NOTHING for me!
Dr. Ben Sobel: Hey, what do you expect? I saw you for five minutes! I can't work miracles, Mr. Vitti! And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when someone sneaks into my hotel room and kidnaps me in the middle of the night. I have a life, Mr. Viti, I have a family, and I have a serious practice, and I don't have time for your BULLSHIT...! That got away from me at the end there.
View Quote Boss Paul Vitti: Hey, people get depressed, they jump. It's a human tragedy. It ain't my fault.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, now you're gonna tell me it was a suicide?
Boss Paul Vitti: I don't know, I think he left a note. Jelly, did they find that note?
Jelly: (taking out a pen) Uh no, but they will in a minute.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Oh, and let me guess what it says? "Life is bullshit, I can't ****ing take it no more! Signed, the Dead Guy."
Jelly: Hey, that's good, Doc.
View Quote Boss Paul Vitti: I couldn't get it up last night
Dr. Ben Sobel: You mean sexually?
Boss Paul Vitti: No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually! What the ****'s the matter with you?
View Quote Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't really gonna whack you.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Paul...
Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, I was gonna whack you. But I was real conflicted about it.
View Quote Boss Paul Vitti: If I talk to you, and you turn me into a ****... I'm gonna kill you, you understand?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Could we define the word "****," because...?
Boss Paul Vitti: I go ****, you die. Got it?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Got it.
View Quote Boss Paul Vitti: You know me?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.
Boss Paul Vitti: No you don't.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Okay.
Boss Paul Vitti: You see my picture in the paper?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes.
Boss Paul Vitti: No you didn't.
Dr. Ben Sobel: I don't even get the paper.
View Quote Dominic: Times are changing. You've got to change with the times.
Boss Paul Vitti: What, am I supposed to get a ****in' website?
View Quote Dr. Ben Sobel: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother.
Boss Paul Vitti: (scoffing) ****in' Greeks.
View Quote Dr. Ben Sobel: What happened with your wife last night?
Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't with my wife, I was with my girlfriend.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Are you having marriage problems?
Boss Paul Vitti: No.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Then why do you have a girlfriend?
Boss Paul Vitti: What, are you gonna start moralizing on me?
Dr. Ben Sobel: No, I'm not, I'm just trying to understand, why do you have a girlfriend?
Boss Paul Vitti: I do things with her I can't do with my wife.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Why can't you do them with your wife?
Boss Paul Vitti: Hey! That's the mouth she kisses my kids goodnight with! What are you, crazy?
View Quote Dr. Ben Sobel: You don't hear the word "no" very often, do you?
Boss Paul Vitti: I hear it all the time, but usually it's, "No, please, no, no!"
View Quote Dr. Ben Sobel: You know what I do I'm mad,Paul? I hit a pillow. Just hit the pillow, see how you feel.
Boss Paul Vitti: (empties a gun into the pillow) There's your ****in' pillow.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Feel better?
Boss Paul Vitti: ...Yeah, I do.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Good.
View Quote Michael Sobel: Was that really Paul Vitti?
Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, I didn't ask to see his Mafia decoder ring, but yes.
View Quote Primo: Everybody knows there's been this thing between me and Paul Vitti for a long time.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Which thing are you talking about? The first thing or the second thing?
Primo: What second thing? I only know one thing.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Hey, how can we bring up the first thing if we're not gonna talk about the second thing. Did you talk to the guy?
Primo: What guy?
Dr. Ben Sobel: The guy with the thing!
Primo: What thing? What the **** are you talking about?
Dr. Ben Sobel: How should I know? You brought it up.
View Quote [Vitti is trying to forgive Primo for attempting to whack him.]
Boss Paul Vitti: And hopefully, hopefully... if you make one more move on me, you mother****er, I'll ****in' cut your ****in' balls off and shove 'em up your ****in' ass. I'll ****in' bury you! I'll stick ****ing ice picks in your eyes. I'll chop your ****ing eyeballs and I'll send 'em to your family so they can eat them for dessert! Do you understand me?!
Primo: Hey, Paul.
Boss Paul Vitti: What?
Primo: **** you.
Boss Paul Vitti: (throws down phone) You mother****er!
View Quote (masquerading as a mobster) My name is Ben Sobel... -lioni. Ben Sobellioni. I'm also known as, uh, Benny the Groin, Sammy the Schnozz, Elmer the Fudd, Tubby the Tuba, and once as Miss Phyllis Levine.