Andy quotes

'm a virgin. I always have been.

I've borked a lot of women in my day.

Is it true that if you don't use it, you lose it?

I hope you have a big trunk, 'cause I'm putting my bike in it.

[high pitched voice] Me so horny. Me love you long time.

I may not have had sex but I'll **** you up!...Y-yeah!

[Andy painting his action figure] And now I am going to make your silver pants blue.

You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much I completely stay away from them!

[After crashing through a billboard on his bike] There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.

You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's... and you feel it and... it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.

Is this that movie about babies that are geniuses?

Hey, enjoy that orange.

Yup. She was a ho. [Pause] For sho.

[After being accused by Jay's girlfriend about writing rude comments on his speed dating card] Look, who the **** are you to put me on trial, I've never even met you. So why don't you back the shit off, and stop with the inquisition? Ya know what, I don't have to answer to you you ain't my bitch. Know what I sayin'? So shit, man, **** it. You should keep your ho on a leash. Hey, bitches be runnin' wild, man.

[When he gets in the fight with Trish] Okay, first of all I'm not in the stockroom anymore, I'm a floor manager.

[drunk] I need some poooon!

[drinking punch from glass shaped like Buddha] Buddha punch. I need some Buddha.

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