Simon Barsinister It's okay. You all make mistakes. But I forgive you.That's the kind of person I am...humble.
Played by Peter Dinklage 
Underdog (2007) · 36 quotes
Underdog (2007) · 36 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Underdog (2007): in 13 of its 36 quotes
Most scenes with: Shoeshine/Underdog (3), Molly (2)
Don't worry, it will only hurt a lot.
More lines from Simon Barsinister
8 quotes Simon Barsinister Simon Barsinister It should be me on the front page, not that stupid mutt. I need a sample of his DNA. How do you look in a dress?
Simon Barsinister Simon says: Surround the sad ex-cop. Simon says: Convince.
Simon Barsinister Shoeshine, isn't it? Or shall I address you by your nom de guerre, Underdog.
Simon Barsinister You know what the saddest part is? You thought they love you but they only love the power that I gave you.
Simon Barsinister I'll play your game but it'll be a stretch. Can you resist this? Simon says: Fetch.
Simon Barsinister [repeated line]
Simon says…
Simon Barsinister After him!
Scenes with Simon Barsinister
4 scenes Simon Barsinister The serum.
Doc, he's going through the door!
Simon Barsinister (Simon Barsinister closes the door but Shoeshine escapes)
It works.
Riff Raff Hey, runt, you lost? The name's Riff Raff.
Little Brown Dog He's Riff Raff.
Riff Raff I mark this territory.
Little Brown Dog Yeah, he marked it.
Look, I don't want any trouble.
Riff Raff Well, today's your lucky day, mutt. I'd rip you pieces but I don't want to get my paws dirty.
Bulldog Yeah, you're not worth his time, fleabag.
Little Brown Dog (laughing)
Fleabag! Yes.
Riff Raff Get him!
Oh my gosh, they're made of dog! Are you people crazy?!
Shoeshine, come here. It's not real dog.
What is it then?
It's animal parts. You know, noses, hooves, intestines.
In that case, I'll take two.
Do you think this thing will create us another superdog?
Simon Barsnister
Why make one when I could create a plethora?
That's a "P" word. I have it.
Simon Barsinister Just pick it up, you ape.
Riff Raff Hey, Speed Bump, you survived. Let me guess: you went to satellite instead of cable. (laughs)
Put a muzzle on it.
Riff Raff What's the matter, runt? You let your girlfirend do the talking for you? Maybe you can't hear me. (barks at Shoeshine; to Sweet Polly PureBred) If you ever want to be with a real dog, give me a sniff.
Simon Barsinister You slack-jawed, mouth-breathing imbecile! I should have put strychnine in your chocolate milk months ago. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't dispose of you right now!
I found this.
Simon Barsinister Wise decision.
You and your boss will never get away with this.
He's not my boss! We're partners!
Then why are you doing this?
Because my partner said that he might fire me if I don't!
Can't we just work this out dog-to-dog?
Simon Barsinister They're not going to listen to you, Shoeshine. They're loyal to me.
Riff Raff Look who is is, it's Speed Bump.
Little Brown Dog You again?
Riff Raff Hey, runt, are you still hard of hearing?
Little Brown Dog Hello?
Riff Raff I told you to stay away.
Listen, I'm in a hurry! Don't mess with me!
Riff Raff He's just look like all the little dogs. All bark, no bite.
I do not bite, yes that is true. But see what my bark will do to you.
Riff Raff Huh?
Little Brown Dog That's just bad rapping, dog.
Little Brown Dog (Shoeshine barks at Riff Raff and his fur is blown away)
Ooh, I didn't need to see that.
Bulldog Boss, you're so pink. It's very becoming.
Riff Raff Aaa, ahh! I'm naked! I'm naked!
Barsinister [After Shoeshine falls from the vent, knocks mayor out unconscious and rips Barsinister's white shirt pocket, unconscious.]
That'll teach you to mess with me. [gets up] Simon says... "Lunch."
Maim
[The German Shepherds lands down on their feet.]
Don't worry. It will be over in no time.
Kill
You're not even big enough to be table scraps.
Attack
Huh?
Maim
Wait...
Barsinister [Shoeshine attacks Maim, sending him flying into one of the white statues holding a cannonball.]
How did you-? [looks at what Shoeshine did to get his powers back] SIMON SAYS, "ATTACK!"
I would love to stay and chat, but I got to find where the bomb is at! [jumps to the ceiling]
Maim
Whoa...
Barsinister AFTER HIM! [The German Shepherds take their feet off to the ceiling to chase Shoeshine]
Attack
Lift off!
Kill
Make sure he he doesn't get outside!
My powers may be back at last, but these German shepherds are way too fast!
Maim
I'm on your tail!
Barsinister [watching the German Shepherds chase Shoeshine on the ceiling]
What is with that dog?
Hey! Who's he to call you worthless?!
Maim
[understanding what Shoeshine is saying]
Yeah, he's got a point there! [angrily] Our master doesn't value us as sparkling individuals!
Kill
Yeah. Let's go, Maim and Attack! [they turn on Barsinister]
Attack
It's time to go switch teams.
Barsinister [seeing them turn on him]
What are you doing?
Attack
Let's go teach the master a lesson!
Barsinister Bad dogs!
There are no bad dogs, only bad owners. Don't worry, Doc. This will only hurt a lot.
Barsinister [The German Shepherds start attacking Barsinister.]
Do you actually think that you can stop me, runt? [uses his teeth to activate a time bomb]
[Molly, tied up on the roof of the Capitol City by Cad, sees the time bomb activated to run t-minus 2 minutes. starts beeping.]
HELP!
Barsinister You have two minutes before a bomb explodes over Capitol City, dispensing a DNA cocktail that will make every citizen as obedient to me as a common dog.
Hold him 'til the cops get here. [runs off]
Barsinister [Dan enters while the German Shepherds are attacking Barsinister.]
Look who they decided to send up, the hero idiot.
I prefer the term "visionary". [uses a metal syringe on Barsinister's left shoulder, stopping his powers]
Barsinister Oh! [groaning]
