Groucho Marx movie quotes

135 quotes from 5 movies

Duck Soup (1933) as Rufus T. Firefly

View Quote Clear? Huh! Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head or tail out of it.

View Quote I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you came home.

View Quote You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember while you're out there risking life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in here thinking what a sucker you are.

All 40 quotes from Rufus T. Firefly »

Animal Crackers (1930) as Captain Spaulding

View Quote Well, you go Uruguay and I'll go mine.

View Quote [to audience] Pardon me while I have a strange interlude. Why, you couple of baboons! What makes you think I'd marry either one of you! Strange how the wind blows tonight. It has a tintity voice, reminds me of poor old Moslin. How happy I could be with either of these two if both of them just went away!

View Quote [singing] Hello, I must be going
I cannot stay
I came to say
I must be going...

All 33 quotes from Captain Spaulding »

A Night at the Opera (1935) as Otis B. Driftwood

View Quote Can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?

View Quote [to Mrs. Claypool] Don't you see, you'll be a patron of the opera. You'll get into society. Then, you can marry me and they'll kick you out of society, and all you've lost is $200,000.

View Quote [to Gottlieb] I saw Mrs. Claypool first. Of course, her mother really saw her first but there's no point in bringing the Civil War into this.

All 23 quotes from Otis B. Driftwood »

A Day at the Races (1937) as Dr. Hackenbush

View Quote Emily, I have a little confession to make. I really am a horse doctor. But marry me, and I'll never look at any other horse.

View Quote [to Stuffy] Don't drink that poison! That's four dollars an ounce.

View Quote [giving a pill to a horse] Take one of those every half mile and call me if there's any change.

All 22 quotes from Dr. Hackenbush »

Horse Feathers (1932) as Quincy Adams Wagstaff

View Quote [about Connie] I'm the plumber. I'm just hanging around in case something goes wrong with her pipes. [To the audience] That's the first time I've used that joke in 20 years.

View Quote [to Baravelli] You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it.

View Quote (to Baravelli and Pinky, who have abandoned the football match in favor of playing cards) Do you realize what happens if we lose? It means shame! Disgrace! Humiliation! And besides, you're crazy if you don't play the ace!

All 17 quotes from Quincy Adams Wagstaff »