Knocked Up

Knocked Up quotes

78 total quotes (ID: 324)

Allison Scott
Ben Stone
Debbie
Doorman
Fantasy Baseball Guy
Jason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete


You can't buy shit! You can barely buy spaghetti!


(ordering beer) "You can't get service, what am I gonna do?"

"Great, give me that line".

Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to ****ing rock this shit!

I farted on Jason's pillow, he farted on Jonah's thinking it was mine, and eventually pink-eyed my pillow. I'm not proud of any of this.

I always aim right.

Don't masturbate with a noose. If you do, use a spotter or a teammate.

I'm going to murderball you!

Hey, Jay, do you use that Canadian leaf tattoo as like a cum target? How many points do you get for hitting the stem, like a million?

I went where I went Jason!

Hey Crocket, how's Tubbs doing?

How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?

See ya... Scorcese on coke

I could smoke weed, every second, of everyday.

She like'a da way ya dick taste.