Few Good Men, A quotes

View Quote Galloway: Lieutenant, how long have you been in the Navy?
Kaffee: Going on nine months now.
Galloway: And how long have you been out of law school?
Kaffee: A little over a year.
Galloway: I see.
Kaffee: Have I done something wrong?
Galloway: No, it's just that when I petitioned Division to have counsel assigned, I was hoping to be taken seriously.
Kaffee: No offense taken, in case you were wondering.
Weinberg: Commander, Lieutenant Kaffee is generally considered the best litigator in our office. He's successfully plea-bargained forty-four cases in nine months.
Kaffee: One more and I get a set of steak knives.

View Quote Kaffee: Why did Markinson go U.A.?
Ross: We'll never know.
Kaffee: You don't think I can subpoena Markinson?
Ross: You can try, but you won't find him. You know what Markinson did the first seventeen of his twenty-six years in the Corps? Counterintelligence. Markinson's gone. There is no Markinson.
...
Ross: Look, Danny, Jessep's star is on the rise. Division will give me a lot of room on this one to spare Jessep and the Corps any embarrassment.
Kaffee: How much room?
Ross: I'll knock it down to Involuntary Manslaughter--two years. They're home in six months.
Joanne Galloway: No deal. We're going to court.
Ross: No, you're not.
Galloway: Why not?
Ross: Because Danny knows that even though he's got me by the balls out here, in a courtroom, he loses this case.

View Quote Kaffee: Harold?
Hal: Sir?
Kaffee: You don't need to wear a patch on your arm to have honor.
Hal: Ten-hut! There's an officer on deck! [Hal walks off]

View Quote Kaffee: All right, what's the code?
Dawson: Unit, Corps, God, country.
Kaffee: Come again?
Dawson: Unit, Corps, God, country. Sir.
Kaffee: The United States of America wants to charge the two of you with murder & you want me to go before the judge with "Unit, Corps, God, country"?

View Quote Jessep: Transfer Santiago off the base. Yes, I'm sure that's the thing to do. Wait, I have a better idea. Why don't we just transfer the whole squad off the base? As a matter of fact, why don't we just transfer the whole Windward Division off the base? John, go on out there and tell those boys to come down off the wall, they're packing their bags. Tom!
Tom: Yes, sir!
Jessep: Get me the President on the phone. We're surrendering our position in Cuba!
Tom: Yes, sir.
Jessep: Wait a minute, Tom, don't call the President just yet. Perhaps we should consider this for a moment. Dismissed, Tom. You know, maybe we have an obligation to young William. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to our country to see to it that the men assigned to protect it are properly trained... yes, I'm certain I've read that somewhere and while your suggestion, Lt. Col. Markinson, of transferring William off the base, while expeditious and certainly painless, might not be, in a matter of speaking, the American way. Santiago stays where he is. We're gonna train the lad! Maybe, and I'm just spit-balling here, maybe we have a responsibility as officers to train Santiago. Maybe we as officers have a responsibility to this country to see that the men and women charged with its security are trained professionals. Yes, I'm certain that I read that somewhere once. John, you're in charge. Santiago doesn't make 4-6-4-6 on his next proficiency and conduct report and I'm going to blame you. And then I'm going to kill you.

View Quote "I strenuously object?" Is that how it works? Hmm? "Objection." "Overruled." "No, no. I strenuously object." "Oh. You strenuously object. Then I'll take some time and reconsider."

View Quote Galloway: It's my feeling that if this case is handled in the same fast-food slick-ass Persian bazaar manner with which you seem to handle everything else, then something's gonna get missed. And I wouldn't be doing my job if I allowed Dawson and Downey to spend any more time in prison than is absolutely necessary because their attorney has predetermined the path of least resistance!
Kaffee: Wow! I'm sexually aroused, Commander.

View Quote Spradling: We were supposed to meet in your office 15 minutes ago to discuss the McDermott case. You're stalling on this thing! Now, either we get it done, and I mean now, or no kidding, Kaffee, I'm going to hang your boy from a ****ing yardarm!
Kaffee: Yardarm? [to guy playing 2nd base] Sherby, does the Navy still hang people from yardarms?
Sherby: I don't think so.
Kaffee: Dave, Sherby said he doesn't think the Navy hangs people from yardarms anymore.
Spradling: I'm going to charge him with possession and being under the influence while on duty. You plead guilty, I'll recommend thirty days in the brig with loss of rank and pay.
Kaffee: It was oregano, Dave. It was ten dollars' worth of oregano.
Spradling: Yeah, well, your client thought it was marijuana.
Kaffee: My client's a moron. That's not against the law.
Spradling: Kaffee, I've got people to answer to, just like you. I'm gonna charge him.
Kaffee: With what? Possession of a condiment?

