View Quote
[reading his novel aloud while typing it] "But dad..I don't know how to love..you never taught..taaaught me how.."
View Quote
I may not have had sex but I'll **** you up!...Y-yeah!
View Quote
Go **** a goat.
View Quote
Look, you're about to cram like...10 years of pimpage into one day. Partner, after that....you're on my level.
View Quote
[About his ex] She was adorable... ****in' bitch.
View Quote
Yup. She was a ho. [Pause] For sho.
View Quote
[Arguing with Mooj] Why are you always telling me to go **** a goat, man?
View Quote
Looks aren't important. Look at me. Really look at me. I am ugly as ****, by traditional standards, but I still get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?
View Quote
[After crashing through a billboard on his bike] There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.
View Quote
From now on, your dick is my dick. I'm getting you some pussy.
View Quote
Is this that movie about babies that are geniuses?
View Quote
[Watching Dawn of the Dead] Whoa! **** that **** up! Bitch, get out of room! Bitch, get out the room!
View Quote
[Being bitter about Amy] If she wants to be some immature little bitch and blow everybody, that's love.
View Quote
[When he gets in the fight with Trish] Okay, first of all I'm not in the stockroom anymore, I'm a floor manager.
View Quote
[Andy shirtless on body wax table] I like your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?