Knocked Up quotes
78 total quotesJason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete
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It's the baseball draft honey, I got Matsui!
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There are FIVE different kinds of chairs in this hotel room.
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You look like Babe Ruth's older gay brother. Gay-be Ruth.
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You look like a cholo dressed up on Easter.
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[quoting ‘Back to the Future’] Where we're going we don't need roads.
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I think it's Matisyahu.
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Oh God, they go apeshit over bubbles. I mean, that’s an incredible thing about a child. What’s so great about bubbles? I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles. It’s totally sad; their smiling faces point out your inability to enjoy anything.
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I'm gonna thrown you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.
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He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.
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[on subject of husbands] You criticize them so much, they get down on themselves, and then they're forced to change!
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[sobbing and thinking about the babysitter] She is such a prissy little high school cu... ****!
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[to Ben and Pete at dinner] Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and **** each other?!
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Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?
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[to Pete when they look at a sex offender registry website] So I'm the bad guy because I care about protecting our kids from child molesters and mercury? And you're cool because you don't give a shit?
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[looking at the fleshofthestars website] He misspelled "coming." Oh that's gross!