Grandma's Boy

Grandma's Boy quotes

115 total quotes (ID: 253)

Mr. Cheezle

Alex: Hey Timmy, can I crash at your house?
Timmy: Why so you can jack off on my mom?
Alex: Jeff's a ****in liar Timmy!

[robot voice] I want you to drink from my man faucet.

[robot voice] AdiĆ³s turd-nuggets.

[playing video game] Uh-uh, wait your turn. I'm on a roll here. Take that - You dirty dopers.

I'll smoke it with you bro, we'll go to the looney bin together. I don't give a ****!

But, underneath this genius...I'm simply a human. You know. But I'm working on that.

[robot voice in dismay] Alex is ****ing Samantha!

[to Grace] So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean, you saw a lotta stuff go down. World War I, World War II, the automobile, Tupac, i mean... [GRACE: I once gave Charlie Chaplain a hand job] Noo way! Was he silent?

Dude anyone can get past a dog, but nobody ****s with a lion!

Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah, put your hands up for that one. This chick's pussy smelled like the Great Depression.

Oh, oh, oh my God! I'm sorry, I can't stop cumming, I'm sorry! Oh-ho-ho, It feels so good!

[to children sitting at wedding reception table] So, you can't kill the demon at the end of level six? Do you have the magic arrows? Easy, here's what you do. Hide behind the boulder. When the demon comes out of the cave, shoot him three times with the magic arrows. Then his head will start to spin. Once that happens, you jump up on the boulder, you do a flying downward thrust with the sword of doom, and thats it - level six is done.

[robot voice] I am not amused.

Yes it sucks we dont have alcohol, but we do serve shots <pause> of wheat grass.

[robot voice] Please sit on my face.