Colin Hanks movie quotes

Sheriff Abel

You’re on my last **** nerveǃ I told you to get the **** out...ǃ [Hutch fights all the thugs]

Lendina

Sheriff.

Sheriff Abel

You can just call me Abel.

Lendina

Sheriff, I need to make sure Wyatt hasn’t forgotten who he works for. Take something that really matters to him.

Sheriff Abel

Got it.

Sheriff Abel

It’s a big shipment, but... I guarantee you we can do more next time. [gestures] Except those paintings are a bitch. But you got to see what’s in here. Here is the special thing the boss lady asked for. [opens van door to reveal Wyatt bound and gagged] Wyatt’s spoiled son. Now, I want you to tell the boss that I said it was a pleasure to be of service. Okay? You understand? Or do I need to get a **** translator? [thugs silently stare] I need to get a **** translator.

Carl Denham

Fay's a size four.

Preston

Yes, she is, but she's doing a picture with RKO.

Carl Denham

Cooper, huh? I might've known.

What location, Carl?! You're supposed to be shooting on the back lot!

Carl Denham

Yes, I understand that. But fellas, we're not making that film anymore. Things have changed. The script has been rewritten. Life... intervened. I've come into possession of a map. The sole surviving record of an uncharted island-- thought to exist only in myth! Until now...

Whoa. Carl. Slow down.

Is he asking for more money?

He's asking us to fund a wild goose chase.

Carl Denham

I'm talking about a primative world... never before seen by man. That's where I'll shoot my picture.

Will there be boobies?

Carl Denham

Boobies?

Jigglies. Jiblonkas. Bazooms. In my experience, people only go to these films to observe the undraped form of the native girls.

Carl Denham

What are you, an idiot? You think they asked DeMill if he would waste his time on nudie shots? NO! They respected the filmmaker! They showed some class! Not that you'd know what that means, you cheap lowlife! God...

Would you step out for a moment, Carl?
[Carl leaves the room and points to a glass of water] Gimme that!

Preston

You won't like it. It's non-alcoholic.

Carl Denham

Preston, you have a lot to learn about the motion picture business. [he presses the glass against the door and listens intently]

Don't get me wrong. Carl Denham's made some interesting pictures. He's had a lot of... near success.

He's a preening self promoter. Washed up, no talent. The guy's got 'loser' written all over him.

Look, I know his project isn't working out as well as we planned, but--

This jumped up little turd's gonna bankrupt us!

The animal footage has value.

Sure. Universal are desperate for stock footage.

Then sell it! Scrap the picture!

Get him back in.

Mr... Denham? [Carl and Preston have dissapeared from the waiting room]

Zelman

What location, Carl?! You're supposed to be shooting on the back lot!

Carl Denham

Yes, I understand that, but fellas, we're not making that film anymore. And I'll tell you why. The story has changed. The script has been rewritten. Life... intervened. I've come into possession of a map. The sole surviving record of an uncharted island. A place that was thought to exist only in myth. Until now...

Zelman

Whoa, Carl, slow down.

Is he asking for more money?

He's asking us to fund a wild goose chase.

Carl Denham

Where we're going is the only place on Earth where the geese chase us! I'm talking about a primitive world, never before seen by man. The ruins of an entire civilization. The most spectacular thing you've ever seen. That's where I'll shoot my picture. [After a moment's silence] So, any questions?

Will there be action?

Carl Denham

Yes.

Will there be mystery and drama?

Carl Denham

Yes.

Will there be romance?

Carl Denham

Yes.

Will there be danger, terror and suspense?

Carl Denham

Yes!

Will the island natives be friendly or hostile?

Carl Denham

Well, that depends.

Depends on what?

Carl Denham

Which side they're on, and whether or not they might turn out to be bloodthirsty savages. [after a long pause] Any other questions?

Zelman

Are you sure this new picture will make a lot of money at the box office?

Carl Denham

Yes! Now, if there's nothing else...

Just one more question, if you don't mind my asking?

Carl Denham

Go ahead.

Will there be breasts?

Carl Denham

Breasts?!

You know what I mean! Jigglies. Jiblonkas. Bazooms. You see, in my experience, people only go to these films to observe the undressed form of the native girls.

Carl Denham

What are you, an idiot? You think they asked DeMille if he would waste his time on nude shots? No! They respected the filmmaker! They showed some class! Not that you'd know what that means, you cheap lowlife! [Zelman gives the thuggish studio guy an angry look] Is there anything I can do to make it up to you guys?

Zelman

Actually, there is. Would you step outside for a moment, Carl?

Carl Denham

Gimme that!

Preston

You won't like it. It's non-alcoholic.

Carl Denham

Preston, you have a lot to learn about the motion picture business. [he presses the glass against the door and listens intently]

Zelman

Don't write him off, fellas. He's hot-headed, sure. But up to now, Carl Denham's made some interesting pictures; he's had a lot of... near success.

He's a preening self-promoter... an ambitious no-talent! The guy has "loser" written all over him.

Zelman

Look, I understand your disappointment –

He's washed up. It's all over town!

He can't direct. He doesn't have the smarts.

This jumped-up little jerk's gonna bankrupt us!

Zelman

The animal footage has value?

Sure! Universal is desperate for stock footage!

Then sell it! Scrap the picture! We gotta retrieve something from this debacle.

Zelman

Get him back in.
Zelman's Assistant: Mister... Denham?
[Carl and Preston have disappeared from the waiting room]

Alex Vreeke

Who plays board games anymore?