John Larroquette movie quotes

View Quote [spying on female soldiers taking showers] I wish I was a loofah.

View Quote [after stumbling on the sidewalk] Have that removed.

View Quote Captain Stillman: Where the ****'s my truck? Where - ? WHERE'S MY TRUCK? Hey, where's the EM-50?
Soldier Outside Motor Pool: A couple of soldiers took it to get it washed sir.

View Quote [last lines] The crime scene was not properly secured by Travis County Police. Two investigating officers were fatally wounded that day. This is the only known image of Thomas Hewitt, the man they call Leatherface. The case today still remains open.

View Quote The events of that day were to lead to one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history: "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

View Quote The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of 5 youths. It is all the more tragic in that they were young. But had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected, nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day. For them, an idyllic summer afternoon became a nightmare. For 30 years, the files collected dust in the cold-cases division of the Travis County Police Department. Over 1,300 pieces of evidence were collected from the crime scene at the Hewitt residence. Yet none of the evidence was more compelling than the classified police footage of the crime-scene walk-through.

View Quote Nadia Gates: [about David's marriage proposal] I don't like you. I certainly do not love you. Do we have to have sex?
David Bedford: Oh yes...
Nadia Gates: Okay but no kissing.

View Quote David Bedford: I swear on my mother's grave.
Judge Harold Bedford: Your mother is playing the back 9 at Bellaire.
David Bedford: I was speaking in the future tense.

View Quote [Walter threatens David with a gun]
David Bedford: Walter, I am not worth it...
Walter Davis: SHUT UP! DANCE!
David Bedford: What?
Walter Davis: I SAID DANCE, SCUMBAG!
[David does a jig while whistling "Old Folks at Home"]
Walter Davis: MOONWALK!
[David awkwardly moonwalks a la Michael Jackson]
Walter Davis: I HATE THAT SHIT!
[Walter fires at David as he scurries away from the shots]

View Quote [First lines] The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of five youths, in particular Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother, Franklin. It is all the more tragic in that they were young. But, had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day. For them an idyllic summer afternoon drive became a nightmare. The events of that day were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

View Quote [Final lines] From 1969 to 1973, the Hewitt family murdered thirty-three people across the state of Texas. To this day, their killing spree is universally considered one of the most notorious and perversely sadistic crimes in the annals of American history: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.