Van Helsing Vampires, gargoyles, warlocks, they're all the same — best when cooked well.
Played by Hugh Jackman 
Van Helsing (2004) · 98 quotes
Van Helsing (2004) · 98 quotes
Most-quoted character in Van Helsing (2004): in 30 of its 98 quotes
Most scenes with: Carl (8), Anna Valerious (7), Cardinal Jinette (3)
I'll save you! I swear to God!
More lines from Van Helsing
9 quotes Van Helsing Van Helsing To have memories of those you have loved and lost is perhaps harder than to have no memories at all.
Van Helsing [About Frankenstein's monster]
My life, my job, is to vanquish evil. I can... I can sense evil. This thing— man— whatever it is— evil may have created it, may have left its mark on it— but evil does not rule it. So I cannot kill it.
Van Helsing [after cutting off Mr Hyde's arm]
I'll bet that's upsetting
Van Helsing Requiescat In Pace (lit. "May he/she rest in peace").
Van Helsing I'll find you. I'll get you back, I'll set you free! I swear to God!
Van Helsing [the first time he sees Dracula in the film]
Now that I have your attention.
Van Helsing Why can't I have one of those? [reaction to the firing demonstration of the gatling gun]
Van Helsing [After Dracula offers to restore his memories]
Some things are better left forgotten. [transforms into werewolf]
Scenes with Van Helsing
20 scenes
You're a big one. You'll be hard to digest.
Van Helsing I'd hate to be such a nuisance. I missed you in London.
No you bloody did not! [shows a hole in his arm] You got me good.
Van Helsing Dr Jekyll...
It's Mr Hyde now!
Van Helsing ... you are wanted by the Knights of the Holy Order for the murder of six men, seven women...
... four children, three goats, and a rather nasty massacre of poultry. So, you're the great Van Helsing.
Van Helsing And you're a deranged psychopath.
We all have our little problems. [eats his cigar]
Van Helsing My superiers would much like for me to take you alive so that they may extracate your better half.
I bet they bloody would.
Van Helsing Personally I'd rather just kill you and call it a day. But let's make it your decision.
Mmm, do let's! [knocks Van Helsing across the room]
Van Helsing Bless me, father, for I have...
...sinned, yes, I know. You are very good at that. You shattered the Rose Window.
Van Helsing Well, not to split hairs, but it was Mr Hyde who did the smashing.
11th century. Over eight hundred years old. I wish you a week in hell for that.
Don't get me wrong. Your results are unquestionable, but your methods attract far too much attention. Wanted posters? We are not pleased.
Van Helsing Do you think I like being the most wanted man in Europe? Why don't you and the Order do something about it?
Because we do not exist.
Van Helsing Well then neither do I.
Van Helsing That's why you're coming with me.
The hell be damned that I am.
Van Helsing You cursed. Not very well, mind you, but you're a monk. You shouldn't curse at all.
Actually, I'm still just a friar. I can curse all I want, dammit!
Van Helsing The Cardinal has ordered you to keep me alive. [He hands a Carl a bag of weapons.] For as long as possible.
But I'm not a field man! [Whining] Van Helsing, I don't want to go to Transylvania!
Do you remember anything?
Van Helsing I remember fighting the Romans at Masada.
That was in 73 AD!
Van Helsing You asked.
Some say you're a murderer, Mr. Van Helsing. Others say you're a holy man. Which is it?
Van Helsing It's a bit of both, I think.
Van Helsing He's a werewolf. He's going to kill people!
It's not his fault! He can't help it!
Van Helsing I know, but he's going to do it anyway!
We Transylvanians always look on the brighter side of death.
Van Helsing There's a brighter side of death?
Of course. It's just harder to see.
Van Helsing There's something down here. And it's carnivorous. Whatever it is it appears to be... human. I'd say he's a size 17, about 360 pounds, 8 and a half to 9 feet tall. He has a bad gimp in his right leg, and, ah— 3 copper teeth.
How do you know he has copper teeth?
Van Helsing Because he's standing right behind you— move!
Why does it smell like wet dog in here?
Van Helsing Werewolf!
Van Helsing [To Anna]
Alright [starts choking] Flies! There's flies!!
I give you...VAN HALEN!!!