View Quote There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote 'em all, I say, because this is true - if you haven't gotten a blow-job from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by. 'Course, my problem is, I'm a colonel, so I guess I'll just have to keep taking cold showers until one of you gals is elected president.

View Quote The only thing I have to eat is Yoohoo and Cocoa Puffs, so if you want anything else bring it with you.

View Quote Kaffee: Am I correct to assume that these letters don't paint a flattering picture of Marine Corps life at Guantanamo Bay?
Galloway: Yes, among —
Kaffee: And am I also right in assuming that an investigation of this incident might cause some embarrassment to the Security Council guy?
Galloway: Colonel Jessep--
Kaffee: Twelve years.
Galloway: I'm sorry?
Kaffee: I'll get them to drop the Conspiracy and Conduct Unbecoming. Twelve years.
Galloway: You haven't talked to a witness or looked at a piece of paper.
Kaffee: Pretty impressive, huh?
Galloway: You're going to have to go deeper than that.
Kaffee: Commander do you have some sort of jurisdiction I should know about.
Galloway: My job, is to make sure you do you job. I'm special counsel for Internal Affairs, so my "jurisdiction's" pretty much in your face.

View Quote Kaffee: Colonel, a moment ago you said that you told Lt. Kendrick to tell his men that Santiago wasn't to be touched.
Jessep: That's right.
Kaffee: And Lt. Kendrick was clear on what you wanted?
Jessep: Crystal.
Kaffee: Any chance Lt. Kendrick ignored the order?
Jessep: Ignored the order?
Kaffee: Any chance he forgot about it?
Jessep: No.
Kaffee: Any chance Lt. Kendrick left your office and said, “The old man is wrong”?
Jessep: No.
Kaffee: When Lt. Kendrick spoke to the platoon, and ordered them not to touch Santiago, any chance they ignored him?
Jessep: You ever served in an infantry unit, Son?
Kaffee: No, Sir.
Jessep: Ever served in a forward area?
Kaffee: No, Sir.
Jessep: Ever put your life in another man's hands? And asked him to put his life in yours?
Kaffee: No, Sir.
Jessep: We follow orders, son. We follow orders, or people die. It's that simple. Are we clear?
Kaffee: Yes, Sir.
Jessep: Are we clear?!
Kaffee: Crystal.

View Quote Galloway: Lieutenant Kendrick, do you think Private Santiago was murdered?
Kendrick: Commander, I believe in God and His Son Jesus Christ, and because I do, I can say this. Private Santiago is dead, and that is a tragedy. But he is dead because he had no code. He is dead because he had no honor. And God was watching.
Weinberg: How do you feel about that theory?
Kaffee: Sounds good. Let's move on.

View Quote Kaffee: Colonel, when you learned of Santiago's letter to the NIS, you had a meeting with your senior officers, is that right?
Jessep: Yes.
Kaffee: The Platoon Commander Lt. Jonathan Kendrick, and the executive officer, Lt. Colonel Matthew Markinson
Jessep: Yes.
Kaffee: And, at present, Colonel Markinson is dead, is that right?
Ross: Object! I would like to know exactly what the defense council is implying.
Kaffee: I'm implying simply that, at present, Colonel Markinson is not alive.
Ross: Surely, Colonel Jessep doesn't need to appear in court to confirm that information.
Kaffee: I just wasn't sure if the witness was aware that 2 nights ago Colonel Markinson took his own life with a .45-caliber pistol.
Judge: The witness is aware, the court is aware, and now the court members are aware. We thank you for bringing this to our attention. Move on, Lieutenant.

View Quote Kaffee: You got authorization from Aunt Ginny.
Galloway: Perfectly within my province.
Kaffee: Does Aunt Ginny have a barn? We could hold the trial there. I could sew the costumes, maybe his Uncle Goober could be the judge.