Few Good Men, A quotes

View Quote C.O.: It seems important to Division that this one be handled by the book, so I'm assigning co-counsel. Any volunteers? [Stares at Weinberg]
Weinberg: No! Sir, I've got a pile of papers on my desk about a mile high!
C.O.: Work with Kaffee on this.
Weinberg: Doing what? Kaffee will have this done in about four days.
C.O.: Doing various administrative things. Backup. Whatever.
Weinberg: In other words, I have no responsibilities here whatsoever.
C.O.: Right.
Weinberg: My kind of case.

View Quote Weinberg: Don't forget to wear the whites. It's very hot down there.
Kaffee: I don't like the whites.
Weinberg: Nobody likes the whites, but we're going to Cuba. You got Dramamine?
Kaffee: Dramamine keeps you cool?
Weinberg: No, Dramamine keeps you from throwing up. You get sick when you fly.
Kaffee: I get sick when I fly 'cause I'm afraid of crashing into a large mountain. I don't think Dramamine will help.
Weinberg: I got some oregano. I hear that works pretty good.

View Quote Galloway: Why do you hate them so much?
Weinberg: They picked on a weakling. That's all they did, all right? The rest of this is just smoke-filled coffeehouse crap. They tortured and tormented a weaker kid. They didn't like him — so they killed him. And why? Because he couldn't run very fast!

View Quote That's a relief! I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to use the 'liar, liar, pants-on-fire' defense.

View Quote Weinberg: Why do you like them so much?
Galloway: Because they stand on a wall. And they say, "Nothing's gonna hurt you tonight, not on my watch."

View Quote Galloway: Danny, I--
Kaffee: I know what you're gonna say. You don't have to. We've had our differences, I said some things I didn't mean, you said some things you didn't mean, but you're glad I stuck with the case. And if you've gained a certain respect for me over the last three weeks, well, of course I'm happy about that, but we don't have to make a whole big deal out of it. If you like me, I won't make you say it.
Galloway: I was just going to tell you to wear matching socks tomorrow.
Kaffee: Okay. Good tip.

View Quote Jessep: What do you think of Kendrick?
Markinson: Nathan, I don't believe my opinion of Kendrick is--
Jessep: I think he's pretty much of a weasel myself, but he's an awfully good officer. And we see eye to eye on a lot of things, including how to run a Marine Corps unit. And, I believe that taking a Marine who isn't quite up to the job and shipping him off to another assignment puts lives in danger! [Markinson, disgusted, gets up to leave] Sit down, Matthew! We go back a while. We went to the Academy together, we were commissioned together, we did our tours in Vietnam together. But I've been promoted up the chain with greater speed and success than you have. Now, if that's a source of tension or embarrassment for you, I don't give a shit. We're in the business of saving lives, Lieutenant Colonel Markinson. Don't ever question my orders in the presence of another officer. You're dismissed.

View Quote Kaffee: Hold on a sec, we got to take a boat?
Barnes: Yes sir, just to get to the other side of the bay.
Kaffee: Nobody said anything about a boat.
Barnes: Is there a problem, sir?
Kaffee: No, no problem, I'm just not that crazy about boats, that's all.
Galloway: Jesus Christ, Kaffee, you're in the Navy for crying out loud!
Kaffee: Nobody likes her very much.
Barnes: Yes, Sir.

View Quote [Making his opening statement] Lt. Kaffee is gonna try to put on a little magic act here. He's gonna try a little misdirection. He'll astound you with stories of rituals and dazzle you with official-sounding terms like Code Red. He might even try to cut into a few officers for you. He'll have no evidence, mind you, none . . . but it will be entertaining.

View Quote Kaffee: Lieutenant, do you recall an incident involving a PFC Curtis Bell, who'd been found stealing liquor from the officers' club?
Kendrick: Yes, I do.
Kaffee: Did you report Private Bell to the proper authorities?
Kendrick: I have two books at my bedside, Lieutenant: the Marine Corps Code of Conduct and the King James Bible. The only proper authorities I'm aware of are my commanding officer, Colonel Nathan R. Jessep, and the Lord our God.
Kaffee: At your request, Lieutenant Kendrick, I can have the record reflect your lack of acknowledgment of this court as a proper authority.

View Quote I don't want a deal, and I don't want immunity. I want you to know that I'm proud neither of what I have done or of what I am doing.

View Quote Dear Mr. and Mrs. Santiago, I was William's company commander. I knew your son vaguely, which is to say I knew his name. In a matter of time, the trial of the two men charged with your son's death will be concluded, and seven men and two women whom you've never met will try to offer you an explanation as to why William is dead. For my part, I've done as much as I can to bring the truth to light. And the truth is this: Your son is dead for only one reason. I wasn't strong enough to stop it. Always, Lieutenant Colonel Matthew Andrew Markinson, United States Marine Corps. After writing letter, Markinson pulls a pistol from his uniform, places the barrel into his mouth and fires]

View Quote Kaffee: Were you able to speak to your friend in the N.I.S.?
Weinberg: Yeah. She said if Markinson doesn't want to be found, we're not gonna find him. She said I could be Markinson and you wouldn't know it.
Kaffee [eyeing Sam suspiciously]: Are you Markinson?
Weinberg: No.
Kaffee: I'm not Markinson. That's two down.

View Quote Kaffee: I've done something wrong again, haven't I?
Galloway: I'm just wondering why two guys have been in a jail cell since this morning while their lawyer is outside hitting a ball.
Kaffee: We need the practice.
Galloway: That wasn't funny.
Kaffee: It was a little funny.
Galloway: Lieutenant, would you feel very insulted if I recommended to your supervisor that he assign different counsel?
Kaffee: Why?
Galloway: I don't think you're fit to handle this defense.
Kaffee: You don't even know me. Ordinarily it takes someone hours to discover I'm not fit to handle a defense. [long pause] Oh, come on! That was damn funny.

View Quote Galloway: Tell your friend not to get cute down there, the Marines at Gitmo are fanatical.
Weinberg: Fanatical about what?
Galloway: About being Marines.