Jeff quotes

Do you need a stuffed animal? I have a dog. I think I have a bear. Yeah, I have a bear.

I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in the world right now.

My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I can talk to other car beds.

I'll run over your attitude, It sucks.

Line up you ****in' nerds. Who's wants a shot at the champ!?

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.

What's goin' on, shitlips?

Whats up Douche Bigelow?

You're dead to me, over.

[sigh] I shoulda' worn a condom.

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so you're - dumb.

Nice karma, Guy-Blow.

I have to pee out of my ass.

[to Grace] So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean, you saw a lotta stuff go down. World War I, World War II, the automobile, Tupac, i mean... [GRACE: I once gave Charlie Chaplain a hand job] Noo way! Was he silent?

Wassup, Silver Fox?

Oh, I started a fight club.

Shit's weak! Shit's weak! Wizzeak!

Hey, look! It's Bono's brother.

Yea.. but it's a ****ing sweet car!

[Mimicking J.P.] My name is JP. I am a robot. I like robots. I have a robot vagina.

Let's do it—The levels I mean, not sex.

Uh-oh? What does that mean? High score? Is that bad? Did I break it?

That's cool.....if you wanna be sober and vomit.

Dude, wanking off on my mom is one thing, but doing your grandma...Thats legendary!

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah, put your hands up for that one. This chick's pussy smelled like the Great Depression.

Good news from the party........Barry sucked on his first boobie! (Barry: For thirteen hours!)

Dude, we were just kidding JP. (mimicking JP's Robot voice) Dont be mad at us!

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

Let's ****ing rage!

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...(said like a news anchor) "A little Hiroshima on my balls".

Who wants to know what Jackie Gleason's balls tasted like? Yes, Cornbread.

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.

I love my turtle.

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