Van Helsing [aiming the arrow gun, the director shouts "NOW!"]
Shit! [ducks] You frightened the hell out of me! [laughs]
[lifts the bell]
Van Helsing [jumps on his back]
HEY DADDY!!! I'M HOME!!!
Van Helsing There are those who go through the front door....and there are those who speak their lines a little bit better.
Hugh Jackman
I would NEVER trip. [several clips of him tripping/falling down]
Van Helsing Bless me, father, for I have...
...sinned, yes, I know. You are very good at that. [Van Helsing winces] You shattered the Rose Window.
Van Helsing Well, not to split hairs, sir, but it was Mr Hyde who did the shattering.
13th century! Over 600 years old! I wish you a week in hell for that.
Van Helsing It would be a nice reprieve.
Don't get me wrong, your results are unquestionable, but your methods attract far too much attention. Wanted posters! We are not pleased!
Van Helsing Do you think I like being the most wanted man in Europe? Why don't you and the order do something about it?
Because we do not exist.
Van Helsing Well then nether do I. [stands to leave]
[Cardinal presses a switch and a portcullis lowers, trapping Van Helsing in the confessional]
When we found you crawling up the steps of this church, half dead, it was clear to all of us that you had been sent to do God's work.
Van Helsing Why can't He do it Himself?
Don't blaspheme! You already lost your memory as a punishment for past sins. If you wish to recover it, I suggest you continue to heed the call. Without us, the world would be in darkness. Governments and empires come and go, but we have kept mankind safe since time immemorial. We are the last defense against evil, an evil that the rest of mankind has no idea even exists.
Van Helsing To you, these monsters are just evil beings to be vanquished. I'm the one standing there when they die and become the men they once were!
For you, my good son, this is all a test of faith. And now, we need you to go to the East. To the far side of Romania, a accursed land terrorized by all sorts of nightmarish creatures, lorded over by a certain Count Dracula. [shows a picture of Dracula]
Van Helsing Dracula?
Yes. You've never faced one like this before. [shows an image of a man in knight's armour] Our story begins 450 years ago, when a Transylvanian knight named Valerious the Elder promised God that his family would never rest nor enter Heaven... until they vanquished Dracula from their land. They have not succeeded, and they are running out of family. [shows another image] His descendant, Boris Valerious, King of the Gypsies. He disappeared almost 12 months ago. [shows another two images of a young man and woman] His only son, Prince Velkan, and his daughter, Princess Anna... If the two of them are killed before Dracula is vanquished, nine generations of their family will never enter the gates of St. Peter. For more than four centuries, this family has defended our left flank. They gave their lives. We cannot let them slip into Purgatory.
Van Helsing So you're sending me into Hell.
In a manner. [a monk gives him a script] Valerious the Elder left this here 400 years ago, we don't know its purpose. But he would not have left it lightly. The Latin inscripton translates as: "In the name of God, open this door". There's a insignia.
[Van Helsing looks at his ring, which has the same symbol as the script]
Yes, it matches your ring. I think that in Transylvania you may find the answer you seek.
Well, did you bring Mr. Hyde back or did you kill him? [sees that Van Helsing is alone] You killed him, didn't you? That's why they get so annoyed! When they ask you to bring someone back, they don't mean as a corpse.
Well, you're in a mood! Not to worry, got just the thing to put the bit back in your teeth. [Van Helsing stops to look at a rack of swords] Oh, any idiot can make a sword!
Blacksmith Monk
Hey! [holding glowing sword tip at Carl's face]
S-S-Sorry, Father...
Van Helsing [shaking his head]
Come along, Carl.
So what do you remember?
Van Helsing Not now, Carl. [keeping his eyes on the villagers who are looking increasingly hostile]
Surely you remember something.
Van Helsing I remember fighting the Romans at Masada.
That was in 73 AD!
Van Helsing You asked.
What are we doing here? Why is it so important to kill this Dracula anyway?
Van Helsing Because he's the son of the Devil.
I mean besides that.
Van Helsing Because if we kill him, anything bitten or created by him will also die.
I mean besides that.
Welcome to Transylvania!
[Van Helsing sighs and drops his bag to face the villagers, who watch him suspiciously]
Is it always like this?
Van Helsing Pretty much.
