Spradling: We were supposed to meet in your office 15 minutes ago to discuss the McDermott case. You're stalling on this thing! Now, either we get it done, and I mean now, or no kidding, Kaffee, I'm going to hang your boy from a ****ing yardarm!
Kaffee: Yardarm? [to guy playing 2nd base] Sherby, does the Navy still hang people from yardarms?
Sherby: I don't think so.
Kaffee: Dave, Sherby said he doesn't think the Navy hangs people from yardarms anymore.
Spradling: I'm going to charge him with possession and being under the influence while on duty. You plead guilty, I'll recommend thirty days in the brig with loss of rank and pay.
Kaffee: It was oregano, Dave. It was ten dollars' worth of oregano.
Spradling: Yeah, well, your client thought it was marijuana.
Kaffee: My client's a moron. That's not against the law.
Spradling: Kaffee, I've got people to answer to, just like you. I'm gonna charge him.
Kaffee: With what? Possession of a condiment?
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