Knocked Up

Knocked Up quotes

78 total quotes (ID: 324)

Allison Scott
Ben Stone
Fantasy Baseball Guy

You can't buy shit! You can barely buy spaghetti!

(ordering beer) "You can't get service, what am I gonna do?"

"Great, give me that line".

Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to ****ing rock this shit!

I farted on Jason's pillow, he farted on Jonah's thinking it was mine, and eventually pink-eyed my pillow. I'm not proud of any of this.

I always aim right.

Don't masturbate with a noose. If you do, use a spotter or a teammate.

I'm going to murderball you!

Hey, Jay, do you use that Canadian leaf tattoo as like a cum target? How many points do you get for hitting the stem, like a million?

I went where I went Jason!

Hey Crocket, how's Tubbs doing?

How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?

See ya... Scorcese on coke

I could smoke weed, every second, of everyday.

She like'a da way ya dick taste.