Gravedigger
[Van Helsing, hunting the werewolf, coming across the Gravedigger in a coffin]
Nice night, [Van Helsing points his gun at him] this is a bit tight for me, but for you, [he circles Helsing to the coffin] it's a perfect fit. What a conicidence. I see the wolf-man hasn't killed you yet. [starts to dig out a grave]
Van Heling
[cautiously looking around]
Don't worry, he's getting to it. You don't seem to bothered by him.
Gravedigger
Oh, I'm no threat to him. I'm just the one who cleans up after him, if you get my meaning.
Van Helsing A little late to be digging graves?
Gravedigger
Never too late to dig graves. You never know... when you need a fresh one.
Gravedigger
[Gravedigger swings his shovel at Van Helsing, Van Helsing grabs it and points his pistol at the Gravediggers face] [last words]
Oh, sorry! It's just m-my nature.
[The werewolf appears and lunges at Van Helsing, but he dodges and the werewolf runs into the Gravedigger, killing him]
Van Helsing [chokes Anna]
Why?!
You're choking me!
Van Helsing Give me a reason not to.
I can't. If people knew...
Van Helsing [lets go of Anna's neck]
He's not your brother anymore, Anna!
You knew?
Van Helsing Yes.
Before or after I stopped you from shooting him?
Van Helsing Before.
And still you tried to kill him!
Van Helsing He's a werewolf! He's going to kill people!
He can't help it! It's not his fault!
Van Helsing I know, but he'll do it anyway!
Do you understand forgiveness?
Van Helsing Yes. I ask for it often.
They say Dracula has a cure. If there's a chance I can save my brother, I'm going after it!
Van Helsing No! I need to find Dracula!
And I need to find my brother! He gave his life for me, he's the only family I have left. I despise Dracula more than you can ever imagine. He has taken everything from me, leaving me alone in this world.
Van Helsing To have memories of those you loved and lost... is perhaps harder than to have no memories at all. All right. We'll look for your brother.
A silver stake?! A crucifix?! What, did you think we haven't tried everything before?! We've shot him, stabbed him, clubbed him, sprayed him with holy water, staked him through the heart, and still he lives! Do you understand?! No one knows how to kill Dracula.
Van Helsing ... Well, I could have used that information a little earlier.
Van Helsing Now Carl, what ever you do, don't stare at him. [Carriage door opens to show the Monster struggle under chains]
I'm staring at him! Is that a man?!
Van Helsing [Grabbing Carl and pushing him into the carriage]
Several men, actually. Parts of them, anyway.
Van Helsing All right Carl, what have you learned.
That Count Dracula was actually the son of Valerious the Elder. The son of your ancestor.
Everybody knows that, what else?
All right. well according to this rubbing, it all started when Dracula was murdered.
Van Helsing Do you know who murdered him?
No, it's just some vague reference to the Left Hand of God. And in 1462 when Dracula died, he made a covenant with the Devil.
Van Helsing And he's given a new life.
But the only way he could sustain that life is by drinking the blood of others.
Uh, excuse me. Are you going to let me tell the story?
Both
Sorry.
And your ancestor, having sired this evil creature, went to Rome to seek forgiveness. That's when the bargain was made, he was to kill Dracula in return for eternal salvation of his entire family right down the line all the way to you.
But he couldn't do it. As evil as Dracula was, my ancestor couldn't kill his own son.
So he banished him to an icy fortress, sending him to a door for which there is no return.
And then the Devil gave him wings.
Yes.
Van Helsing All right. So where is this door?
I don't know. But when your ancestor couldn't kill his son. He left clues, so that future generations might do it for him.
That must be what my father was looking for in here. Clues to the door's location.
Van Helsing The door, of course. You said your father spent hours staring at this painting trying to find Dracula's lair. I think you were right, quite literally. I think this is the door, he just didn't know how to open it.
[pointing at the Latin inscription]
Look, the Latin inscription. Maybe it was like that painting in the tower.
If this were a door, my father would've open it long ago.
[Carl finds out the piece of the inscription is missing]
I can't finish the inscription, there's a piece missing.
Van Helsing Your father didn't have this.
Where did you get that?
Van Helsing Carl, finish it.
Van Helsing [Carl puts the final piece and translates the inscription]
In the name of God, open this door.
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