David quotes

[Watching The Bourne Identity] You know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but I think he's rockin' the shit in this one!

[About his ex] She was adorable... ****in' bitch.

I just want to get drunk, *****ed up*, and play some cards!

If I have to hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm gonna "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.

[Trying to get Andy to keep the porn] Uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy! For the last time, I don't want to watch "School of ****" with you!

[Andy says he isn't much of a "ho-runner"] My uncle used to drive a hoe runner.

[Andy shirtless on body wax table] I like your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?

[refering about Andy's partial body wax] You look like a man-o-lantern.

[Bitter about his ex, video taping his butt] You miss that ass? That's the ass of a free man. That ass is going to a club, maybe a night club.

[To Amy at Date-A-Palooza] I wanna take you under the Eiffel Tower and make love to you.

[Being bitter about Amy] If she wants to be some immature little bitch and blow everybody, that's love.

[Digging through the box of porn] And this is...this is "Everybody Loves Raymond"...This probably shouldn't be in here...This is just a good show , I just tape this sometimes.

[David and Andy are talking about relationships] Of course it's horrible. It's suffering...and it's pain and it's...you know, you lose weight and then you put back on weight and then you call them a bunch of times and you try and email and then they move or they change their email...but that's just love.

Look, I dated this girl, and it was the best four months of my life. Then she went down on this guy, in an Escalade, I think.

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